This Fractured Beat
by Riverimogen
Summary: Set during New Moon, before the cliff dive. The Cullens return to Forks after learning of the threat of Victoria. Will Bella get caught up in old fights, or will she escape into a friendship with the new kid at school. Nothing is ever as it seems...
1. Chapter 1

As soon as I stepped out of my truck and looked over to where my friends were standing I could tell that something was going on...they fidgeted as if expecting something big about to happen, as if they knew something bad was going to unfold and the anticipation was forcing them to constantly move. Each one of their embodiments was different...whatever this 'something' was, it affected each in a unique way.

I looked first to Angela. She nervously played with her clothing, all the while a look of worry... or was it sadness...etched across her face. She was removed from the insistent chatter that was enveloping around her and instead seemed focussed on her own thoughts, trying to figure something out.

That immediately had me worried. Angela was the only one among my friends who I was certain was a purely good person, someone who never held hidden agendas or motives. If Angela was so concerned about whatever it was that was happening, surely it must be bad, and important. She was never one to worry so about trivial things.

Next I looked to Jessica and cringed. She appeared to be so excited that she was literally jumping up and down, moving, pacing, a bubble of toxic energy. She looked like a cat engaging on a hunt, sniffing the air for excitement. Her smile was wide, almost frightening, which made my worry deepen even more. I may not possess the ability to read minds like Ed....like _he _could, but I knew most of her thoughts were preoccupied with petty and selfish things. For her to be excited like this I anticipated that this 'something' would involve subject matter such as someone else's embarrassment, pain or distress...something that she and her friends would be able to giggle over, gossip behind backs about and obtain a sense of superiority through.

My focus then shifted to Mike. He was planted more firmly to the ground than the others, moving less and resisting the urge to fidget. His face was no less descriptive than the others though.

Across his features were elements of anger, fear and sadness. I thought of how 5 months ago it wouldn't have pained me as much to see Mike's distress, but through everything that had happened Mike had been one of the only ones, along with Angela and Ben, to show any sort of friendship and concern for me. It was such a nice feeling to know that I could be weak, need help, need kindness and some people were still willing to offer it to me...not like him. My thoughts turned to him even though I willed my every fibre of being to not return there. How short my life span would be compared to his, how quickly the time would go for him, but how long it would take me to get through every day that his absence wrenched my gut and my stomach. At least I appreciated Forks more now than ever before...the weather imitated my heart....

It took me a while for their stares to penetrate my thoughts. Their faces came into my focus as one by one they turned to stare at me, slowing and finally stopping their frantic whispering, their expressions magnifying at the sight of me.

It began to dawn on me that the reason for this 'excitement' may have something, or everything, to do with me.

Jessica's lips were pursed as if she were ready to unleash all the gory details upon me. Mike looked like he was ready to physically pick me up and carry me somewhere safe.

Angela seemed to be telling me with her eyes to run, to get out of here, to save myself before it was too late. This seemed to me to be quite a desirable choice, as I had no intention of fuelling Jessica's anticipated delight with my discomfort.

However, if there was anything I had learned from the past was that no matter how hard and fast you run, you can never escape the consequences of the world around you. It was futile to try and avoid the pain if it was there to be collected. Better to face it head on and deal with whatever it brought you than let it hide in your mind to leap upon you when you let your guard down.

I approached the group with a look on my face that told them I knew something was up and I wanted to know what was going on.

I maintained eye-contact with Angela, because I wanted to hear it from her. I knew that whatever it was it was not going to be good, and I knew she would tell me in the best way possible.

With every step my heart accelerated with panic...did I want to know what has happened? What on earth could it be...was someone hurt? Charlie? Renee? Jacob? Has someone died????

I had to reassure myself that it couldn't be too bad...there were no police here, no ambulances, and no family friends.

Whatever it was, it couldn't be that bad....

could it?

"Angela" I said in no more than a whisper, "you look really upset, has something happened?"

She took a large intake of breath, obviously steeling herself for what she was about to say, the pain and regret on her face unmistakable. "Bella...."

Suddenly my heart began to thunder furiously in my body.

I felt instantly sick and could feel every inch of myself shake.

This was a purely physical reaction, not triggered by any thoughts, but instead brought on as an instinctual reaction to something my eyes caught in the periphery of my vision...

something shiny and silver in the car park...

the Volvo!

I felt immediate tears well in my eyes and the panic began to consume me thoroughly, making me grasp my middle in order to stop myself from collapsing onto the ground. I felt sick, so very sick, and frightened and...excited?

I was too scared to look towards the car in fear of what I might, or might not, see there. Instead I forced my eyes to return to Angela's, forced myself to stop the tears that were already beginning to tumble from my eyes, forced myself to swallow the nausea and the blinding panic and began to breathe again.

"Is that whose car I think it is in the car park?"

Angela only nodded in reply.

"I can't look!... is _he_ there now?"

Another nod.

"Is he looking this way?"

With Angela's next nod I could feel an intense self-consciousness creep within me. What did I look like right now, what was I wearing...was it too tight, too baggy, how was my hair...I wish that I had looked at myself in the mirror before leaving the house today!!! Normally my appearance was not something I agonised over, but I had an overwhelming feeling of unattractiveness, of ordinariness, of not being worthy at this precise moment and it was all I could think about. Even though I detested the shallowness of obsessing over appearances I fully understood why my first reaction to this event was to worry like that...because at the end of the day what I was, and what I am, was not enough to keep Edward in my life. He had made it very clear with his actions that something about me let him down, that something about me didn't measure up. Otherwise why would he have told me he loved me forever only to take it back?

After he left me I looked at myself in a way I never had before...I looked at myself with hatred, with loathing and contempt. I had not been good enough for him and I hated myself for not measuring up, for not being what I needed when I needed it the most. I spent whole days trying to figure out what exactly wasn't good enough. My list grew larger with every day...

I was ordinary looking....if only I had been beautiful like Rosalie, perhaps he would have been so in rapture with me he wouldn't have found the strength to leave.

I was boring...perhaps if I was more interesting, had travelled more, had experienced more, then I would have interested him too much to let go.

I was untalented.... I was unremarkable, no outstanding musical talent, no creative and unusual mind, no physical prowess to boast about (unless you consider my amazing talent for tripping, falling and getting hurt prowess), perhaps if I were talented at something he would have thought that I was irreplaceable.

I couldn't change who I was, I couldn't be something different, and the saddest, most despairing feeling in the whole world was to feel like you were not good enough for the only person you ever wanted to love you. What hope did that leave you for ever being happy again? What hope did it give you that you would ever love and be loved again?

I despised myself for being who I was. Over the past few months I had been able to relieve some of that feeling by focussing on the fact that people in my life now were not the amazing, immensely beautiful, incredibly talented type of creature that he was. I was among 'mere mortals' and my light burnt just as brightly as theirs instead of being lost in the shadows of someone else's.

But now, knowing that he was here again and that he was looking at me, I remembered how very little I had to offer creatures like him. The one thing I could offer that was unique was my heart and my love, and that was something that he didn't want.

I began to feel anger rising within me...how dare he make me feel like that!

I looked to Jessica, thinking of how she belittled herself and lost my respect when she behaved judgmentally, thinking she was better than others. Perhaps he was no better than her!

I told myself this in order to stop the incredible waves of pain from knocking me off my feet. Sadness such as this was crippling, but anger was revitalising. It encouraged the body to do something about it!

The anger was beginning to work, I began to feel a sense of pride and indignation and knew that it might be _just _enough to get my feet to work and carry me across the carpark, past him, and into the school grounds without making an idiot of myself.

"Angela, will you walk with me to class?" I pleaded, not wanting the self-consciousness that comes from walking alone, paying attention to every step you take and trying to look nonchalant. If she walked with me I could pretend to be deep in conversation and save my dignity for the time being.

"Of course...do you want to go somewhere to talk?"

"Not right now Angela, I just want to get into class, sit at a chair and try to calm down."

"That sounds like a good idea!" she said enthusiastically, grabbing me by the arm and leading the way.

Thank god for Angela! She held my arm to angel me slightly away from where the Volvo was parked and engaged me in conversation the whole way into the school grounds...talking about her and Ben's weekend, the stupid movie he had made her sit through and the discussion she'd attempted to have with him about politics.

She kept talking insistently until before I knew it we had past the shiny Volvo and whoever was standing near it and were standing outside the classroom.

I was thankful to have gotten through this first hurdle, but my gratitude was bitter sweet. All I could think of now was the regret that I hadn't looked at him, hadn't seen his beautiful face, hadn't talked to him, hadn't gotten any answers as to why he was here and what that could mean.

I wasn't an idiot, I knew at some stage he and I were probably going to have to talk about why he was back. I knew that all that would come in good time though, and my stomach lurched knowing that it would come at a price. My heart felt physically damaged from when he left me, would it literally break this time? Was I able to expose myself again to his brilliance without my light being extinguished when he left again? Why couldn't he just leave me alone!

I entered the classroom and paused quickly to lean against the door and re-group. .._It's ok Bella, just breathe, you've made it this far..._Pushing myself from the door, I began to feel a little more confident, I had a whole hour ahead in which I could think about strategy, about what I was going to do about this situation. I was also comforted that I would not be at risk of falling apart in front of this many people...I did have some pride and to break down into tears in front of an entire classroom was not my usual style.

Once I made my way to my seat a realisation dawned on me that stated my stomach lurching all over again....we planned our timetables together...so we'd have almost every class together....oh dear god in heaven, please please please don't let him keep that timetable now he's returned!!!

I whimpered, I couldn't help it, and slumped my head onto the desk. To my relief, I was actually feeling slightly amused by the whole situation. Like my clumsiness, my bad luck was limitless...I smiled..._well what else could happen, really Bella this situation can't get any worse!_

And as I looked to my right, the nausea climbed directly into my throat again as I realised that it could get much, much worse...I knew what else could happen...he could sit in the empty seat next to me. After he left no one had been brave enough to sit next to me in class...I was obviously THAT fun to be around. Looking at that empty chair and knowing what it could possibly mean removed all traces of humour from the situation. Instead I whimpered again and my head hit the desk with a dull thud once more.

While I was staring at years worth of scribbling and graffiti and starting to feel sick from the extremely unnatural smell on the desk...._man, do they ever wash these things_...I heard the classroom door open and someone walk in.

Lauren, who sat three rows down from me, sucked in her breath and whispered "well well well, what do we have here!?!" to the sheep that sat next to her, who responded with a giggle.

Then other whispers..._I wonder what his story is_...._I wonder where he's come from_...._He is so hot_..._he's going to sit next to Bella, this should be interesting!_

Oh no, here we go. I placed both palms on the table and pushed my chest up from the desk. I put on my bravest, my confident face and turned to greet.....

Who is this??


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N** Hey guys, please bear with me...this is my first ever fanfic and I'm trying to improve. Any comments would be gracefully received and greatly appreciated 

**End of Last Chapter: **

_While I was staring at years worth of scribbling and graffiti and starting to feel sick from the extremely unnatural smell on the desk....man, do they ever wash these things...I heard the classroom door open and someone walk in._

_Lauren, who sat three rows down from me, sucked in her breath and whispered "well well well, what do we have here!?!" to the sheep that sat next to her, who responded with a giggle._

_Then other whispers...I wonder what his story is....I wonder where he's come from....He is so hot...he's going to sit next to Bella, this should be interesting!_

_Oh no, here we go. I placed both palms on the table and pushed my chest up from the desk. I put on my bravest, my confident face and turned to greet....._

_Who is this??_

CHAPTER TWO

The boy that sat next to me was not Edward.

The hair he was running his hand through was brown, not bronze. The skin of his face was blushing with colour, not gleaming with white. The eyes I was staring into were green, not black or topaz.

This was a boy, not a vampire, and he looked frightened and scared and nervous and shy, he looked like he wanted the earth to open up and swallow him whole rather than be stared at and talked about by everyone in school simply because he was new...what had Jessica likened it to on my first day...a shiny new toy?

"Hi" I said quietly, offering him a subdued smile...I knew the smile he would get from the other girls would be as wide as their faces and full of repulsively frightening enthusiasm. I could appreciate that he was very handsome and felt sorry for him...new _and_ attractive, he would be the centre of attention from the female student body for a while.

"Hi" he returned, and blushed even more. Trying awkwardly to make it look like he was relaxed, this strange, shy boy leaned back in his chair...too far back though and I didn't need Alice's gift of future vision to know that he was about to slide off his chair. Suddenly the expression on his face changed from a smile to sheer terror as he ceremoniously thudded to the ground. To make matters worse he had still been holding his bag, whose contents were now flying, or rolling, across the expanse of the classroom.

I watched this show with an increasing feeling of comfort...this unexpected newcomer was a man after my own heart, a male 'Bella'. _His luck may even be worse than mine_ I thought sympathetically. Imagine what disasters would befall the two of us if we were to spend time together..._poor Forks_, I thought with a smile, _forget vampires and werewolves....with our powers of mishap combined I'm sure a lot worse could happen....perhaps the whole town will explode, be decimated by a meteorite, sucked into a black hole...._

I was still smiling at the thought when he returned, red faced, to his seat. He looked at me horrified and I knew instantly he thought I was laughing at him. I didn't want him to feel that way, not from me. I had been in his exact position last year and remembered how overwhelming and scary it all seemed....not to mention I also knew what it was like to receive hateful and mean behaviour on your first day with no apparent reasoning behind it.

"Oh, I wasn't laughing at you" I reassured softly "sorry, I just think you and I have a lot in common. I too manage to make myself look like a complete idiot on a frequent basis"

"Oh" he replied and looked down at his hands

"Um, that doesn't actually make you feel any better, does it" I said wrinkling my nose up, smiling at how my attempt at reassurance had deepened his self-consciousness.

"No, not really" he replied, but then raised his face to meet mine again and gave me the biggest, warmest, most generous smile. It was a Jacob Black kind of smile and I immediately felt at ease with this new addition to Forks.

I held my hand out to him "My name's Bella, I was new here last year so can appreciate how you're feeling right now"

"Hi Bella, I'm Logan" He said quietly, shaking the hand I had offered, all the while shyness seeping out from him "and I am so embarrassed right now I honestly want to find a large hole to crawl into to spend the rest of the day hiding"

"There's none" I replied dryly "Believe me, I've looked"

He beamed back at me, obviously pleased by my last comment for some reason "Well, I'm glad you didn't find that hole, otherwise I would have been left to the mercy of _them" _I looked towards the direction he was gesturing to and saw Lauren almost licking her lips while gushing in the sheep's ear, never once taking her eyes off Logan.

I felt such a strong feeling of comfort again, not only was Logan shy and sweet, but he was also perceptive...I could see a potential friendship blossoming here...

And just as I was beginning to feel good again, the smile was smacked off my face as Edward walked into the classroom.

Without waiting for permission, traitor tears immediately sprang to my eyes and an aching pain began to throb in my stomach, travelling up my torso to sit heavily in my heart.

Edward.

He looked so beautiful, and seeing him made me realise how dull a room is when he's not in it, how empty a town feels when he doesn't live there anymore, how slow time goes when you think you'll never see him again.

I could not tear my eyes away from him, I was still so utterly and overwhelmingly in love with him, all I wanted to do was look at him for a while longer, just a little while. Looking at him felt like coming home after a long absence, I realised time and indifference had done little to ease the urgency and potency of the emotions I had for him. I knew I was standing on the edge of a cliff right at this moment, and once he was out of my sight again I would be able to see the dizzying height from which I was about to fall. If I thought I'd been reckless and dangerous before with the motorbike I was dead wrong....to look at him, to acknowledge the feelings I still had for him, to watch him walk away again....now that was dangerous.....deadly....

He scanned the class for a vacant seat and found one at the very back. As he walked to the back of the room he never took his eyes of his destination. He didn't look at me once, not even one of those sneaky corner-of-the-eye peeks. His face looked cold and determined, and he showed no evidence that he even realised I was in this class.

It was at this point that I felt the bile rising up in my throat. I felt sick beyond words. My skin began to feel extremely cold and wet...was I sweating? My heart was hammering and the panicked feeling had returned so strong that my vision was blacking out and I thought I was going to have a seizure.

I knew it....I knew my heart couldn't take it again...he couldn't care less about me and now he was flaunting that in my face for me to see.

Why did he have to come back then? If his feelings didn't stretch to love, surely he could just care a little, enough to know how badly it would hurt me to see him again, to be rejected by him again...

Just as I was about to surrender myself to the onslaught of a full-fledged emotional breakdown in the middle of class, I felt a warm hand touch my forearm and a kind voice say "Bella, are you ok, you look don't look well".

I opened my eyes and saw such a concerned look on Logan's face, as if he too may cry if I began to cry.

"Is anything wrong? You look really sick, can I get you anything?" he persisted.

After a few seconds I began to calm and found my voice "Thanks Logan, I'm ok...I felt sick for a bit, but I'm starting to feel much better now" I smiled to reassure him.

"Oh thank god" Logan said in a joking tone "I was thinking getting puked on would not be a great way to meet friends on your first day"

"Maybe it would if it was me doing the puking, I'm not that popular and you might find many sympathisers keen for you to join the ranks of the 'Bella's a freak' army" I replied bitterly, reminded by Edwards presence of all my faults, all my failings.

"Well, count me out... I'm on team Bella" He concluded.

Despite my plummeted mood, I found myself smiling. In an unspoken moment, Logan and I seemed to share an understanding that days like these are the tough ones you need to get through to experience the not-so-tough days. We were united in our ordeal.

The teacher began to talk and the class went silent. It was then that my thoughts returned to Edward. The fact that he was sitting behind me, a few rows back, was so distracting. I couldn't concentrate on anything other than the screaming sound of silence from the back of the classroom.

Without permission again, my body acted on its own accord and turned in my seat. My eyes disobeyed everything my heart was screaming for them to do and looked at him. He was looking down at his desk, writing on a piece of paper. I felt relieved that I could take the sight of him all in again for a few seconds without his eyes reminding me of how he no longer loved me. His hair, his skin, the way the muscles in his arm tensed as he wrote, his lips...he took my breath away. He was beautiful beyond comprehension and for a moment I let myself hope...he loved me once, I was sure, perhaps....

He looked up straight at me.

For a second his eyes flickered with surprise, _perhaps he truly hadn't seen me when he had entered_, but soon the surprise was replaced by something else. Disappointment? Disapproval? Disinterest? A cold blank look came across his face, and as he returned to look at his desk he subtly shook his head...I knew it to be a nonverbal statement telling me he did not want anything to do with me.

The anger rose again and I refused to look away. _Look at me_, I was screaming in my head..._just look at me and see me, see what you've done to me, face up to yourself, face up to me!_ But his eyes never left his desk, his expression never changed from one of bored disinterest.

The anger was getting too much to bear, how could he just waltz in after what had happened and think it was ok to ignore me. No apology, no explanation, no warmth. He just showed up at school, sat in my class and pretended like nothing had ever happened.

Perhaps to him nothing had. Perhaps he didn't see the big deal with just showing up like this because he didn't really think of me anymore, it wasn't an issue at all for him.

This hurt so bad that I didn't know if I had the strength to keep on going through this pain, how could I last the next hour, the next day, week....how was I going to get through this.... but what choice did I have?

I only realised that I was still staring at Edward when I heard Logan speak next to me "Excuse me Mr Dohl, but I feel _really_ sick, is there any way I could be excused to see the school nurse".

"I don't see why not" the teacher replied.

"Umm "Logan continued "This is my first day and I don't know where to go, can Bella be excused too so she can show me?"

"If that's ok with her" the teacher replied, disinterested.

I looked at Logan and nodded my head, not needing a moment's hesitation to escape the situation I was in.

"What's wrong Logan" I asked as soon as we were down the hallway. He looked ok...he had a good colour to his skin and didn't seem to be in discomfort.

"Nothing" he replied sheepishly "I hope you're not mad at me, but I could tell something was wrong, something to do with that guy that came in to class late maybe, and it looked like you were about to burst into tears. Now, if your anything like me, which I get the feeling you are, it would of been a fate worse than death to create a scene in there, so I thought I'd fake illness so we could ditch"

Tears welled up in my eyes, but this time they were tears of gratitude. "Thanks so much, that was really great of you to do that"

"No problem...now what?"

"ummm school tour?" I suggested "So next time you'll know where the nurse's office is"

"Sounds like a plan" Logan replied and we set off. For the remaining period we maintained pleasant small-talk. Logan was from the south and had moved here recently to live with his sister. As he told me this his face took on such a sad expression and I sensed whatever brought him here to Forks was a tragic, not happy, story, but he didn't go into details and I didn't pry. After the chaos that was this morning I sensed we both needed a break from the darker side of human emotions and that some light conversation and relaxation was in order.

He was really into music and talked mainly about the groups he was obsessing about at the moment and the concerts he had been to recently. I, in return, talked to him about my favourite groups and he teased me silly about them. We couldn't have more different taste in music it seemed, and made plans for the future to try and convince each other that they should like our music instead of theirs.

The time seemed to fly by with easy chatter. I smiled and thought of Jacob, the way Logan made me forget my heavy emotional burden and smile without forcing myself to was so similar to how I felt spending time at La Push. Could Logan be my Forks version of Jacob? Perhaps I would be lucky enough to have two suns in my life...maybe the future didn't look so dismal.

We were in the area of the school office when the door flung open and out danced Alice. My heart soared.

Alice!

Edwards sudden return was horrible, but if it meant was Alice back in my life it was almost bearable!

"Alice!" I shouted excitedly "Your back!" As I began to rush towards her, eager to embrace her, I slowed to watch the play of emotions across her face.

Alice looked at me with bewilderment, which shifted quickly to joy, excitement, love...and then to horror and fear, finally settling on that same blank expression Edward had worn in the classroom.

"Bella" she replied in a clipped tone "so good to see you again, we should catch up soon...see you around sometime perhaps" and then she turned her back to me and walked gracefully away.

I watched her go and tried to comprehend what had just happened...I could understand Edward wanting nothing to do with me, wanting to avoid the infatuated human, but Alice? Why would she treat me like that? We were best friends! Then I realised...Jasper. If it weren't for my clumsiness, my stupidity, my 'humanness' Jasper would never have tried to attack me, and the family would never have had to leave. I could imagine the guilt that Jasper felt too, and knew that it would tear Alice apart to see him hurt so much, all of it because of me. If it weren't for me she would have never had to watch Jasper suffer, had to watch her whole family suffer as they packed up again and left too soon. Edward didn't want me in his life because of everything that I wasn't, but Alice didn't want me in her life because of everything that I was.

I looked at Logan, who was just standing there staring at me with an expression of deep thought, and tried to smile, but he wasn't buying it.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, not even needing to ask me if I was alright this time. Not for the first time in my life I was disappointed at how easy I was to read.

"Nah". I tried to sound flippant, but the weight of everything I was feeling was insidious in my voice.

"You can tell me you know" he continued "Believe me, it'll be my turn soon to cry on your shoulder. I hope I'm not being presumptuous, but I've got the feeling that you're going to be a really good friend to me Bella, let me start off by being the same for you".

As I looked into his eyes, I felt my resolve fading. I wanted to tell Logan everything, I wanted to let someone in and help lift my burden. Even though Jacob was so good to me, the situation was complicated because of what he was and what he wanted. In that moment I decided I would share with Logan what I could.

I gave him an _extremely _abbreviated version of events

"Edward and I used to see each other, but his family had to move away and I was heartbroken. This is the first time I've seen them since they've left"

"Them?"

"That girl we just saw, Alice, she's Edward's sister"

Logan pondered this information for a while, before carefully choosing his words "I believe there's more to this story you're not telling me Bella"

As he said this he had the most serious look on his face, a suspicious look, almost a knowing look...it wasn't possible that he could know something was it? He _did_ just happen to show up the same day as Edward and Alice....perhaps...

"I don't know what you mean" I answered, fishing for more clues as to what Logan was thinking.

"Well...don't get offended if I'm wrong, but in class today you were more upset than someone would be to see an ex that left town. And he was slightly more cold than an old boyfriend who simply left state should be, so I'm thinking that something more serious happened that has created the....tension, I suppose you could call it, that I've seen today"

He swallowed deeply, indicating nervousness and apprehension, then continued "did he....hurt you in anyway...did he....are you ok....."

I could see the immense discomfort he was feeling now and although I was upset that Logan should feel any discomfort around me, I also was relieved that his suspiciousness focussed on more human traits of cruelty.

I decided to be completely honest with him "Before Edward left he told me he didn't love me, that I was not good for him".

I was startled by how honest I was being with Logan....normally I wouldn't expose my vulnerable feelings to anyone, let alone a stranger, but there was something about him that made me feel like instead of losing something by sharing with him, I was gaining something....comfort, support, a friend...I wasn't sure what, but I knew that I _wanted_ to let Logan in past my shield I normally wove around my frailty in the presence of others.

However, saying those words out loud for the first time stung just as bad as hearing them had. Probably worse because I could hear the faltering of my voice and could see what those words had truly done to my heart and soul. They had damaged my heart so badly that it could not beat like it used to, it was fractured and I didn't know how I could heal it and make it better again.

Logan looked me right in the eyes and said plainly, with no hint of pity "Well then, he's a complete idiot. I've only just met you but already I can tell you're someone pretty damn special. Don't worry Bella, you'll get through this" and he smiled at me as if we had known each other all our lives "So....enough with the bleeding hearts huh, we've got a tour to continue!"

Looking at him, I wondered what exactly I had done right to be given such a gift today. Logan was like my angel who had arrived to guide me through one of the most difficult days. And just like that we were off again, talking about our favourite books, our most embarrassing accidents, back to music again, until it was time to go to our next class....

"Is he in the next class?" Logan asked quietly.

"Yup" I gulped, and then quickly smiled when I saw how concerned Logan was watching me.

"I'll be ok, I feel a lot more centred now" I assured him, and scarily enough I did. I knew it would probably all fall to pieces when I saw Edward again, but for now I was with my new friend who seemed to be everything I needed and nothing I deserved.

Logan gave me a knowing smile, but didn't comment. "See you at lunch Bella, thanks for the tour" He said as walked in reverse away from me.

"Take care Logan, you never know what kind of creature you'll bump into in these halls" I teased.

"Well, I think I'll stick by you as much as possible, you seem good at keeping the monster at bay" Logan joked as he turned the corner of the hall.

_How right you are Logan_, I thought, _how utterly and miserably right you are....if anyone can repel the monsters, the beautiful, lovely, breathtakingly amazing monsters, I was the best at it...._

I was late for class, which I thought was a blessing initially because the frantic dash I had to make to class prevented me from thinking too much on the fact that Edward would be there too, but as I burst through the door I realised that being late was the opposite of a blessing. I frantically scanned the room for any other available seat, anywhere else I could hide, but I was out of luck. The only seat left in the class was my normal seat, but unlike normal, the chair next to mine was occupied. I took a deep breath, clutched my arms around my waist and fortified what was left of my heart as I took my place at the desk next to Edward.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N **What are people's thoughts on sticking with Bella's point of view for the majority of the story? At the moment I only have one or two chapters in mind that I would like to write from Edward's point of view, but am open to change if that's what others think is needed. Let me know.

**End of Last Chapter: **

_I was late for class, which I thought was a blessing initially because the frantic dash I had to make to class prevented me from thinking too much on the fact that Edward would be there too, but as I burst through the door I realised that being late was the opposite of a blessing. I frantically scanned the room for any other available seat, anywhere else I could hide, but I was out of luck. The only seat left in the class was my normal seat, but unlike normal, the chair next to mine was occupied. I took a deep breath, clutched my arms around my waist and fortified what was left of my heart as I took my place at the desk next to Edward._

**Disclaimer: **All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just having some fun with them.

CHAPTER THREE

I sat down without looking at him and got my books out, arranging and rearranging them on the desk to give me a purpose while I thought about my next move.

I stole a glance out of the corner of my eye and saw he was looking down at the desk, like he had been in the last class, but instead of that cold blank look on his face there was a different expression that I couldn't figure out. He looked thoughtful and kind of sad, and every fibre of my body yearned to reach out for him, to touch his hand or his arm, to reassure him and myself that whatever he was thinking of was going to be ok. If this was a few months ago I would have been able to reach out to him, hold his hand or stroke his face, look him in the eyes and ask him what was wrong. Instead, today, I settled for a hesitant "Hi."

"Bella" he nodded back, never taking his eyes from the desk.

"How have you been?" I continued quietly, noting how strangely calm I sounded....perhaps my body was finally deciding to obey my wishes.

"Fine thanks and you?"

"Fine" I lied.

How crazy was it that two people who used to spend every free moment enjoying each other's company now had to force conversation.

We sat in silence while the teacher relayed what we were to do during the lesson, Edward never once looking up, never once looking at me or removing that pained look off his face. I decided that by not asking I would just be delaying the inevitable, that we would continue to dance around polite conversation unless one of us asked the real questions. So I steeled myself and began to talk.

"Why are you back?" I asked, but the question came out of my mouth sounding like an accusation and I immediately regretted the tone of my voice. However I was not going to apologise. I didn't owe Edward anything and he had been nothing but incredibly cold towards me so far this morning. _Let him think I'm angry at him, beats him realising how much I still love him and the embarrassment that would follow that revelation._

"The family has some....business left to finalise in Forks" he answered hesitantly "it may take a while, so we thought it was the best idea that we all returned together until it's taken care of."

It hurt me to hear Edward talk about _his _family...the family that I so desperately wished I was a part of, the family which had abandoned me with no hesitation.

I pondered Edwards's words for a minute....unfinished business....and suddenly it dawned on me why the Cullen's were back.

"Your here because of Victoria, aren't you?" I whispered.

Edward suddenly snapped his head up and looked me right in the eyes, not with a blank stare, but with a probing urgency. He looked afraid.

"How did you know?" he whispered back.

"She's been spotted around Forks, and when I saw Laurent in the field he mentioned he was sent here by her to find me, so...."

Edward cut me off with a quiet snarl. I looked at him and could see his jaw was clenched, his face outraged and scarcely able to hold on to reserve. He was trying to compose himself in this class room of humans, but I could tell he had to fight the urge to yell very loudly. He was angry and frightened, and instead of making me feel better it actually made me feel annoyed.

"She's been _spotted?_" he spat in a low tone so only I could hear him "And Laurent's been here? What the hell has been going on Bella?"

I was hurt by his display of anger...I guess I was expecting concern, tenderness...some kind of emotion that indicated he couldn't bear the thought of me being hurt. But anger? What did he have to be angry for? He left me here alone, I didn't send him away to leave me so vulnerable. Only a fool would assume that I would no longer be in danger from the forces that surrounded his world, and I was sure Edward was no fool.

"A lot has been going on, Edward" I spat back "But nothing we haven't been able to handle. So thanks for the thought, but you and your family can leave knowing your _business_ is being well taken care of".

I turned away from him and quickly hid my face with my hair. Why was I so angry? Why was I crying? Why was I reacting like this!

Because, of course, I had held a small shard of hope in my heart that Edward and his family had returned because they missed me, loved me and wanted me to be a part of their life. However, they were returning to finish what they felt they had started, and after that was done they would leave again. Did Edward not realise that leaving me again would be just as great a death sentence as the one Victoria had planned for me?

When I looked back at Edward, I saw he had gained control of himself again, and now when he spoke it was with a detached sharpness, like a teacher scolding a naughty pupil.

"Stop behaving like a child Bella, you are no match for Victoria so.....

_...wait_ a minute....what do you mean 'nothing _we_ can't handle', who is this _we_?"

Oh crap! I knew that Edward would eventually find out about Jacob and the others, but right now I really couldn't handle dropping that little bomb into Edward's lap myself. He was barely able to contain himself when he found out I had known of Victoria's return, but to hear that I now spend my spare time with a pack of werewolves....I'm pretty sure he wouldn't take that one quite as well.

"I didn't say we" I mumbled unconvincingly. Why oh why wasn't I a better liar!

"Yes you did Bella. Who else knows about....it? Who have you told?"

_He thinks I told people about this? About vampires being alive and well in the world and after my blood? He thinks I would risk exposing his family, his secret?_

I looked at him with utter rage. I was so angry that I was shaking and my nails were digging cruelly into the palm of my hand. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and throw my books across the room in a king sized tantrum. Instead I settled for a harsh whisper and a cold hard stare.

"How dare you accuse me of telling somebody about this whole mess I've gotten myself into! You may be able to selfishly put others through hell because you don't think things through to begin with, but I'm a completely different creature to you _Edward_, and don't you forget it!"

As soon as my little outburst was over, I knew I had spoken too loudly...not yelled, but loud enough for the room to grow quiet and everyone, including the teacher, turned to look at me.

I realised I had risen to my feet....another uncomissioned body reaction...so thought _Well, while I'm up, I may as well leave!_ And with that I grabbed my books and bag, and proceeded to huff out the classroom.

As I slammed the door behind me I heard a very startled and confused teacher mumble "ahhhh, Miss Swan?" but by this stage I was committed to making a grand exit, and couldn't really care less about what consequences I might receive from storming out of class with permission.

Once the door was shut, I just ran. My breath heaving ...not because of the physical exertion, but because my heart ached so badly it was trapping the air in my lungs. I ran until I had found a quiet and isolated corner of the school. Once there I dropped my books and bags down at my feet and just stood there for a while hyperventilating and clutching my stomach. But instead of calming down, the pain I was in grew, twisting and turning into a massive ball of agony.

Everything that I had been able to compartmentalise and file away...leaving my home town; falling in love with a vampire; the battle in phoenix; Jasper's attack; Edward and his family leaving; Jacob and his complications; Victoria....all of it combined to create an tidal wave of emotions flooding my already damaged defences. Suddenly it was too much for my legs to bear and my knees gave way. I crashed to the ground and put my hands on the floor to gain some balance. The blinding, consuming tears began to pour from me, and even if I had tried with all the strength left in my body, I knew it would do no good to attempt to gain control. I had lost the battle and surrendered to the consequences.

I crouched there for a while like that, just sobbing and heaving and wishing that there was some way that I could be someone, somewhere else. I wished that someone could take all this pain away from me and let me breathe again.

I don't know how long it took, but eventually I began to gain some control over the sobbing, there were a few seconds every now and then when I felt like I might stop crying soon. And as the waves of pain began to subside, I felt mortified by what had just happened. How could I let myself get carried away like that?

As I straightened into a kneeling stance, I noticed I was not alone.

Alice was sitting beside me, and from the look on her face she'd seen everything. I wasn't sure whether it was through her visions or whether she had been physically beside me throughout the ordeal, but she had born witness to my emotional breakdown.

I felt so sick, so tired and I couldn't think of a thing to say to her. All I could manage was to look at her beautiful face and try to stifle the sobs that were still seeping out from my body intermittently.

"Bella?" she said hesitantly.

"Yes?" I managed to squeak.

"I am so very, very sorry....for everything. I...I just don't know what I can say to make you feel better, but please believe when I tell you that I would give anything to take back what we've done to you. I'm so sorry...."

And before she could say anything else, she sprang forward to clutch me in an embrace.

All of a sudden I was home, I was safe. I inhaled her sweet scent in and clung to her strong cold body, squeezing her tightly in fear of letting her go.

Eventually I loosened my grip on her to look her once more in the eyes.

"Alice, you have nothing to be sorry for. It's all my fault, everything, and I only wish that I had never come to Forks and put you and your family through all this" I said as I buried my face in my hands.

She put her hands on either side of my face and pulled me up to look at her, I could see the pain on her face.

"Bella, I am so glad you came to Forks....your my best friend and I will never regret any part of your presence in my life"

"But, today in the hallway, you seemed so...cold, like you wanted nothing to do with me".

She pursed her lips, obviously thinking of what to say next.

"Well, that wasn't my choice...I was just following orders. Stupid orders, may I add, that I have no intention of continuing to obey".

"Whose orders?" I replied weakly, knowing full well what the answer would be.

"Edward said it would be easier if we kept a distance, if we kept out of your way until we had done what we came to do. But please know I never wanted to stay away from you. Edward was _logically_ right in his thinking, but seeing you like I just did now..." she sucked in a breath and looked like she was about to burst into tears "...well, I just don't think that's going to work out well for any of us. Can I ask what happened to cause you to be in so upset?"

I took a moment to think about what Alice had said. I agreed with her, Edward was right in theory. If they were able to stay out of my life and keep me safe, then it would be easier for all of us when they left again, but real life doesn't work like that, especially when it involves silly, weak humans like myself who were in way over their head.

"Edward thinks I've talked to someone about Victoria. Please believe me Alice when I tell you it's not like that....it's....complicated. I wouldn't know where to start to begin to explain..."

"Well" Alice replied gently "let's start at the beginning and work from there."

So that's what we did. We picked up my books and bag, walked to a secluded area on the school grounds and I told her everything. Starting with my zombie period, though to Jacob and the current situation. Throughout the story I could see Alice momentarily furrow her brows, let out hisses, a few 'hmm' and 'hah's with a couple of 'I see's'. At the conclusion of my story Alice sat very still and quiet and I waited on baited breath to hear her verdict.

"This is a particularly large kettle of fish you've ended up in Bella" She finally concluded. Then a smile crept up on her face, coupled with a low chuckle "Only you could weave such a story like that, wait till Emmett hears this, he is going to laugh so hard he might pull a muscle!"

At that we were both laughing, I could just imagine Emmett slapping me on the back, chuckling about how it's always so much more fun when I'm around.

"Did I miss the joke?" An extremely serious, velvet voice asked from behind us.

We both spun around to find a very un-amused Edward staring at us like we had just been caught drawing on the walls by our parents. I looked to Alice and felt comforted that she held no fear, only rebellion in her eyes.

"You were wrong Edward, wrong about so many things. I will explain everything to you later, but in the mean time I think you owe Bella an apology".

Edward looked at Alice with festering anger and a look that said _I will deal with you later_, then rearranged his features back into that cold, blank stare, looked at me and said "I'm sorry for upsetting you Bella. If it's not too much trouble, may I talk to Alice in private for a minute? Perhaps we'll see you in the cafeteria".

I looked around and noticed that it was, indeed, lunchtime. I had had an extremely unproductive, yet eventful, morning.

"Sure" I replied in the same monotone, polite manner as the question had been asked and stood up. Before I could walk away, Alice grabbed my arm.

"Alice!" Edward barked.

But Alice ignored him, showing an edge of defiance that I assumed must cause her a great deal of turmoil and anguish, I knew how much she loves and respects her family, especially Edward, and to defy their wishes must not come easily.

"Bella, I'll see you soon, I promise" she said happily, even though she flashed Edward a warning look.

I nodded, taking hold of her hand a giving it a brief squeeze.

"Edward" I said as I walked past him "I trust that you will find a more appropriate place to sit in our next class together".

As I walked away I could hear Alice giggle, then stop abruptly and I winced...she was most definitely going to be in trouble!

Entering the cafeteria, I was assaulted by a din of smells, noises and action. After my dramatic morning it was more than I could handle to be amongst such chaos, especially since I knew there would be plenty of people talking about me today....I had supplied plenty of fodder for the gossip eaters this morning.

As I was planning another grand escape, Mike and Angela caught my eye, waving for me furiously to come sit with them. _Oh well_ I thought _I can't keep avoiding everyone and everything for the rest of the scholastic year _and made my way over to their table.

"Are you ok?" Angela asked.

Lauren, who I hadn't noticed was sitting at the table until now, leaned across and purred "Yeah Bella, I heard you had an absolute _fit_ at Edward Cullen in calculus and ran out of the classroom. What happened?"

Her face was telling me 'I'm so innocent and concerned about you Bella, confide in me', but I knew better. Her face was a vicious camouflage for the predator that lay beneath.

"I'm fine thanks" I replied to Angela "But if you don't mind, I need to go grab some food before I starve to death". That was such a lie. I felt sick to my stomach with grief and fatigue, but I needed an excuse to cut short the conversation and get away from Lauren.

"We already got you some" Angela replied remorsefully. She knew what I was trying to do and was kicking herself for removing my escape hatch.

"Thanks" I mumbled and took my place at the table.

"Do you mind?" I heard from behind me and turned to see Logan, tray in hand, pointing to the seat next to me. Of course I didn't! I was so relieved to see Logan...not only because he made me feel safe, but also because I knew Lauren would find him a much more interesting target for attention than me now.

"No, sit down Logan, how was the rest of your morning?"

"Pretty uneventful, no more accidents or mishaps...you should have stuck with me by the sounds of it" He replied through a mouthful of food, one eyebrow raised and grinning like an idiot.

"Yeah" I laughed "Maybe next time!"

The table settled into easy conversation, everyone taking turns to ask Logan 20 questions, Logan gracefully and politely replying, but I could see he was uncomfortable and embarrassed. Every now and then he'd steal a look at me and give me one of those 'lord help me' smiles.

I looked for Edward and Alice, but they hadn't come into the cafeteria. I had a strong pang of guilt and worry that Alice was in trouble and getting a mother of a telling off, but I knew that she was tough and that she wasn't about to let Edward boss her around.

My concern grew, however, over the course of the day when Edward didn't show up for any of the other classes we should have had together. I wasn't able to catch sight of Alice either and began to fear that they had, once again, left town in a hasty and mysterious manner.

When I got home from school Charlie was, beer in hand, mucking around with his cruiser outside the house.

"Hey Bells" He called out "How was your day?"

"Interesting" I replied, biting my cheek.

"Oh?" Charlie was trying to sound disinterested and casual, but failing miserably. I could see the curiosity emanating from him.

"Yeah, there's a new student at school, Logan, he seems really nice, I was thinking of getting him over for tea one night soon. You'll like him...he's a lot like me".

"Humph" Charlie retorted "One's not enough for Forks huh"

"Apparently not" I replied.

As I got to the top of the steps, just before I walked through the door, I offhandedly called out "Oh, and the Cullen's are back"

I heard Charlie curse which was pretty unusual for him, especially around me, then he followed hurriedly behind me. "The Cullen's....as in..."

"As in Edward and Alice are back at school". I was amazed at how nonchalant I was being.

"Bella...." Charlie grumbled, and I turned to face him, holding out my hands as if to fend off an attack.

"I'm not going anywhere near them don't worry....well not him anyway....Alice though...."

Charlie pondered this for a moment and then said gruffly "If he messes with you again, Bella, I'm going to have him arrested for being a first-class jerk, just so we're clear".

"I won't stop you Dad, but I don't think you've got much to worry about".

No, I thought, Edward has no intention of messing with me at all. This is a business trip for him, and a rather unpleasant one at that. Soon he'll be gone I will remain unmessed with...but totally messed up.

As Charlie headed back out to his cruiser he called out "Oh yeah, Jake rang, said it's urgent and you need to call him back immediately".

Great...I knew for a fact now that this day is about to carry on as it started...tiring, emotional and thoroughly unpleasant.

"Bella!" Jake thundered down the phone "Tell me it isn't true!"

"Ok Jake" I replied, rolling my eyes even though he couldn't see "It isn't true".

Silence.

"Really?" he asked in disbelief.

"No"

"No what, no it isn't true or no you weren't telling the truth when you said it isn't true?"

"Jake, can you hear yourself?"I asked in exasperation, nonetheless I was chuckling to myself.

"Umm, yeah. Are you trying to distract me? Anyway, enough with this, it's getting nowhere. Are the Cullen's here or not?"

"Well why didn't you just ask me that in the first place" I replied, beginning to laugh out loud now.

"BELLA!!!!" Jake screeched into the phone.

"Ok, ok" I soothed as I tried to regain my composure and stop laughing "Yes they are back, well Alice and Edward are back at school at least, I'm not too sure about the others but I think....".

Jake swore under his breath and then began a muted conversation with someone else that I was apparently not part of, I assumed Sam and others from the pack were waiting with baited breath around Jake while he talked to me on the phone.

"Ok" He said with an air of authority when he came back to the phone "I'm coming to get you now. You can stay with us for a few days until we get this situation sorted out. Charlie can come too if he wants, but it's more important....."

"Hold on Jake" I interrupted "I'm not going anywhere".

There was an empty pause and I was sure Jacob expected me to produce an explanation or plea as to why I was refusing to follow his orders, but I wasn't going to give him one. This was my life and I was sick of being told what was best for me by everyone else. Besides, I knew I was in no danger from the Cullen's, and furthermore I was actually safer here at home having two groups of mythical creatures protect me. I was staying put.

"Please Bella, its bad enough that Victoria...."

"No Jake" I interrupted again "I'm not going. You know as well as I do that I have nothing to fear from the Cullen's, they're here to protect me from Victoria, just like you are"

"Protect you!" Jake started yelling "They've done nothing but put you in danger! Please Bella be reasonable!"

"I am" I sighed "Please don't fight me on this Jake, I'm not going to La Push. If you want to talk about it you can come here and we'll talk, but please don't fight with me because of this. It's hard enough..."

At this my voice started to break, telling Jacob more than words the emotional rollercoaster I've been through today

"Please Jake" I begged "Please just let me stay home"

"I'm sorry Bella" Jake said softly "I should have stopped to think about how hard this must be on you. I'm not happy about this though...can I come over and try to talk some sense in you?"

"You can try" I laughed "But remember who you're talking too. I'm not exactly the definition of sensible"

"No Bella, you're not" Jake said with resignation "I'll be over in 10".

Putting the phone back on the cradle, I wondered through the fog of exhaustion how I was going to be able to handle this conversation with Jacob.

As I set about making dinner, I had to laugh at myself. Every time I thought it couldn't get any more difficult or complicated fate proved me wrong. What on earth was in store for me next?


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **I had to resubmit this because I realised I missed out a word when I had checked it before submitting. One tiny word that bugged me so much I had to make sure it got back in there. Sorry for the inconvenience!

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie Meyer owns all the characters, I'm just having fun with them.

**End of Last Chapter:**

"_Please Jake" I begged "Please just let me stay home"_

"_I'm sorry Bella" Jake said softly "I should have stopped to think about how hard this must be on you. I'm not happy about this though...can I come over and try to talk some sense in you?"_

"_You can try" I laughed "But remember who you're talking too. I'm not exactly the definition of sensible"_

"_No Bella, you're not" Jake said with resignation "I'll be over in 10"._

_Putting the phone back on the cradle, I wondered through the fog of exhaustion how I was going to be able to handle this conversation with Jacob. _

_As I set about making dinner, I had to laugh at myself. Every time I thought it couldn't get any more difficult or complicated fate proved me wrong. What on earth was in store for me next?_

Chapter Four

_I wonder where he is!_

I was beginning to get worried. Well that was a lie...I was beside myself with worry, but was trying to fend off yet another panic attack today.

Charlie and I had long finished dinner, I had cleaned up and was now trying to start on some study, but Jacob was yet to turn up at the house. Charlie had been called out on a job that he said was going to take a while and now the house was claustrophobically silent and still. I could hear the ticking of the kitchen clock and with every second my unease grew.

I looked at the clock...an hour had passed since we had talked on the phone. Although I tried to reassure myself he had probably gotten sidetracked or waylaid on the reservation, my mind couldn't help wandering into dangerous territory. What if Victoria had turned up, what if they had gone to confront her and Jacob had been hurt...killed! What if the pack had decided to confront the Cullen's, what if there had been a fight...what if....

"Damn it" I said out loud "I'm not staying here any longer".

I grab the keys to my truck and headed out the door.

Like hell I was going to marinate in an endless sea of 'what ifs' all night. There were two possible answers to the question 'where the hell was Jacob'. Answer number one: 'he's fine, just sidetracked'. In this instance I wasn't going to sit around and work myself into a disgusting ball of mess for nothing. Answer number two: 'he's not fine', in which case I was not going to sit here passively waiting to accept the news that would kill me, especially since I would know that it would have been all my fault.

I pushed the truck as fast as it could safely go heading in the direction of La Push and kept my eyes on lookout for any sign of Jake. I had driven for maybe 10 minutes when I saw something reflect the beam of my headlights in the forest. Slowing down and winding down my window I kept whispering to myself 'It's nothing... just a piece of old scrap metal probably', but as the truck drew parallel with what had caused the reflection I saw _exactly_ what was lying just off to the side of the road....Jacob's bike!

I slowly got out of the truck and quietly shut the door behind me. I stood still and listened for a while...nothing.

I didn't know what to do and started to panic. I hated being so frail and mortal in a world where everyone else seemed to be bullet-proof and deadly.

If Jacob was running about in the woods because of Victoria, how sensible was it to go running in after him? I wouldn't stand 10 seconds in a battle with Victoria...the three previous run-ins with vampires who were after my blood had taught me that.

And yet, here I was still alive and relatively unscathed, my heart still definitely beating. Perhaps as much as I was a magnet for danger I was just as good at managing to live through it. And if I didn't try to help Jacob when he was in trouble, would I be able to live through the emotional consequences of that?

Just as I was beginning to make up my mind to be a complete idiot and go after him into the forest, I heard it. A low growl that definitely didn't come from an animal followed by a human voice shouting....Jacobs's voice!

Whatever was going on, he hadn't shifted into his wolf form and was a vulnerable human in the midst of god knows what.

I no longer had to think, my body had made up its mind and only told my brain what it was doing as I was already whizzing through the forest.

It had gotten dark and I could barely see my surroundings, all I knew was that I was heading downhill and picking up speed by the second.

"Jacob!" I screamed "Jacob where are you?"

The blood was pumping so hard in my ears that I couldn't tell whether anyone had answered me. A few stray branches scraped at my face and I was losing control over my velocity and direction. I stumbled a few times, grazing my hands, but the adrenaline had me back on my feet immediately, still screaming Jacobs name and running deeper and deeper into a forest where I could hardly see in front of my face.

The ground appeared to be levelling out, but I was still hurtling at a ridiculous speed thanks to gravity...which in all honesty has never been my best friend.

My lungs were burning with every breath and my legs felt so shaky that I was amazed they were still holding up my body. My heart was thumping loudly and erratically and I wondered if it was going to explode....

and then it stopped.

My heart stopped, my breath stopped and the weight of my body on my legs stopped....because I had managed to run straight off a cliff!

It felt like experiencing sudden turbulence on a plane. My stomach took a while to catch up with my body, and my mind took a while to catch up with what exactly I had done...only a few milliseconds, but it seemed like a lot longer in the moment.

I could see the stone ground beneath me, probably about 12 feet down, and prayed for multiple broken bones rather than one broken head.

And then nothing

...._nothing!_

No crash, no landing, no bright light, no searing pain. Instead cold, strong arms and a deep throaty chuckle. Then I was placed in a standing position back on the ground.

"You can open your eyes now Bella"

"EMMETT!!!" I screamed coming back to life. "Oh Emmett, I've missed you so much!!!"

I flung myself back into his arms and hugged him so tight that if he weren't a vampire he would have been crushed.

He was shaking with laughter, and I pulled back to look at him.

"Some things don't change do they Bella? If I didn't know better, I'd think you put yourself in danger on purpose just so you can cop a good vampire manhandling!"

I laughed and gave him a smack across the arm, wincing in pain as my fingers cracked against his hard skin.

"Oh my god Bella, how did you manage to stay alive longer than 5 minutes after we left!!"

And with that he was beside himself with laughter, messing up my hair with one hand while curling me into a hug with the other.

"I'm not too sure myself Emmett" I chuckled back "But as you probably know I was working on that"

"Hmmm yes, your definitely in a pickle little one, but never fear Emmett's here! By the way, we found your dog...you really should get him neutered you know...stops them from wandering they say....or is that cats?"

"Jacob!" I yelled. I couldn't believe I had forgotten about him. "What's happened Emmett, is he ok? You haven't fought with him have you?" It made me sick to think what could have happened. Jacob was no match for Emmett!

Emmett took my arm and started to lead me through the forest.

"He's fine, he's just having a few problems with the short leash the treaty has him on" he chuckled, quite pleased with himself for this joke.

"Actually" A familiar voice boomed across the forest "I was telling these overgrown bats that I'd _love_ an excuse to tear them to pieces"....Jacob.

I looked at Emmett with one eyebrow raised "So you've had the chance to get to know my Jacob?" I said with a smile.

"Yes, he's....charming" Emmett laughed "Believe it or not Jaspers managed to calm him down, which is lucky because if he had shifted into his wolf form I hate to think what could of happened..."

"Jaspers here? Do you think he will be angry when he sees me? I feel so rotten when I think..."

Emmett cut me off with a chuckle "Edward was right about your ridiculous thought patterns....the guy tries to eat you and your stressing that he's angry with you! Your definitely one of a kind Bells!"

" That's me" I said a little too bitterly for my liking...Emmett had been nothing but lovely to me since I'd met him and didn't deserve to be talked to like that. I decided to change the subject "You said you would hate to think what could of happened if Jacob had shifted into wolf form...since when have vampires worried about the safety of werewolves"

"Ha! Never!" Emmett said good-humouredly, but then followed this with quite a serious tone "Alice told us about everything Bella, I hope you don't mind. It was a good thing too, because if Jacob had bumbled into our path without us hearing about how close you two were, he would have been dead within seconds. But when Alice stressed how much the mutt meant to you, how much we would be taking away from you by hurting him...well, none of us want to be the bearers of that burden Bella."

"Thanks Emmett" I said softly, squeezing his hand.

"Don't mention it Bella. But did you really have to come hurtling through the forest and jumping off cliffs to make sure we didn't kill your pet? You could have just asked politely...although that wouldn't have been half as hilarious"

"I was actually more worried it was Victoria he was fighting with" I admitted.

With that Emmett hit his forehead with his open palm and groaned "So you came stampeding through the forest, by yourself, with the grace of a psychotic elephant in order to confront Victoria...for petes sake Bella, we are going to have a harder time keeping you alive than I thought!"

I didn't respond. He was right, it was stupid of me...if Jacob was no match for Victoria then I was pretty much dead on arrival.

"I'm glad you're so foolhardy though" he continued, giving me an extra squeeze "It makes life much more fun when you're around!"

It was really dark now, and I could just make out 3 figures in the approaching foreground. Two of them were as silver as the moon, standing dead still on the spot, the other was dark and pacing frantically back and forth in a line.

"Bella!" the dark one shouted...Jacob "What the hell are you doing out here!"

"Hi Jake, how are you? I'm fine thanks for asking" I replied jokingly, but was met with cold silence.

I was glad I couldn't see their faces from here because I was sure they would not be welcoming.

"Well?" One of the silvery figures asked....Edward "Answer the dog, what are you doing out here?"

"You didn't show up" I directed towards Jacob "And I was really worried about you. I drove out to find you and saw your bike by the side of the road. When I heard a fight I just reacted on autopilot. I know it was stupid, but you really should have called!"

"And said what exactly" Jacob yelled, obviously furious at me "I ran into your leech of an ex and his bloodsucker pals, we're just hanging out in the woods so I'll be a little late?"

"That would have done the trick" I said carefully. I was embarrassed at how Jacob was behaving and didn't know what to do.

Now that I was standing a few feet away from them I could see them more clearly. Jacob was indeed furious...agitated and apparently unable to stand still.

Jasper was looking at me with a friendly smile, and was probably concentrating on trying to calm Jake down.

Edward was staring at me with a mixture of anger and concern.

"Did you get hurt?" he asked gently, and I was taken aback for a moment. He had been so cold and uncaring at school that it was a shock to hear him talk to me like he cared at all.

"Don't worry bro, I caught her" Emmett said "Do you want to hear something funny...Bella thought Jacob might have been fighting with Victoria...that's why she came running in here!"

"What!" Jacob exclaimed

"Is that true Bella?" Edward asked with a resigned tone, as if this didn't surprise, or please him, in the least.

"Does it really matter? Emmett and I have already covered the 'stupid Bella' topic" I sighed in reply "what's going on out here anyway?"

Emmett explained the situation to me. He, Jasper and Edward had been tracking the scent of a vampire they were unfamiliar with through the forest when Jacob had caught _their_ scent and went to investigate. Apparently they had been standing here for the last half hour negotiating the finer points of the treaty...in other words arguing...until I came plummeting through the forest and ran off a cliff.

"Well" I said "Now that everyone has kissed and made up, I'm going home"

I began walking to my truck when Jacob sprinted to my side and grabbed my arm "No Bella, you really need to come back to La Push".

"Get your filthy paws off her before I rip them off your arms" Edward hissed.

I turned to look at Edward in surprise, shocked that he would have such a reaction. I was about to tell him that I was in no danger when Jacob barked back "I welcome you to try, I've been waiting five long months to kill you for what you did to her".

"What I did, I did for her safety, and from what I can gather you've done nothing but put her in harms way since the moment you met her...now get your disgusting hands off her"

"What right do you have to tell me what to do" Jacob scathingly replied "I was the one who had to look at her and see how sick she was, how much pain was in her eyes, how much damage you had done. I was the one who never left her, who was there for her when she needed someone. I was the one to make her happy again, to open her heart up to life again. What right do you have to stand there spouting about her safety and well-being when all you've done is hurt her more than she's ever been hurt in her life.....!"

Jacob was staring at Edward and squinting his eyes in hard concentration, obviously telling something to Edward through his thoughts. Edward looked shocked, pained and then instantly angry "And you think that gives you any right over her?" He menaced "Being in the right place at the right time? All it makes you is lucky, pup!"

"Yes" Jacob smirked "But then...what does it make you?"

A growl erupted from Edward and I knew a serious fight was seconds away. My head was pounding and my eyes welled with tears. This was more than I could handle.

"Stop!" I yelled....silence. I had to think of something before things got ugly. I had to separate Jacob from the Cullen's for now and then try and talk some sense into them later.

"Firstly, stop talking about me like I wasn't here! And this whole business about 'rights' over me seems extremely last century...Jacob, could you drive me home please, I'm far too tired and upset to drive myself right now".

As I asked this, I stole a glance at Edward and saw that he looked hurt.

Things were beginning to get much more confusing and complicated...Edward had just said that he left to keep me safe, not because he didn't love me...and now he looked hurt that I wanted to go home with Jacob.

A part of me was suddenly excited to think that he might actually still love me, but the larger part of me was sure that, in my fatigued state, I was reading much more into the situation than was there. Either way I was dead tired, I needed to separate Jake and Edward, and I needed to go home pronto.

I looked to Jacob and saw that he had a smug look on his face and was just staring at Edward, who in response growled menacingly. Jake was being _charming_ again, I'm sure.

"Come on Jake, if we don't get home before Charlie I'm in deep trouble"

"No worries Bells" Jacob said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder...more growling...and we headed back to the truck.

I turned to say goodbye, but the three beautiful silvery figures had already disappeared into the shadows of the forest. I was suddenly struck by the fact that I hadn't had a chance to talk to Jasper.

"Jasper!" I yelled, and suddenly he shot out of the forest to stand a few metres before us.

"What Bella? Are you ok?" He asked concerned.

I sprung from Jacob's hold and threw myself into Jaspers' arms "Please, forgive me for everything I did to your family!" I cried, hating the thought of what the events of last time I saw him must have put him through.

Jasper looked into my eyes with so much emotion and shook his head "You really are as magnificent as Edward says you are, aren't you Bella? I will forgive you, but only for the crime of punishing yourself for something that was never your fault. In return forgive me please for breaking your heart"

"But you didn't" I replied confused.

"Yes I did Bella, in one way or another it is _exactly_ what I did. I will see you soon...promise"

and with that he disappeared again into the night.

I walked back to Jake and the truck. He was simply shaking his head with a stern look on his face.

Once in the truck I let Jake have it "How dare you say those things to Edward! And do you think it made me feel good to be squabbled over like a possession? That was ludicrous and I won't tolerate it again"

"Sorry" he replied "And I know it won't happen again, because you won't be seeing the Cullen's again".

"I don't have a choice Jake, Alice and Edward go to my school!"

"So, you'll just have to take an extended holiday for a while"

"No Jake I'm sorry if it hurts you, but I love the Cullen's, they're like my family. I want to see them again!"

Jacob looked at me with utter disgust and it hurt so badly to see him look at me like that "You want to see them again...what is wrong with you Bella! Have you gone mental? They almost killed you and then practically left you for dead without saying goodbye...Edward ripped your heart out and is now doing a little dance over it and you still want to see them again!"

All of a sudden he went deadly calm and furiously serious...this was the Jacob I remembered from way back when he first discovered he was a werewolf... "It makes no difference anyway Bella, you're not allowed to see them and that's that."

"You can't stop me" I spat.

"Yes I can" Jacob warned.

"Then you're going to have to try your best" I continued "because I'm not going to stop seeing them just because you have a problem with them!"

"If you want to choose them over me, over us, then that's your choice...but it's the wrong one". Jacob said menacingly.

"Wait a minute" I cried, tears springing back to my eyes "You're saying I have to choose...them or you"

"Yes"

"And if I choose them you're just going to wash your hands of me?"

"You could put it that way yes"

"Well then....I guess you're no better than he is" I hurled at him.

Jacob clenched the steering wheel hard and the vein by his jaw flicked. I had hurt him with that comment and although I regretted it, I had to make him see what he was doing here.

"If that's the way you want to look at it, fine" he replied coldly "But only a fool would see it that way".

"Stop the car Jake" I insisted, but he just ignored me "STOP THE CAR!" I yelled.

Slowly Jake pulled over to the side of the road.

"You said to Edward in the forest that you were the one who never left me, who was always there for me. But now you're saying if I don't obey your rules you are going to abandon me?"

"Things are different now Bella" he said in a softer tone than before "It's not the same as simply 'being there' for you. Vampires are our enemy, they are dangerous, they are the one thing we were designed to kill. How can you possibly think we could allow you to continue to be friends with them?"

"I don't expect the others to understand Jake....just you..."

But the cold look had returned in his eyes "Well I don't understand Bella, and I don't want to. If you choose to keep in contact with them I can no longer guarantee your safety, Charlie's safety, the packs safety or even the town of Forks safety...so make your choice, but make sure it's the right one."

"I won't choose" I whispered "I can't do it"

"Then let me do it for you" Jake whispered in return, and in the blink of an eye he was gone.

I could just make out his figure running down the road before it shimmered and changed, blending in to the forest.

I sat in the car for a while, just staring through the rear-view mirror at the place where I last saw him, in shock that I had lost my best friend.

I wished so badly I could have chosen Jake, but it was a promise I wouldn't have been able to keep. I would have only let him down again, and I was sick of doing that.

I tried to keep my eyes focussed on the road he had just been on, but my vision become clouded and blurry as the tears began to overwhelm my sight. How had I ended up like this? Alone, empty, in pain. I had so much grieving to process. No one had died, yet I had so many goodbyes and losses to count.

I moved across into the driver's seat and started the engine, but didn't want to go home. I had an overwhelming desire to drive as fast and as far away from this place as possible. I was surrounded by century old battles and wars and was the only one without a friend or family in the middle of it beside me. Despite so many people in my life professing their desire to keep me safe and happy, all anyone had done was hurt me more than I thought possible and left me at the mercy of my own broken heart.

When I got home Charlie was still out, thank god. I didn't feel like having to explain why I'd been out so late and had come home crying.

I thought about calling Jake's place, but decided that I should let him think about what had happened for a little while. Jake is hot headed but reasonable, I just needed the reason to kick in.

I was just about to head to my room when Charlie came through the door looking absolutely shattered.

"Hard night?" I cringed.

He just stood at the bench in the kitchen rubbing the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"You need to stick close to home for a while Bella" He said finally. I raised my eyebrow in response.

"Remember those killings we had last year?" he offered as explanation "Well, looks like the killer's back."

"They've killed again? Here?" I asked in a panic...so Victoria was not only back, she was hunting in the area again! The confidence and boldness she was gaining made me shiver with fear. I tried to calm myself so that Charlie wouldn't see how terrified I was. "Sure dad, I promise I'll keep myself safe" I reassured him.

He looked so tired and sad. I crossed the room and placed my hand on his shoulder "Dad, I'm so sorry that this is happening...was the victim anyone you knew?"

"No, an out-of-towner here for a hunting trip" He paused, and then continued "This is serious Bella, don't go wandering around on your own...it's _very_ important" He looked me directly in the eyes with such overpowering emotion that I knew there was more to this story.

"Dad, what is it? You looked....well, you look terrified!"

"Ahhhh..." I could see Charlie was weighing up whether to tell me something or not "You see, it appears that the group of hunters the victim was here with disturbed the killers, so they didn't have time to cover their tracks...we didn't find just one set of foot prints leading away from the scene of the crime Bella..."

I looked at Charlie quizzically, and then all of a sudden what he was saying began to sink in..."There is more than one...?" I whispered.

"It appears so..." Charlie replied wearily, rubbing the bridge of his nose again. I saw a world of worry and responsibility on Charlie's shoulders, and knew exactly what he was feeling. If he in anyway felt responsible, it was nothing compared to how I felt at this precise moment.

But _two_ vampires....the weight of this took a while to sink in, and when it did it came crashing down on me with the coldest blast of terror I had felt since I was being stalked by James...Victoria was not alone...she had someone here to help her...

I heard someone gasping "oh my god, oh my god" and realised that someone was me.

My head started spinning, my body was shaking furiously and before I knew it I had crashed to the floor in shock and panic.

"Bella!" Charlie cried and raced to my crumpled mass on the kitchen floor "Honey, are you ok? Can you speak? Bella!"

"Dad" I croaked, bringing up my hand to touch his face "I'm sorry...it's been a really long day and I'm not feeling so well"

"Shall I call a doctor?" Charlie fretted...poor Charlie, he had so much on his plate, he didn't need a hysterical daughter added to the list.

"No, I'll be ok, I just need a minute...and some space" I tried to smile reassuringly at Charlie, but it probably came out more like a wince. Nevertheless he gave me some room and got me a glass of water.

"Bella, I really hate to do this to you, but I need to go back out...all our men are working round the clock on this one as you could imagine. I'll give Billy a call and get Jake to come..."

"NO!" I shouted out quickly, Charlie spun in my direction with a startled look on his face

"No?" he asked genuinely.

I looked down at my hands and muttered "Jake's not speaking to me at the moment"

"Well this is kind of important" Charlie said annoyed while striding to the phone "I'm sure he can get his head out of his...."

"Alice!" I cried out before Charlie had a chance to make the call "Alice could come here and stay with me...like a sleep over"

"Alice?" Charlie was incredulous "Firstly, I'm not sure if that's wise given recent events and secondly I doubt whether that slip of a thing could offer you any protection!"

"Please Dad, I _can't _go to La Push. I promise we'll stay indoors and ring you if there's even a slight smell of trouble...please trust me Dad, I'm more than safe with Alice"

Charlie stood there shaking his head "Don't let me regret this Bella" And as he dialled the phone he muttered "I must be crazy....Yes hello, Dr Cullen? It's Chief Swan here....good and you? ...Yes, nasty business that...Actually I have to go back out and.....That's actually why I called....That sounds good, but I'm a bit concerned.....oh well that makes it easier then....thanks Dr Cullen I appreciate it, have a pleasant evening" And he hung up the phone. "Pack a bag Bells, you're going to stay at the Cullen's tonight"

My mouth dropped open.

"And yes I'm well aware of what you're thinking, but it appears the boys have left this evening on a camping trip so at least _he _won't be there...It's not ideal I know Bella, but really....you and Alice here on your own, it's not exactly a scenario that calms a father's heart. And like you've said, the Cullen's are good people"

My mouth was still open.

"You'll be ok Bella, trust me. You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for" And he gave me a little hug.

A knock at the door signalled Alice's arrival, Charlie made some quick conversation and then headed out into the night again. Before he left he turned and bit his bottom lip...obviously second guessing his decision.

My mouth was _still_ open.

"Don't worry Charlie" Alice soothed "She's going to be perfectly fine, I'll make sure of that"

Charlie nodded, thanked Alice and gave me a wave that appeared to me to be more of an apology. Then he headed once more out into the night.

"Bella" Alice sang "I've already packed a big for you, it's in the car. Come on I can't wait to spend some time with you!"

"Alice...is this truly happening to me?" I huffed, she nodded her head smiling "What have I ever done to deserve this!" I exclaimed, half laughing, half serious, as she dragged me out of the house by my arm.

"Your just lucky I say" she laughed back "And if I really wanted to get a kick out of all of this, I could imagine what Charlie's face would look like if he were told Carlisle lied and that the boys are _very much_ at home tonight...."

"Not funny Alice!" I yelled getting into the car.

"Not joking Bella" she purred, and then floored the accelerator sending us flying down the street with no way of escaping out of the car.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** thanks for sticking with my story guys. I'm working to improve my grammar and punctuation, so any thoughts and comments about how my story is reading is wholeheartedly welcomed. Also, I kind of cut this chapter off at a certain point because I thought it was getting too long, so I know that this chapter may not be terribly exciting but hopefully you enjoy it anyway.

**End of Last Chapter:**

"_Bella" Alice sang "I've already packed a bag for you, it's in the car. Come on I can't wait to spend some time with you!"_

"_Alice...is this truly happening to me?" I huffed, she nodded her head smiling "What have I ever done to deserve this!" I exclaimed, half laughing, half serious, as she dragged me out of the house by my arm._

"_Your just lucky I say" she laughed back "And if I really wanted to get a kick out of all of this, I could imagine what Charlie's face would look like if he were told Carlisle lied and that the boys are very much at home tonight...."_

"_Not funny Alice!" I yelled getting into the car._

"_Not joking Bella" she purred, and then floored the accelerator sending us flying down the street with no way of escaping out of the car._

Chapter Five

I was furious!

I sulked silently, staring straight ahead without focussing on anything in particular for most of the car ride to the Cullen's.

My jaw ached from how tightly I was clenching it firmly shut, and I was beginning to develop a headache from how dramatically my brow was furrowed in anger. I clamped my crossed arms even tighter to my chest and pushed out a large sigh that was as close as I could impersonate to a growl.

If Alice noticed my display of defiance and annoyance she didn't seem fazed by any of it. She simply kept chattering away about how exciting it was that I was coming to stay and how we should do it more often.

I couldn't take it anymore. I was sick of trying nonverbally to tell her how absolutely livid I was for tricking both me and Charlie into entering the Lion's den.

"Alice" I finally asked, breaking my stoic silence "Have you not picked up on the fact that I'm really _really_ mad at you?"

Her lips curled up slightly into a sly smile that she was trying to hide and she glanced at me quickly out of the corner of her eye.

"Yes" she replied, unable to hold the smile back any longer and grinning from ear to ear "I was just waiting for those little storm clouds that had gathered over your head to blow away".

"I'm glad to see it amuses you Alice" I said sarcastically "At least someone is able to benefit from my torture"

"Oh come on Bella" Alice replied laughing "Is it really so bad to be around people who love you and have missed you tremendously? Esme and Carlisle are beside themselves with excitement to see you! Emmett and Jasper too."

She stopped there and it was completely obvious that there were two people missing from that list.

"But not Rosalie and Edward" I continued for her "and that's why I'm so angry with this whole turn of events"

"Don't mind Rosalie" Alice tried to comfort me "She's never been good at making friends with other females and human females are even trickier"

"It's not Rosalie that I'm worried about Alice and you know it" I paused, uncertain of how I was going to broach the subject and then continued "I don't know how I'm going to cope with being around Edward like this"

"Like what?" Alice asked gently.

"Spending time with him when there are no distractions, no fights or escape hatches. I don't know how to explain it Alice, but the whole idea just seems so....masochistic"

"Look Bella" Alice said seriously "It's not my place to talk about what has transpired between you and Edward. All I will say is that if at any point you feel like it's too much to handle let me know and I'll make sure I do everything I can to fix it. Ok?"

"Thanks Alice" I said, taking her free hand and giving it a little squeeze.

And with perfect timing there it was. The Cullen's house in all its glory.

It appeared to me both magnificent and surreal. I had almost forgotten how beautiful this house was and I had definitely tried to forget how much it felt like home. But looking at it now, and knowing that I was about to enter its warmth, I was flooded with the memories of what this house meant to me.

It was the one place where I didn't have to hide what I knew or felt, it was the safest place in the world to me...and it was the place where I had locked my heart up 5 months ago and swore to myself I would never, could never, return.

My eyes literally stung with the tears that began to form.

"Bella?" Alice whispered, concerned "Your crying...what's wrong, should I take you home?"

"Home" I sighed "That's the problem Alice. I didn't realise how homeless I have felt until I saw this place again."

I turned to her with a pleading look in my eyes "Can I do this without completely falling apart? Can I come back here and feel the acceptance and love from your family and still be able to breathe when you leave again?"

"Oh Bella" Alice cried taking my hands into hers "I swear that no matter what happens, history will not repeat itself. At a bare _minimum_ I can promise you that I will always be in your life and there will always be a light on in this house for you. Do you trust me?"

"Yes Alice I do" I replied meekly, and opened the car door.

I didn't realise how much the day's events had battered my body until I tried to stand up. The weight of my bulk seemed too much for my weary legs as they shuddered and shook. I swayed violently from side to side until Alice came gently beside me and offered her support by draping my arm over her shoulder. We walked like that to the entrance and I could see that the door was already open.

From the brilliant light of the house emerged two stunning and graceful creatures, looking just as exquisite as the last time I saw them.

Esme left Carlisle's side to approach me first and pulled me to her in a gentle embrace. She stroked my hair and then softly kissed the top of my head.

"Welcome home Bella" she sang "I cannot find the words to describe how much we have missed you and what exactly it feels like to see you again! All I can say is I'm sorry and I love you"

"I've missed you too Esme" I whispered in return.

She pulled back so that she could look at my face and I saw the depth of her emotions for me.

"I'm sorry for what we put you through Bella, it utterly breaks my heart to think of the pain our actions have caused you" Esme continued, wiping tears away from my face that I was not aware I was shedding.

"None of this is your fault Esme! If I hadn't been so clumsy, so frail..." I began, but the exhaustion I was fighting so hard to banish finally took complete control over me. I leaned into her and sank into an ocean of tears.

"Oh Bella" Carlisle sighed, picking me up in his arms and carrying me inside "You look absolutely exhausted, I think you need to get some sleep"

"No yet please" I croaked, my voice thick with fatigue "I just got here. Can't we talk for a little while longer?"

"Whatever you want Bella" Carlisle said as he placed me on the couch in the living room. He crouched down to eye level and looked at me with great concern. "You don't look very well. You're much thinner than you used to be and it doesn't look like you've been getting much sleep"

"I'm ok Carlisle, honestly"

He simply gave me a disbelieving smile and said "It is so good to have you back with us Bella, despite the unfavourable circumstances"

"Couldn't keep away huh!" Emmett boomed as he entered the room "And I see you even played the swooning card to get Carlisle to pick you up....one vampire manhandling not enough for you tonight?"

"Emmett!" Esme shot at him and he just gave us all a throaty laugh in return.

Rosalie was standing rigidly beside him trying to look neutral, but I could tell she wasn't pleased in the slightest to see me. Unbelievably this didn't bother me much at all. She had never liked me and had made that completely obvious in the past. It was actually an _improvement _that she was attempting to hide her disdain from me.

"Hello Bella" she said politely "Nice to see you again"

"And you Rosalie" I replied as courtesy.

Jasper glided into the room to stand beside Alice. "I told you I would see you soon" he smiled.

"I didn't doubt you for a second" I replied warmly.

Emmett immediately launched into an over-exaggerated tale of our reunion in the forest for the others, complete with re-enactments of what I looked like hurtling through the forest and tall tales of inappropriate hand placements from me when being rescued.

As I watched everyone joke and talk with each other I thought about how being here felt so much easier than I imagined it would, and all my anger at being tricked into coming faded away.

Alice looked at me with a wink and I realised that she had already seen this. She knew from the start that I would feel this love and security and I mouthed the words 'thank you' to her silently.

She danced over to sit by me and whispered in my ear "You are always welcome" then draped her arm around my shoulders.

I looked around the room at everyone laughing and shouting at each other, such a beautiful family scene, and it was not lost on me that Edward was not here. Part of me was relieved that Edward was absent. I wanted to be able to sink into the deliciousness of this moment with none of the bitter taste I got when thinking of him and what happened between us.

But if I had to be honest with myself, a larger part of me was disappointed he was not here with us. Despite the pain it caused me when I felt the longing to be in his arms and to be loved by him, it was also such tender sweetness to be able to breathe in his scent and to see his beauty with my eyes, not only conjured in my imagination.

It also felt like this wonderful reunion was not complete without him and I thought sadly that so much of my life was not complete without him. Shaking my head to clear such thoughts, I knew I really ought to try and endure the incompleteness and maybe one day overcome it, because this was what it was going to be like for the rest of my life.

"Where's Edward?" I whispered in Alice's ear while the others were engrossed in conversation "I feel awful he felt he had to stay away from home because of me"

Alice cringed at this and slowly said "He's been out trying to track the scent found in the forest again. He actually doesn't know your here"

My eyes widened and I gasped "He doesn't know I'm here. But how is he going to react..."

"We'll take care of it Bella" Alice reassured me "I'm positive he would rather you here safe than home alone or staying at that dog kennel you call La Push"

I knew she was right, but I also couldn't stop the pain in my heart when I realised he had no part in bringing me back here. I had secretly held out hope that he had orchestrated this, that he had wanted me to come to his house and to see me again. I should have known better.

A wave of exhaustion enveloped me and I leaned into Alice's shoulder, closing my eyes for what I thought were only a few seconds. However, when I opened them again I was now lying down on the couch under a blanket and resting on a pillow.

Everyone was sitting around the table at the far end of the room and I saw that Edward was now sitting with them. He looked magnificent relaxing comfortably on the chair; his long legs stretching out in front of him, one arm behind his head while the other rested on his lap. I made no sound because, like this morning when I saw him at school, I wanted to be able to look at him for a while without fear of embarrassment.

"I don't think you understand me Rosalie" he said in a quiet tone "It just disappeared. It didn't fade and I didn't lose it, it simply vanished"

_What were they talking about?_

"So" Carlisle asked, looking for clarification "even the scent you _originally_ found in the forest was gone"

"Yes" Edward confirmed "It's like someone erased it."

"How can someone erase a scent Edward" Rosalie bit.

"I don't know, it doesn't make any sense" Edward replied, leaning forward with a confused expression on his face "there's more though. It almost seemed like the scent was still there. I can't describe it, but the smell seemed to come and go a little as if I was unable to pick it up properly"

"_Is_ it possible that someone else has come while we were away and erased it somehow?" Esme asked.

"If that had happened there would have been that vampire's scent there instead" Carlisle replied "I can see Edward's confusion. It doesn't make sense for a scent to simply disappear when it was there only a few minutes ago. And if the scent seems to come and go, then it appears there is more going on here than we know about"

"And then there is the problem of Alice's visions" Edward continued.

"I can't explain it" Alice elaborated "We know that I am unable to see when werewolves are involved, but this is something entirely different. Sometimes it feels like I get snippets of a scene and then abruptly they are gone; too quickly to make out what it was I was seeing. The easiest way I can describe it is as if I am watching a movie and then the movie stops suddenly"

"Interesting" Carlisle added "I wonder where and how this second vampire comes into it. If Victoria is not alone, then perhaps her company is responsible for these mysteries"

I watched Edward rubbing his fingers across his lips, deep in thought.

Then he suddenly turned and looked straight at me "Bella, your awake?"

All eyes turned to me and everyone looked so concerned.

"Bella" Carlisle said gently as he got up to walk over to me "You really should get back to sleep. You still look exhausted. We will take our discussion somewhere else"

"No Carlisle, I want to know what's going on"

I looked to Edward and he rose from the table, coming to take the seat opposite the couch.

"There's not much to say Bella" He explained and I relished the sound of my name on his lips "I was trying to track the scent we found earlier in the forest, but it appears it has gone"

"And that's unusual?" I asked

"We don't know why it's simply vanished" Alice continued for Edward coming to sit beside me "and my visions have been strange, but I'm sure it's nothing"

"I'm involved" I said bitterly, looking down at my fidgeting hands "of course it's something. It's always complicated when I'm involved remember" I stole a glance at Edward. He looked sadly at me and then quickly looked away.

"Well its nothing you need to worry about" Emmett reassured me "We're on to it kiddo. Now go be human and sleep!"

I opened my mouth to argue, but instead a humungous yawn seeped out and everyone laughed.

"Maybe just a little more rest" I chuckled and lay back down on the couch.

It was early morning when I awoke again and the room looked blue from the emerging light of the new day. My eyes opened wide with shock and I sat up with a start when I realised Edward was sitting right by me, watching me.

He stood up immediately, looking embarrassed and muttered something that I couldn't make out, but which sounding like he was telling himself off, as he turned to walk away.

"Wait" I cried out.

When he turned back to face me I realised I didn't have anything to say. I shook my head and simply mumbled "What were you doing here?"

His face looked so pained, then his expression relaxed and I could see he was trying to return his cold mask to his features "You were having nightmares. I just came down to check and see if you were ok. Sorry if I frightened you" He said coldly.

"You didn't" I replied sadly. He hadn't frightened me at all. He had actually given me a fleeting glance at hope.

"Good." He simply said and then turned to walk out of the room.

"Edward?" I called after him. He stopped, but didn't turn around

"Yes?" He replied.

"Are you angry that I'm here? "

He sighed. I wished I could see his face to read his reaction but he kept his back to me. His body seemed to slump a little.

"Don't worry about me Bella, we are all just doing what we need to in order to survive this" He said quietly and then left the room.

Alice was beside me in a flash, before I could ponder further on what Edward had meant by that last statement.

"I've already called Charlie and told him all is well. He's expecting Edward and the others back from their camping trip in a few minutes so we better get you home"

"But what about school" I asked.

"We decided maybe you should take the day off. You and I could..."

"I want to go to school Alice" I interrupted.

"Why?" She asked confused "You don't have to. Charlie agreed that..."

"What else will I do Alice" I cried out "Sit around and feel useless and scared? I feel out of place everywhere at the moment apart from school. Believe it or not school is the one place I can pretend I actually belong. I want to go please"

Alice let out a sigh that moved her whole body and finally said "Fine then. I'll get the phone so you can call Charlie and let him know what you're doing"

"Hey Dad" I said cheerily into the phone "How are things going?"

"Ok" Charlie replied and I could hear the fatigue in his voice. I doubt that he got much sleep last night either "Nothing else has turned up but we're still hopeful. So how was last night?"

He was trying to sound nonchalant but I could hear the curiosity in his voice.

"It was really truly nice dad" I answered.

"Alice told me she would bring you home soon."

"Actually, since I brought a bag with me I thought I would just go to school from here if that's ok" I suggested.

"But!" Charlie began, but then obviously changed his mind "Whatever you want Bells. Let me know if you need anything. I'll be around the house for a few hours yet"

"No worries dad. See you after school"

I hadn't given much consideration to everyone's reaction to me turning up to school with Edward and Alice, but as we entered the parking lot I began to get nervous. After how I reacted to Edward in class yesterday it was going to seem absurd that I got a ride to school with him. How on earth was I going to explain this away?

As we parked, I could see someone admiring Edward's car. I craned my head so I could see who it was through the backseat window and noticed that Logan was looking intently at every inch of the Volvo. Edward got out and I saw an immense red flush seep over Logan's face as he blushed violently. He really was the male version of me!

"Um, nice car" he stuttered.

"Yes it is" Edward replied rudely.

I could see a look of utter embarrassment and rejection flood Logan's features and this angered me instantly. Edward had no right to make Logan feel that way. He didn't even know him. I sprung out of the car and walked around to where Logan was standing.

"Good morning Logan, how are you?" I chirped.

He looked at me, then at Edward, then back at me with a huge smile on his face.

"Not as good as I see you are this morning" he whispered in my ear.

"It's not like that Logan" I whispered in reply quickly and could see from the corner of my eye Edward had cocked his head slightly to listen in to our conversation "Alice was supposed to give me a ride today. Believe me, none of this was my idea!"

Logan leaned even closer to me and said "I sense an interesting story here".

He was smiling from ear to ear and I felt myself smiling in return.

"Oh Logan, you have _no_ idea" I replied and at that we both started to laugh.

"Bella, we need to get to class. We're going to be late" Edward barked at me. I looked at him with disbelief and confusion. Why all of a sudden did he care about being late for class, and more importantly exactly when had Edward and I turned into a 'we'?

Logan raised an eyebrow and shot me another warm smile. Squeezing my shoulder he whispered in my ear "I'll see you soon in class, can't wait to hear your story!"

I smiled in return, gave him a look that said 'Oh dear, here I go' and walked over to where Edward stood said our goodbyes to Alice and began the walk to class.

"What was that all about?" I spat under my breath.

While we walked I noticed almost everyone turning to stare at us and whisper behind their hands. If only I could go for a few months without being the talk of the school I would be happy.

"Nothing" Edward grumbled.

"Don't give me nothing" I provoked, entering the classroom after Edward "You were extremely rude to Logan and you haven't even met him yet"

Edward sat down abruptly at his desk, banging his books hard against the desk.

"Exactly" Edward answered "Why should I be nice to someone I don't even know. It's not like I'm known here for being overly friendly, so don't you think it would raise suspicion if I started fawning all over the new guy?"

"Nice excuse" I muttered as I took my seat.

"I don't need to explain myself to you" Edward snarled.

I looked at him with shock and hurt. He didn't need to be so cruel! I began to wish he would return to being cold blank Edward because cruel Edward was much much worse.

"I'm sorry Bella" Edward offered quickly as he saw my expression "And you're right, there is absolutely no reason for me to not like Logan. From what I can make out he's a very nice boy"

"But you don't like him?" I asked in a hushed tone.

"No" he replied even more quietly. He then looked down at his hands while rearranging his soft, beautiful face back into the cold hard mask he seemed to prefer lately and then turned to face the front of the class.

We sat for the rest of class in silence. I didn't even bother to look at Edward again. It was too confusing to see the play of emotions across his face, and if this morning had taught me anything it was that false hope can provide more pain than no hope at all. For a few small moments I had thought Edward might have still loved me, but given every opportunity to show me, or even hint to me, that there was something still in his heart he had chosen to treat me with dismissal.

The only explanation that made sense of his flashes of gentleness towards me was what I knew of his sense of responsibility and chivalry. He had returned to Forks out of feelings of guilt and responsibility and now here he was experiencing great discomfort and unease at being forced to interact with me. It hurt me that he was hurting because of this. What had he said this morning...._we are all just doing what we need to in order to survive this_.

I realised how selfish I had been by not thinking about the impact this had all had on Edward. He didn't love me and had moved on with his life, only to be called back by his ridiculous sense of responsibility and guilt to be somewhere he didn't want to be looking after someone he didn't want to be around.

I decided that I would make things easier for him. I needed to distance myself from him so that he no longer felt the guilt or discomfort of being close to me. When the time came for him to leave again it would be easier on both of us this time. Despite him no longer loving me, loving him was all I knew how to do and if that meant I had to do something that ripped my heart out and killed all my hope to ease his pain and discomfort then I would do that for him. For everything he had given me in the past and for all that he had given up in the present, I owed him that at least. I would let him protect me, let him stop Victoria and then let him finally be free of me. I was the sacrificial lamb.

As we walked to our next class together, I gently reached out and touched his arm in a gesture to pause to talk. It felt wonderful. Cold, hard and so familiar. I pushed those feelings aside and looked him straight in the eye with a confident and determined look.

"Edward, if you don't mind I would rather you didn't sit with me in class anymore"

Silence.

"Oh" he replied, shocked "If that's what you want?"

_Of course it's not!!!_ My head was screaming, but my outward appearance gave none of this away.

"Yes thank you" I confirmed and then strode ahead of him before I lost my nerve.

I may have lost my heart, my happiness and my future, but at least I had my nerve.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Hey guys. This chapter kind of wrote itself and ended up in places I hadn't originally intended, but hopefully you like it. Let me know if you have any concerns or suggestions regarding my story 

**End of Last Chapter: **

"_Edward, if you don't mind I would rather you didn't sit with me in class anymore"_

_Silence._

"_Oh" he replied, shocked "If that's what you want?"_

_Of course it's not!!! My head was screaming, but my outward appearance gave none of this away. _

"_Yes thank you" I confirmed and then strode ahead of him before I lost my nerve. _

_I may have lost my heart, my happiness and my future, but at least I had my nerve._

Chapter 6

Edward respected my wishes and sat well away from me in the next class.

I stared straight ahead and tried to concentrate on the teacher, but my mind was heavy and clouded with the rush of thoughts invading it.

I could scarcely comprehend how my entire world had been turned upside down in the space of one small little day. Edward had returned, I was been hunted by two vampires and I had lost my best friend.

As my thoughts turned to Jacob my stomach heaved in pain. How could he just turn his back on me like that after everything we had been through? He must know how much I needed him desperately right now, yet he had abandoned me.

I understood why he had reacted the way he did, but understanding didn't stop the hurt and rejection that flooded me. On top of that, I also felt the dull weight of guilt because I too had hurt and rejected Jacob just as much last night by not choosing him. He had done nothing in the past but be there for me and offer love and support that I probably didn't deserve. When the time came for me to repay him for all that he had brought into my life I had let him down.

I vowed to call him after school to try and fix our friendship. Perhaps things would be easier now that I had put some distance between Edward and myself.

He would be here long after the Cullen's left again and I owed it to him, and myself, to fight for our relationship. I knew I would always need Jacob in my life and, although it was terribly selfish of me, I didn't think I could live through Edward leaving again without Jacob to lift me back into the light.

But would it make any difference? Would Jacob be able to save me from myself after I watched Edward slip away again, this time having an equal hand in the separation?

I put my head into my hands and felt the smallness of my existence wrap around me.

The enormity of what was unfolding around me, and how fragile and helpless I was, began to seethe its way into my thoughts. My confidence in my abilities to cope faded as I sunk into the shadows of solitude. The fight to keep my head above water becoming both overwhelming and pointless.

For the first time since I came to Forks I was truly afraid. Not of what could happen to me, but of not having the energy or strength to try to stop it.

The teacher, Mr Dohl, assigned the class a task to complete, then slunk over to where I was sitting. Nervously he looked around to make sure no one was paying attention and then muttered quietly to me "Ms Swan, if you don't mind could you please grab your bag and follow me out into the hallway".

I sat there in shock and looked to see the reactions of the other students, but everyone was engrossed in the task at hand.

Everyone except Edward, who sat there with his head in his hands and his body slumped over the desk. If I didn't know better I would have thought he was crying. He drew himself up slightly, but kept his chin and mouth cradled in his hands as if in shock or pain. The look on his face was horrifying.

What was going on?

As we maintained eye contact, I widened my eyes at Edward as if to ask him what the teacher was thinking. He simply closed his eyes, shook his head and mouthed the words 'I'm so sorry' before returning his face to his hands.

Slowly I got up and followed the teacher out of the room into the hallway.

Once out into the corridor I started to panic

"What's wrong Mr Dohl, has something happened to Charlie?" I asked, my voice beginning to rise and shake. What picture could have been in his mind to cause Edward so much distress?

"No, Bella, it's nothing like that" he reassured me.

"Is this about yesterday when I left your lesson without asking permission?" I continued "because I am truly sorry for disrupting your class like that and...."

"No Bella, it's not about that either. You see...." and he paused nervously.

I could see what he was about to say made him feel extremely uncomfortable and I was utterly confused as to what this could be all about.

"We here at Forks high school like to consider ourselves as a caring community, looking out for each other" He began.

"Uh huh" I said hesitantly, not really looking forward to where this was going.

"Because it is such a small and close-knit community, we try to keep aware of any issues or problems that may be affecting our students."

I nodded, swallowing loudly.

"I am aware that Chief Swan, your father, has been going through a particular stressful time in the last few days pulling some long shifts with the return of the unpleasant situation we had last year. I'm also aware that you have had your own fair share of....complications...."

I cut him off there "Thanks for your concern, Mr Dohl, but I really am fine" feeling the blush stain my cheeks hot and scarlet.

"No you're not fine, Bella" He replied with concern "Normally we are happy to let students sort out their problems in their own time, but I am frankly quite worried about you. Your behaviour yesterday was extremely out of character for you and..." another pause while he fidgeted nervously with his hands "and well, I haven't seen you look like you do today for many months now."

"Look?" I questioned, squinting my eyes.

Mr Dohl nodded slowly "The same look as when you weren't feeling very well after you were found in the woods all those months ago. But frankly, I have to admit that this time you actually look worse"

I was mortified. The teaching staff talked about me? They talked about my private life? They talked about what a mess I was?

"You may not think we notice or care Bella, but we do. I don't want to see you go down the same path again as you did recently. You're a promising student and we all want you to achieve to the best of your abilities, especially in this crucial final year. The reason I called you out of class today is that I think that perhaps you need an early weekend. Take the rest of the day off, and come back on Monday with some rest and recuperation under your belt".

I shook my head and began to argue with Mr Dohl when he interrupted me before I had a chance "Bella, please don't be offended when I tell you that you seem to be in as much, if not more, distress as before and I strongly recommend you take some time to deal with your issues before they become major problems again".

Shocked and embarrassed, I stared at Mr Dohl speechless.

Then the realisation hit me that he was right.

If I didn't try and sort things out in my head right now I knew exactly where I was heading...lying in bed till 4 in the afternoon, crying and wishing that when I woke the rest of the world would have simply melted away while my eyes were closed.

"Maybe your right Mr Dohl" I resigned.

He heaved a sigh of relief "I'm sorry if this discussion has made you feel uncomfortable Bella and like I said we normally leave the students to sort out this kind of thing in their own time, but with Chief Swan being under so much pressure at the moment I figured it couldn't hurt to try and ease the burden a little. I'll inform the office that I've given you the rest of the day off, so you are free to handle this situation in the best way you see fit. May I suggest stopping in to the counsellor's office on the way...."

"Thanks Mr Dohl" I interjected "I appreciate the concern and the offer. And I'll see you on Monday"

"Take care Bella" he muttered and then sprinted back into class, fleeing from the scary hormonal teenage girl and her problems.

As I walked down the hall I suddenly realised why Edward had looked so sick and sad...he had heard Mr Dohl's thoughts about not only my current state of mind, but of my previous mental breakdown. I knew he must be feeling guilty and responsible for my emotional state.

Poor Edward, as much as I tried to make this easier on him I couldn't shelter him from the thoughts of others. My only response, I thought, was to put on the best show I could muster from now on to make him think that I was feeling better. How on earth was I going to do that?

As I headed out of the building Alice was suddenly by my side

"What are you doing here Alice?" I asked flatly, not because I held any ill feelings for Alice but because my energy was draining by the second and I was beginning to feel strangely surreal about the whole situation.

"I saw you" She replied, tapping her head "and wondered if you needed me to do anything? Talk? Listen? Shopping?" she tried to smile to lighten the mood, but her concern dragged her features down and she came across looking like she'd just smelt something really awful. I chuckled a little at that and it seemed to ease Alice's features.

"If you don't mind Alice" I replied carefully "I just want to be by myself for a while. It's not that I don't want you around, it's just that I need some space and time to think"

"Of course" she smiled, but I could see she was hurt "Just call if you need anything ok?"

"Ok" I replied and then walked away.

With every step I felt smaller and smaller and wondered if I kept on walking would I just all of a sudden vanish?

Vanishing actually sounded nice.

I decided to take a walk into the forest area just beyond the school grounds. There were some nice quiet areas there where I could sit and think about everything.

As I walked, I tried to pay attention to the trees and wildlife to appreciate the beauty of it all, but it just seemed like my whole world was getting darker and darker, fading to desolate blackness.

Just as I thought I had found the perfect secluded spot to sink into my loneliness, I saw a figure sitting on the forest floor.

Panicked and suddenly on edge, I crept to the side to get a better look at who was there, all the while chastising myself for being a complete idiot again and forgetting that there were at least two deadly vampires lurking around town waiting for the perfect moment to torture me to death.

Peering past a large tree and zeroing in on the lonely figure, I suddenly felt all my tension and fear dissipate.

"Logan!" I shouted "What on earth are you doing out here!"

"Bella" He shouted back in return, obviously startled by my sudden entrance "I could ask you the same thing!"

As he hurriedly stood up, I noticed that he tried to discreetly wipe his eyes with his fingers....he had been crying!

"Logan are you ok?" I asked with concern. Why would Logan be out in the woods alone and crying. As soon as I thought that I stifled a smile...that was exactly what I had come out here to do!

"Yeah, sure" Logan said in an upbeat tone, but as we locked eyes I could tell he knew his game had been given away "Well...maybe not so ok, but look who's talking!"

He managed a laugh on that last one and I laughed back. What a pair we were!

I plonked myself down on the grass beside him and patted the ground as an invitation for him to do the same.

He sat down with no hesitation and for a while we just stayed like that. Staring straight ahead and not saying anything.

"So" I finally started "Do you feel like talking about it?"

Logan closed his eyes and opened his mouth. I could tell he was trying to find words that would not come and I could see the pain etched across his features. Whatever Logan had come out here to think about was obviously very serious. I didn't want to push him to talk if he didn't want to. I hardly knew him after all.

"You don't have to if you don't want to" I said, but as he opened his eyes to look at me I felt an enormous thread reach out between us, binding us in this moment together. Somehow, for some reason, we were connected.

"I do want to talk about it Bella I really do. It would be nice to share with someone, but I just don't know where to start"

"Anywhere you like, I've got all day" I smiled.

"Ok, so...

...I miss my mom" Logan blurted out.

I had to laugh at that, and thankfully Logan laughed along with me.

"I know, sounds really manly huh" He chuckled.

"You could say that" I agreed "But I can relate, I miss mine too. So where is your mom?"

The smile gradually faded from his face and he stared solemnly off into the distance.

I suddenly pieced the puzzle together. He had moved recently to live with his sister, he was out here crying in the woods, and he missed his mom...

"Oh my god Logan" I blurted out, horrified at myself as I realised what was going on "I'm so sorry, is she...."

"It's ok Bella" he said "Yeah, she died a few weeks ago. Breast cancer. She was in a lot of pain towards the end and so everyone keeps telling me that it was probably for the best. That she no longer has to suffer in pain"

I looked down at my hands...my useless, weak and fragile hands, and wished so badly there was something I could do to comfort Logan.

He began to weep quietly "I just miss her so much. She was basically all I had in this world"

I took his hands into my own and held them tightly.

Logan began to unravel the story of how he came to be here, both to Forks and also to the forest in the middle of the school day crying into the nothingness.

"My sister is quite a bit older than me, thirteen years actually, so it's been just me and mom at home for quite some time now. Dad left us four years ago. He is a concert roadie, that's where I get my love of music from, but it means he's away for more months in the year than he's home. It was too much for their marriage and they ended up divorcing. That was really hard because despite everything they still really loved each other but couldn't make it work. About two years ago mom got the diagnosis. At first we were really confident, the doctors thought she had caught it early and initially the cancer responded really well to treatment. But then the treatment stopped working as well as it had and finally it stopped working altogether. She just got sicker and sicker until one day...well, one day she simply told me she was tired, closed her eyes and went to sleep...

and never woke up"

My heart shattered with the enormity of what he had gone through. He looked so lost, so lonely and so frightened.

And on some level I could understand what he felt right now. The powerlessness of losing a loved one, the sense of a lack of closure, the enormous hole created in our hearts that could never be filled. I knew our stories couldn't be more different, but it perhaps helped explain why he and I felt so connected to each other. Maybe our hearts recognised the broken beat of one another's.

His voice was wavering, but he continued "The thing that sucks so badly Bella is that I feel like she let me down. She was so confident that she could beat it. She kept the truth of how sick she was getting from everyone including myself. She actually promised me that she wouldn't die...she _promised_ me. I'm not a fool, I know it was not her choice or in her power to break that promise and I know whatever she said was to protect me, but at the end of the day she left me with no warning and I was completely alone. It was as if someone had snuck up behind me and turned off the light and I was plunged into darkness with no path through it. She didn't have time to make any plans for me in the event of her death, and we never got to say a proper goodbye."

Logan looked at me with tears streaking down his face, the gravity of his grief displayed across his features.

"She let me down because she didn't give me the chance or the choice to face this with her. She let me down because she didn't trust me or have faith in me enough to think I could handle what was happening. She let me down because by trying to protect me she only left me more vulnerable and broken"

His voice trailed off as he was drawn deep into this own thoughts and memories.

After a while he shook his head and said "You must think I'm a terrible person for feeling that way about my mother"

"Believe it or not Logan" I replied, shuffling closer to him and putting my arm around his shoulder "In my own insignificant way, I completely understand how you feel"

And I did. I knew it was not the same, but everything he said stung as I thought about how I had felt when Edward left me.

He leaned his head on my shoulder and with a sigh I felt his body relax. I felt grateful that I was able to offer him some release from his caged thoughts.

"Have you tried talking to your sister about things?" I asked.

Logan sat back up and sighed wearily "No, she's a real mess at the moment. She and mom hadn't seen much of each other in the last five or six years. Not because of anything like a fight" he replied almost defensively, turning to face me "but because my sister, Lisa, was busy leading her own life. They were just really bad at keeping in touch. Because mom was so secretive about her illness Lisa had no idea how sick she really was until it was too late. Mom's death hit her really hard. At the moment Lisa doesn't really leave her bedroom. Every now and then she'll have a good day, but to be honest since I've been here I've only seen her leave the house once. I think she may have even quit her job, but I'm not too sure because she doesn't really talk to me. I didn't have anywhere else to go though because my dad is over in Europe touring, so I had to come here....to tell you the truth I'm not 100% sure she even knows I'm here"

"Logan, I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been going through!" I said with tears in my own eyes "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"You've already done it Bella" he said with a shrug "You're my friend and you listened to me. What can I say" he added with a twinkle in his eye "I'm an easy man to please"

I gave him a playful push and he faked injury on the grass. We both started laughing, but then all of a sudden his smile faded and he sat bolt upright

"What is it Logan?" I asked terrified.

"I just remembered I wasn't the only one howling into the wind out here" he replied "What brings you out here sobbing into the greenery?"

"No way am I telling you, you'd think I was pathetic" I muttered.

"Yeah, because unless your mom is dead and your sister is catatonic you don't rate in my books" Logan said with a smile "Come on Bella, my story is pretty extreme I know, but it hasn't killed my compassion or capacity to care for others. Tell me please?"

"I....I think I might be losing it again" I admitted.

"Again?" Logan prodded.

"Well, when Edward left me five months ago, I sort of unravelled. I came apart and for what seemed like an eternity I swam in an ocean of numbness and nothingness. But then I met my friend Jacob, who lives on the Quilett reserve, and he really helped me get through things. Being around him was so releasing, I actually felt myself begin to laugh and enjoy things again. You remind me a lot of him" I added and smiled as I saw Logan blush scarlet "Anyway, last night Jacob and I had a huge fight and he asked me to promise never to see the Cullen's again. That I had to choose between him or them"

At this Logan raised an eyebrow "And you arriving in Edward's car this morning indicates..."

"It indicates that I couldn't choose between Jacob or the Cullen's, so Jacob chose for me and has severed all ties with me. So I've lost my best friend. And to add insult to injury, I realised today that Edward is in great pain just being around me. I know he feels really protective of me because he hurt me so badly, but at the same time doesn't want to be around me because he doesn't love me. I hate that he feels such an obligation and because I still love him so much it repulses me to think I am causing him so much discomfort. So this morning I decided that I would force him to keep his distance from me in order to shelter him from his unreasonable sense of duty and responsibility"

Logan just shook his head "So you hurt yourself in order to make it easier on someone else. You are the nicest, most selfless person I've ever met Bella"

"Not really" I said sadly "Everything Edward is going through is my fault to begin with"

"I doubt that's true" Logan replied seriously

"You have absolutely no idea Logan" I replied, never speaking more truth than right now.

There was a silence between us for a few moments until Logan blew out a long gust of breath and finally spoke.

"It's not fair what you've been through Bella. It seems like your always being placed at the sharp end of someone else's problem"

I looked at him about to refute that, but his stern look silenced me immediately

"Don't try to tell me how this is all your fault again Bella because I think you've said that enough times already and from the way you say it I also know that you _think_ it way too much! I feel like I get you Bella, and I like to think I can trust my instincts as they've never let me down before. You are a good heart with a kind soul. Sorry to use a cliché, but the way I see it is this: Like moths to a flame, you attract others to your brilliance. When they get burnt by your heat, you blame yourself instead of accepting that they are the ones who acted upon you and not the other way around. You didn't burn them, they burnt themselves. You owe these two guys nothing Bella and you need to sit back and wait until they come grovelling to you with a damn fine apology"

Logan looked at me and I could do nothing but stare at him with my eyes wide and my mouth slightly gaping. It felt different, weird, to have someone say such things to me, but at the same time it felt wonderful and empowering, like a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders and thrown away.

It was liberating to feel the lightness of human closeness and connection, with none of the supernatural battles or concerns. I was simply what I was to Logan – a human girl instead of being the focal figure in some mythical story - and he still saw me as something special.

I threw myself into his arms and hugged him hard.

"Thank you Logan" I said through my tears "That was just what I needed to hear. Thank you so much"

"Careful now" Logan said pulling away "You don't want to be responsible for another moth fatality do you?" He said shyly and then blushed again.

I thought about how much we had shared together in the past hour, almost complete strangers yet closer to each other than we were to anyone else in our lives at this moment. Although I could not fathom ever being with anyone again, it did make me wonder where this friendship could go in time. He was undoubtedly very handsome and I felt so eerily connected to him. It wasn't an impossibility that this could perhaps one day lead to something else...

I quickly chastised myself for thinking like that. As if Logan needed all the baggage, not to mention the large danger magnet, I lugged around with me. And he definitely didn't deserve to be second best to anyone, he was far too special for that.

"Bella?" Logan asked concerned and I looked up to see a scared expression on his face.

"Yes Logan?"

"I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable just then, and please don't think I was trying to hit on you or anything. I just wanted you to know how amazing you are. Please don't run away from me!"

I started laughing quite hard at that.

"What?" Logan asked, beginning to lighten a little.

"Have you ever seen me run Logan? Through the forest no less?"

He began to laugh too "Is it anything compared to how I've mastered the art of relaxing in chairs" Logan chuckled, reminding me of our first meeting.

"We should really be in the same gym class" I sobbed with laughter.

"Forks isn't ready" Logan choked out, before we both lay down on the grass racked with laughter.

We lay there for another hour I think, just laughing at nothing and talking about easy subjects. It was a nice warm-down to the previous emotional outpouring.

Finally I sat up "Logan, we should really head out of here. It's starting to get cold and I'm all wet from lying on the ground"

"Good idea" He agreed and helped me up.

As we began to walk back into school grounds I realised how much the weather had chilled. With my damp clothes I was so cold my teeth were chattering together and Logan commented that my lips had turned blue. He didn't look much better.

I thought to myself how a werewolf would come in handy right now, but instead Logan and I huddled together to try and conserve body heat.

"Do you want a ride home?" Logan asked "I don't think I'm in any state to go to my last classes"

"Yes p p p please" I stuttered and at this we were both set off laughing again.

It was obviously lunch time when we returned to school grounds and there were students everywhere. As people noticed us a shocked look registered on their faces right before they hurriedly began the business of talking behind their hands to one another. Yet again today, I wondered what was going on.

I turned confused to Logan and noticed he had a grin from ear to ear.

"What's going on?" I whispered to Logan.

"Oh Bella, you're going to HATE this" He cringed, rubbing his hand across his forehead.

"Tell me!" I spat, growing impatient.

"Ok, so how does this look to you...two outcasts emerge from the forest after disappearing a few hours ago. They are hugging and giggling, their hair is dishevelled and their clothes are muddy and wet..."

My hand flew up to cover my mouth that had dropped to the ground in mortification.

"Oh Logan they couldn't possibly think that could they?" But as I asked the words I saw it written all over their faces. It was _exactly_ what they were thinking.

I heard Logan chuckling to himself and spun to face him "And you think this is funny?" I screeched.

He composed himself a little before saying "Honestly Bella, after they get over the initial appearance of us, do you really think that they would assume that we, of all people, were engaging in illicit activities in the forest during school hours".

He was right and I felt myself calm down.

"Well, not me" I said with a crooked smile, raising an eyebrow "You, however, could be a bit of a dark horse for all they know"

Logan faked insult and clipped me behind the ears. I stumbled forward a bit and then my eyes settled on a pair of well kept, expensive and familiar shoes in front of me.

I straightened up, all the amusement vanished.

"Edward" I cringed.

"May I talk with you in private for a moment" Edward said.

He seemed to be perfectly in control, but on closer look I could see a vein flicking at the base of his jaw line indicating that, despite what he may be trying to convey, he was livid.

I bit my lip. "Sure" I replied, and gave Logan a reassuring look "I'll meet you at your car ok?"

Logan slowly nodded and then backed away.

Edward grabbed me by the arm and led me off to the side. His grip was too forceful and a shot of pain seared through my arm.

"Ow Edward, you're hurting me" I yelped and he instantly released his grip.

He sighed heavily and stood in front of me, running his hand through his hair while scowling.

"Bella" he finally spat out "What the hell were you thinking?"

"It wasn't what it looked like" I quickly replied and he looked at me like I was an idiot.

"I know it wasn't what it looked liked, I've got exceptional hearing remember" He said sarcastically.

"You were eavesdropping!" I gasped, feeling my face blush furiously.

He had heard everything! I felt utterly humiliated and degraded. It was one thing that I had told a complete stranger the truth about what was hidden in my heart, but for Edward to have heard what I said about him...I was so embarrassed.

"Well when you go running off into a forest by yourself while there are creatures trying to kill you it kind of perks my interest" he continued with his sarcastic tone.

"Hear anything interesting then?" I challenged back. My embarrassment now turning to anger.

"Nothing other than you putting yourself in a situation where you were utterly alone and isolated, trusting a complete stranger that you know next to nothing about."

I shook my head "Logan is no threat to me Edward I can tell. I can trust him"

Edward laughed bitterly "Your instincts haven't exactly steered you well in the past Bella"

"You definitely right there Edward" I hurled at him and then attempted to regain some composure "But it's really none of your concern now is it. Logan is not a threat to my life"

Edward stole a glance in Logan's direction and glared. Turning back to me he opened his mouth to say something but I decided I'd had enough of listening to him. This was ridiculous and was just getting worse with every step I took to try and fix my broken life.

Slowly and deliberately I said "Why don't you just leave Edward. We don't need you here. Your family can take care of matters"

Edward looked at me shocked and then became enraged "If you think I would leave my family behind here to clean up this mess..."

How those words that rushed from his mouth bit me to the very core.

"This mess?" I yelled "THIS MESS?" I had lost all control and didn't care "So you think of me as a MESS that you need to clean up!!!"

I would have carried on if I hadn't seen Logan sprinting over to us, obviously concerned at the nasty turn our discussion had taken. He was running too fast and I knew Edward was too distracted to notice his speedy approach. I opened my mouth to scream at Logan to stop but was too late.

As Logan came up behind Edward in an effort to reach where I was standing, Edward was startled. Instinctively he drew his elbow back to deflect the blow he mistakenly thought was coming and struck Logan straight in the ribcage. The sound of bones cracking was sickening. The force of the impact threw Logan into the air and back about 6 feet, his head smashing against the concrete knocking him instantly unconscious.

"Logan!" I screamed and ran over where he lay. I couldn't see any blood, but he wasn't moving. "Someone call an ambulance!" I yelled while checking his breathing and his pulse, noting he was still very much alive thank god. I crouched beside him holding his hands, tears streaming down my face, pleading with him to open his eyes.

A crowd had gathered around us by the time the ambulance arrived. They loaded him in and I offered to drive his car to the hospital. I had no desire to be confined in an environment where I felt panicked and helpless with nothing to distract me.

As the crowd slowly dispersed and I pushed my way through the remainder of the spectators, I saw Edward still standing there with a look of absolute horror and disbelief on his face. Alice was standing beside him with exactly the same expression. Edward looked at me and began to walk towards me, but I held up my hand to stop him.

I knew he could hear me from where he was, so whispered under my breath.

"You stay away from me, you hear? I _never_ want to see you again." Then I turned and walked to Logan's car never once looking back. As I opened the car door and sat down in the seat, I couldn't stop myself from adding "You were right all along Edward....you _are_ the bad guy".

As I drove away all I could think of was that what I had just done and said to Edward was perhaps the single most stupid and smartest thing I had ever done to myself. And as I began to sob with gut wrenching tears I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was going to tear my heart to shreds more than anything else in this world could ever possibly do. Infinitely.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Sorry it's taken a while to update. This one's a little void of action so hopefully you don't get too bored. I may be a bit tardy in updating for a while as I have a few things needing urgent attention, but will try not to take too long. As always, comments and criticisms are welcomed and encouraged.

Oh yeah, and I don't own twilight etc etc

**End of last chapter:**

"_You stay away from me, you hear? I never want to see you again." Then I turned and walked to Logan's car never once looking back. As I opened the car door and sat down in the seat, I couldn't stop myself from adding "You were right all along Edward....you are the bad guy"._

_As I drove away all I could think of was that what I had just done and said to Edward was perhaps the single most stupid and smartest thing I had ever done to myself. And as I began to sob with gut wrenching tears I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was going to tear my heart to shreds more than anything else in this world could ever possibly do. Infinitely._

Chapter Seven

It felt surreal entering the hospital.

Most of the visits I had paid here were to tend to my injuries. This familiar place was suddenly an alien maze and I wandered aimlessly in confusion for what seemed like eternity until a gentle hand was placed on my shoulder.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked confused "Are you ok? What are you doing here?"

"I'm looking for my friend Logan" I muttered back.

I couldn't bring myself to look into his eyes. I was sickened by today's turn of events and I had no idea how I was going to verbalise all of what had happened and what it meant to me. I was unable to comprehend my own thoughts, let alone structure them into sentences to explain to others.

"I'm just going to see him actually" Carlisle replied in a cautious tone, as if sensing my distress but not wishing to unleash it at this point in time, "Follow me".

I followed him like a zombie. Eyes to the ground, moving rigidly and not speaking.

Carlisle paused on route and said "Bella, I'm worried. Shall we go to my office for a moment to talk...."

"Just check on Logan, Carlisle" I interrupted woodenly "And then we'll talk"

He nodded seriously and led me to the examination room Logan was in.

I almost collapsed with relief to see that Logan was sitting up and chatting to the attending nurse.

"Logan!" I rushed towards him "Thank god you're ok!"

"That is possibly an overstatement Bella" Carlisle chuckled good-humouredly, looking at Logan's chart "Three cracked ribs and 12 stitches to the back of the head. Nothing that won't heal though. Birds of a feather huh Bella!" And he shot Logan a warm smile that was impossible to resist.

"I'm Dr Cullen" Carlisle continued addressing Logan "and you'll be glad to know that I'm here to give you the all clear to go home. Apart from medicating the pain, there is nothing more that we can do for your injuries. Just try not to overexert yourself and time will do the healing for you. You will need someone to monitor you though for signs of concussion, is there someone at home for the next twenty-four hours that can do that for you? It states here that we've been unable to contact your next of kin"

"Ummm" Logan stalled. He shot me a panicked look. I knew that his sister was in no state to look after him, she couldn't even answer the phone. He obviously didn't want to divulge this information to Carlisle however.

"You can come home to my house Logan" I answered for him "Charlie, my dad, will be fine with it"

"Thanks" Logan replied relieved, scratching his head absentmindedly and then wincing with pain.

"Well that's settled then" Carlisle wrapped up "Bella, come with me to my office and I'll give you an information sheet about what to look out for and then you two can be on your way"

When we got into Carlisle's office he closed the door and looked at me intensely.

"What happened Bella, you look absolutely traumatised. It says on his chart that Logan reported a fall as the cause of his injuries, but the nature of the injuries and your state of distress hint to me that there is much more to this story than he is letting on"

I cringed, closing my eyes.

"Carlisle..." I started, but ended up simply letting an enormous sigh heave out of my body. How was I going to explain all of this?

"Please tell me Bella, you know you can trust me" Carlisle encouraged.

"I don't know what I know anymore Carlisle" I said meekly, silent tears spilling over my eyes and trickling down my face.

I looked up at him and simply said "Edward did that to him"

"What!" Carlisle exclaimed. He looked shocked, hurt and scared and was shaking his head wildly "Edward? How did this happen? _Edward_ did that?"

I shuddered with my erratic intake of breath and couldn't stop myself from gently rocking in my seat. I clutched my arms across my stomach in an attempt to keep from losing it completely.

The enormity of what had actually happened hit me like a brick across the face. This changed everything for all of us and I had no idea exactly what that meant. All I knew was that _this_ moment was the saddest I had ever felt in my life. I felt grief of losing any semblance of relationship with Edward. I was overcome with disappointment in the one person who I had thought to be perfect, and I was ashamed of the nasty and hurtful way I had reacted towards him. All the emotions I felt were at odds and in contradiction to each other and they felt so physical swimming around in my body that I was afraid I would throw up. The one overriding emotion I felt was responsibility for this whole revolting mess.

"I don't want to sound like a broken record Carlisle, but this is all my fault. Edward and I were having an argument and Logan was concerned. He ran over to me to see if I was ok, but Edward thought he was attacking him and...well you've seen the result"

Carlisle started rubbing his forehead violently and then moved his hand down to first cover his mouth and finally rest on his throat. He looked at me with such confusion and merely repeated "Edward did that?"

"I have to go" I said, suddenly on my feet. I was scared that I would break down in front of Carlisle and I was utterly sick of behaving so pathetically in front of an audience lately "Can I have those information sheets please Carlisle? I'm so sorry but I need to get out of here now. I'm sure Edward can fill you in on all the missing details"

"Bella wait" Carlisle called "Please, there has to be an explanation for this. In the whole time I've known Edward he has never once harmed an innocent person"

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed heavily "I know it's not like him Carlisle, even I can see that. I just can't deal with this right now. I just need some time to make sure Logan's ok and process the whole situation, ok?"

"Of course" Carlisle said soothingly, handing me the pamphlets "But please come and talk to us about this when you feel you're up to it"

"Sure" I replied unconvincingly and quickly headed out of his office.

Standing outside was Edward.

He just looked at me with such a raw and unfiltered expression that I couldn't figure out what he was feeling. I could tell however that whatever he felt was as dark as night and just as frightening.

I wanted to say something, anything, but I just stood there looking at him and trying to hold back my tears. I wanted to tell him how much I hated him for everything he had done. I wanted to tell him that I loved him more than it was humanly possible to love someone. I wanted to beg him to reverse time and go back five months ago before everything that was good in my life was completely destroyed.

But instead I said nothing and walked away.

"Bella please wait" he called to me with a break in his voice. He was hurting badly from all of this I could tell.

I stopped and turned, looking directly at the floor.

"I am _so sorry_" He said slowly, his voice thick with pain "I honestly have no idea how that happened. I never wanted to hurt your friend Bella, honestly"

"I believe you" I said sadly, looking into his eyes "Now, please leave me alone."

"But..." Edward started, but I quickly cut him off. I needed to say what I had to before I lost momentum. _This is for my own good_ I kept telling myself, but my words were traitorous to my heart.

"I can't do this anymore Edward it's just too hard. I honestly need you to stay away from me. I wish I could be as strong as you are, but I'm just a simple, fragile, stupid human girl...and I can't do this anymore"

Edward just looked at me with emotions I had no headspace to figure out and nodded.

"Goodbye Edward"

And I walked away.

I had no idea if I'd done the right thing and my heart was hurting so badly, but what other choice did I have. Honestly?

It was terrifying to think of what I was doing by turning my back on Edward, but I reassured myself with the thought that it was what he would end up doing eventually anyway. This fracture would occur regardless so best to do it before my heart gave up all notions of strength and rationality.

When I got to Logan's room he was already up, wincing in pain as he tried to pick up his stuff.

"Was that Edward's dad?" Logan asked offhandedly as I grabbed his stuff for him and led him out the door.

"Yeah" I replied, not able to elaborate for fear of letting go of my fragile grip on self control.

"He looks young!" Logan remarked "But seems really nice"

"He is" I said quietly.

As we walked towards the exit, my curiosity got the better of me "Why didn't you tell anyone what really happened?" Logan didn't owe Edward anything so I couldn't understand why he had protected him from trouble.

He just shrugged "What would it have achieved to get Edward into trouble" he said quietly "I've already drawn enough attention to myself today, I just wanted the whole thing to disappear"

"A man after my own heart" I said bitterly, putting my arm around his shoulder and then quickly releasing as I saw him cringe with pain.

As we were leaving the hospital Alice sprinted to our side.

"Hi Logan is it?" she asked.

"Ummm, yeah. You're Alice Cullen aren't you?"

"Yes, but please don't let the name put you off" She said with a warm smile "We're not all so feisty"

Logan chuckled at that and added graciously "Tell your brother no hard feelings, from what I gather the whole thing was just a bad mistake on both our parts"

Alice looked touched and surprised at that statement "Thanks Logan, that's really good of you. I hope somehow we can make it up to you!" and then turned to face me "I know your probably sick of all the drama today Bella, but could I please just steal a moment of your time before you go?"

"Sure" I replied "Meet you at the car Logan? No theatrics this time I promise!"

"I'm beginning to think that if it involves either of us, or worse both of us, that theatrics are definitely inevitable!" Logan laughed back "Nice to meet you Alice. See you in a bit Bella" and he headed out the door.

Alice and I stood looking at each other and I broke the silence first.

"Does this change anything between us?" I asked frightened.

"I was just about to ask the same thing!" she exclaimed before lunging at me and embracing me.

I was so thankful that I hadn't lost absolutely everything in the last 24 hours.

"Thank god" I whispered in Alice's ear "I didn't know if you would hate me for how I reacted just before"

"I understand where you were coming from Bella" Alice said "But you need to know that Edward didn't mean to hurt Logan. He is as shocked and horrified by what happened as we are"

"I do know that Alice"

"Then why are you still telling him to keep away from you?" Alice asked confused.

"Because it was like the final nail in the coffin" I explained "Things kept adding up and adding up and I knew it was a matter of time before I lost my hold on what is left of my heart. The incident with Logan concreted the fact that I need to do what I can to survive this whole situation. I don't belong in your world anymore than you belong in mine" I ended, my voice softly fading with the regret of what I had just said to Alice.

"Yours?" Alice asked.

"Humans" I answered with a small smile "Our biggest concerns should be things like getting into college or what to wear next Saturday night, not whether or not I will be slowly tortured to death by vengeful vampires or whether my 100 year old ex-boyfriend will end up maiming my new friend"

Alice smiled, but through it I could see real pain.

"I love you Alice, and I always will. I also have no doubt that you will forever be a large part of my life, but right now I just need some breathing space to try and remember what it is like to be human"

"I don't think you're doing the right thing" Alice said quietly "I know that we can make this work Bella"

"Maybe" I whispered back "Nothings set in stone Alice. I just need to stand back from the situation for a bit, you know, let my head rule instead of my heart to see if that makes any difference to my mess of a life"

"Let me know how that works out" Alice smiled sadly.

"As if you don't know already" I joked back.

She just shook her head worried "The thing is Bella, I honestly don't know. My visions are not behaving lately and so many peculiar things are happening that all I do know is that we are headed for big trouble."

"I can feel it to" I replied seriously "I promise I'll call you tomorrow Alice ok? Just give me the rest of the day to marinate a bit on what's happened."

Alice looked so worried, but she nodded at my request.

Just as I was walking away she grabbed my arm. I looked at her expectantly, but she just shook her head.

"Alice, what is it?" I asked, knowing there was a deluge of thoughts invading her mind.

"Edward would have never hurt your friend Bella. It doesn't make sense and I don't like this. Something is happening and I'm terrified"

"Like I said" I reassured her "I'll call you tomorrow"

"Please" Alice begged "Please don't turn your back on Edward. I can't elaborate because it's not my place, but he would rather die than see you hurt"

"If that were the case" I said too coldly for my liking "Then the last five months would be a figment of my imagination"

I tried to banish the shocked look on Alice's face as I left her standing at the hospital entrance from my thoughts as we headed home. It seems I was hell-bent on hurting everyone I loved today and I was definitely growing weary from the weight of my guilt.

"Bella" Logan said hesitantly as we pulled out of the hospital carpark "thanks so much for the offer, but perhaps it would be best if once we get you home I head back to my place. Your dad doesn't know me and I'm not too sure if he'd like a stranger crashing the night at your house with all the murders that have been happening lately"

"He won't be too thrilled" I admitted "But it can't hurt to try"

"There's another thing" Logan continued "with your dad being who he is....well, if we tell him about my sister I'm scared he'll think she isn't fit to take care of me and report her to child services. I can't do that to her, she's got enough on her plate"

"Well then we'll lie" I replied grimacing. If there was one thing I sucked more at than anything else it was lying. I hated doing it too, but I didn't want to make Logan's life more difficult than it already was at the moment "Lets just see what happens, ok?"

"Ok" Logan smiled back, but I could see he was nervous as hell.

When we pulled up home I noticed Charlie's cruiser in the driveway along with another vehicle...Jacob's rabbit.

I couldn't help but groan out loud, which didn't escape Logan's attention.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Jacob, the boy from the reserve I told you about, he's here"

"Do you want some of my painkillers to take the edge off?" Logan joked in reply

"Don't tempt me" I laughed back.

Jacob and Charlie were sitting around the kitchen table. Charlie opened his mouth to say something and then quickly snapped it shut when he saw we had company.

"You must be Logan" he said finally and Logan blushed furiously. Charlie gestured to Jacob "Jake here has been filling me in on the high school gossip."

"Yes I am he" Logan replied embarrassed "Nice to meet you Mr Swan"

"I hear you had a run in with Edward Cullen" Charlie continued "I must admit I'm very surprised to hear that. Although he may not be at the top of my Christmas card list, I didn't think he was capable of behaving like I've heard he did today"

"It was a misunderstanding" Logan muttered.

"What, like you accidently ran into his fist?" Jacob interjected.

"Actually" Logan replied looking at Jacob with a crooked smile "You're not far off the mark there. In fact, your spot on"

Jacob and Charlie laughed, and I heard Charlie mutter something about trusting me to find someone as equally injury prone.

All thoughts of continuing the conversation were thwarted when Jacob filled the room with a booming whoop, jumping to hit feet and looking out the kitchen window.

"NO WAY!" he yelled "GET OUT!!!!"

"What" I exclaimed, terrified at what Jacob had just seen or heard.

"Tell me, man, that that isn't a 57 Cadillac Coupe de Ville out there! Oh man, it is isn't it? Far OUT!!"

I had to smile. Even though I was still wary of Jacob after last night, I couldn't help but warm to his outpouring of childish excitement over Logan's car. I knew it looked pretty cool, but had no idea that it would drive men wild like it was.

Charlie also got to his feet and let out a shrill whistle between his teeth "Logan, that is one sweet car you have there"

Logan beamed at this and I could see he was just as excited by it as the others were.

"Yeah, pretty good car huh! It was my grandfathers"

Jake and Charlie just shook their heads in rapture.

"I'm pretty ashamed though. I try to keep the outside looking mint, but there are major mechanical problems with it. The engine is totally on its last legs, but I have no money to invest in it. You don't happen to know any cheap mechanics do you?"

Jacob looked at Logan as if he was about to kiss him passionately. Still shaking his head, he headed towards Logan "I think you may indeed be my new best friend" He said while placing his arm around Logan's shoulder and leading him outside to the car.

I had to laugh out loud when I saw Logan attempting to hide the pain that shot through his body by Jacobs embrace. Neither of them could hear it though as they were out the door at lightning speed and now hovered over the car with lust in their eyes.

"He seems nice" Charlie said, still looking out the window at the car.

I was shocked. Charlie was a man of little words so he must have really warmed to Logan to say that. I couldn't blame him though, there was just some unique quality about Logan that made it impossible not to like him.

"I'm glad you think so" I said "because I was going to ask if he could stay the night tonight"

Charlie spun to face me and said gruffly "I said he seems nice, not that I like him so much I would trust him alone in the house with my daughter! Why on earth does he need to stay the night here?"

"He needs to be monitored for concussion and there's no one else he knows that is around tonight"

Charlie was about to say something when we both saw what was about to happen coming.

Open mouthed we watched the comedy of errors unfold.

As Jacob was closing the hood of the car, Logan absentmindedly put his hand on the edge of the hood engrossed in conversation. It slammed down hard on Logan's hand and he yelped in pain. Snatching his hand out he stumbled back and off the curb, losing his balance and splaying himself out onto the road. Jacob gave him a hand back up, but Logan's feet slipped on the gravel and he crashed back down onto the road, violently landing on his butt. Logan grimaced in pain, picked himself up and proceeded to dust the gravel off his clothing, all the while trying to regain pride and composure.

Charlie turned to me with amused look and said "On second thoughts, I think the boy is no danger to anyone but himself. And I have to work again tonight so it would make me feel a whole lot better if someone was here in the house with you. So I suppose he can stay. But only for tonight"

"Thanks" I smiled in return, thankful that Logan's circus performance had distracted Charlie from probing further into Logan's situation.

Jacob and a very sheepish looking Logan re-entered the house. Jacob's face was scarlet from all the laughing.

"Even when you pick a normal human to befriend, you have to make it interesting" he whispered in my ear and I smiled back at him.

"I'm sorry about last night. Can we talk about it later" he followed quickly and I nodded in reply.

I hadn't heard the phone ring, but when I turned my attention to Charlie he was just replacing the phone to the cradle.

"I have to go sorry, there's been a possible sighting just out of town. Jacob, are you going to stick around a while?" Charlie asked. He obviously hadn't lost all protective suspicion of Logan.

"Yeah" Jacob replied "I'll defiantly stay for tea if Bella's cooking!" and gave me a wink.

The rest of the evening was easy and pleasant. Jacob and Logan got along really well and it was nice to be forced into normalcy for a few hours. Although I had the sensation of a dull ache and dread surrounding my thoughts about Edward, I was surprised that I was able to push them to the back of my mind for the time being. I knew I would have to deal with the emotions and problems today had created, but I was also relishing the pleasant distraction Jacob and Logan provided. They were so alike in their ability to ease me from the heaviness of my heartache and I was thankful I had both of them here to help me smile tonight...it was the calm before the storm I had no doubt about that

After tea Logan offered to do the dishes. I protested, worried that it might be pushing it with his injuries, but he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"It will give you a chance to talk to him" Logan whispered in my ear while Jacob was in the TV room trying to find a suitable channel to watch "With all the damage I seem to have caused for you today at least let me give some time for you to perhaps sort out one of the things that have troubled you"

I looked at him quizzically "What do you mean about the damage you have caused?" I asked.

"I know what happened with Edward today is going to make things even more complicated for you. I hate the fact that something to do with me has made you unhappy or added more stress to an already stressful situation!"

"Logan, you need to stop blaming yourself this instant!" I scolded him "You weren't responsible for Edward's actions!"

Logan beamed back a smile "And you need to start taking your own advice" He retorted smugly before limping over to the sink and turning on the tap.

He looked at me, then at where Jacob was and gave me a wink while mouthing the word 'go'.

I sat down on the couch and Jacob followed my lead. We sat there pretending to watch the television for a while in silence before he began.

"Bella" Jacob started "I was such a jerk last night and I'm sorry. I still believe you should keep away from the Cullen's, especially after what lover boy did today, but I am thoroughly ashamed about the way I treated you. You were right, what I was doing made me no better than him and I don't want to occupy the same wound in your heart as he does. I'm different to him Bella, I need you to know that"

"I forgive you Jake" I reassured him, taking hold of his hand "But only if you forgive me for being so ungrateful for everything you have done for me"

"You don't owe me anything" He replied "I don't care about you in order to get something back in return. I do it because there is no way I could not." He looked sadly away from me before continuing "I know where your heart lies and I'm not kidding myself, but at the same time I am acutely aware of where my heart lies. Bella, there is not a damn thing in this world that could stop me from trying to be part of your life. I know sometimes my actions tell a different story, but I hope that how I make up for my mistakes also lets you know how much I care"

Tears welled in my eyes. Jacob was so truly wonderful and loving. Again, I felt complete shame at being so undeserving, but at the same time was deeply grateful and happy that our bond had not been severed.

"Thank you" I choked out "Your irreplaceable to me Jacob Black, I hope you know that"

"Of course" Jacob sighed, relaxing back onto the couch "Where else are you going to find another sucker to follow you around like a puppy dog and blindly worship the ground you walk on?" and then he gave me a huge smile before yelling out "How are those dishes coming along Logan my brother"

I smacked him hard across the shoulder, understanding his attempt at a subtle joke. "Logan does not resemble a puppy dog, nor does he worship me" I said, embarrassed by what Jacob was implying.

"Of course not" Jacob replied with a grin from ear to ear while I continued to scowl at him.

"All done" Logan said as he joined us in front of the TV "Now what?"

"Now" I spoke "We forget all about how crappy things out in the real world are by delving into some brain numbing television viewing"

"Perfect!" Logan beamed.

The rest of the evening was wonderful. There was no talk of werewolves or vampires, no discussions of broken or wounded hearts, just simply three friends relaxing and being normal teenagers.

Jacob left quite late and whispered to me as he did that the pack were on patrol tonight so not to worry about anything. Logan got settled on the couch for the night and I headed off to bed.

I felt oddly secure, despite the increasing threat that lurked somewhere out there for me. Perhaps the normalcy of tonight had tricked my brain into thinking that maybe everything might work out ok.

I refused to let my mind wander to Edward and his family. That dull ache would still be there in the morning, so I may as well deal with it then and let myself enjoy what little comfort tonight had brought.

For the first time since I could remember I drifted easily into sleep.

Before I opened my eyes, I could see the flashes of coloured light even through my closed lids.

The night sky was still pitch black outside, but my entire room was filled with flashes of blue, red and white light and I sat bolt upright in bed.

My brain, still foggy from sleep, was struggling to make sense of what was happening and I had to giggle at myself when I hypothesised that the strange lights filling my room were probably aliens. I had a vampire ex and a werewolf best friend, so was alien abduction really a stretch of the imagination?!

I got up and walked over to the window for explanation. The lights were coming from police cars and an ambulance that were parked outside our next-door neighbour's house.

My heart dropped when I saw the medics wheel out a body swathed in a sheet.

Mrs Crittle had lived in the house next door for as long as my memory went back. She lived by herself, a widow for the entire time I had known her, and was very lonely. As a kid Charlie and I would often go for a quick visit or chat to keep her company. She was a lovely lady, but she was old and this was to be expected. I still felt deeply saddened none the less.

Taking in more of the scene, I began to feel fear creep up slowly from the recesses of my mind. If Mrs Crittle had simply passed in her sleep naturally, how did the police know? There was no one living with her to call them and even if there was they probably wouldn't have realised she had passed until morning. Furthermore, if she died of natural causes why would there be not one but 3 police vehicles out the front of her house.

My heart started pounding furiously when it hit me that something much more sinister had taken place here.

I ran down the stairs to see Logan sitting at the table, shaking furiously in what I assumed was shock as he talked to Charlie.

"Logan, can you tell us exactly what happened?"

"Well" Logan started. His voice was trembling and he looked like he was about to cry "I was asleep on the couch when I heard it. Such an ear-piercing scream, I've never heard anything like it before. At first I thought I was dreaming, but then I heard it again. I was half asleep and still very groggy as I ran out the front door to see where the scream came from. To be honest if I was completely awake I don't know if I would have gone to check it out...I'm too much of a coward and I don't know...." Logan couldn't finish his sentence. He put his face in his hands and started shaking even harder.

"It's ok son" Charlie comforted Logan, placing a hand on his shoulder "Most people would have had the same fears and reserves, you're not a coward."

Logan raised his head and gave Charlie an appreciative look before continuing his story.

"So I ran out into the street and saw two figures running from the house next door. I'm sorry Chief Swan but I must have been more asleep than I thought because I didn't see what they looked like at all. It's as if they were running at the speed of light. The only information I can give you is that I think one of them was female because she had long red hair"

I almost threw up on the spot...Victoria!

"The front door of the house was open so I ran in thinking I could help whoever had been screaming, but the blood....of my god the blood!" And at that Logan crumbled into tears, unable to say more.

I just stood there, midway down the stairs.

I felt all the blood draining from my body, my skin cold and damp.

Victoria had been next door, while I slept in an idiotic state of false comfort, and had murdered my poor sweet neighbour.

"Bella?" Charlie said and I was startled, I hadn't noticed that I had been sobbing out loud until I had drawn their attention "Oh Bella, I'm so sorry you had to hear that."

"Mrs Crittle?" I whispered, my voice breathless and shaky.

"There was nothing we could do Bella. We think she was gone even when Logan went to help. I'm so sorry" Charlie said, standing up from the table and walking over to me.

How could this have happened? How could Victoria have gotten past the guards I had no doubt had been stationed outside in the forest?

She could get passed the vampires and werewolves that were posted to protect me? She could enter any house she wanted and brutally murder anyone she felt like? She could do all this and still evade capture?

I was as good as dead and I knew it. Victoria would torture and kill me eventually, she obviously was capable of anything she wanted to do. I would just have to wait until she finally came for me. But for now she was simply playing with her food...

I barely even registered the fact that I was falling until my head crashed against the hard kitchen floor and my mind slipped into the sweet release of nothingness.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Ok, so I had to cut this chapter in half because it was getting way too long. Hopefully it doesn't feel like I've suddenly chopped it off! The other half shouldn't be too far away, but again the story has gone in a different direction than I initially planned and I need to regroup myself and figure out where I'm going! Also, I'm worried my writing style and grammar has slipped back into bad habits again, so please let me know if you find anything about my writing difficult to follow or sloppy.

Other than that enjoy!

And I don't own twilight or the characters etc etc.

**End of Last Chapter: **

_I was as good as dead and I knew it. Victoria would torture and kill me eventually, she obviously was capable of anything she wanted to do. I would just have to wait until she finally came for me. But for now she was simply playing with her food..._

_I barely even registered the fact that I was falling until my head crashed against the hard kitchen floor and my mind slipped into the sweet release of nothingness._

Chapter Eight

When I finally awoke it was well and truly morning.

I was lying on the couch in the living room and light streamed through every window. It seemed to be a gorgeous day outside. The sun was beating down and there didn't appear to be a cloud in the sky.

How ironic that when my life was the blackest, nature would produce one of the most perfect days we had seen in a long time.

I could hear noises in the house, but for the moment I was completely alone in the room.

My immediate reaction was one of anxiety and I scolded myself for reacting like that. With what I was about to face, I had no time for fear or self-pity. The only path I needed to take was of action and mobilisation and I couldn't let myself fall into a state of immobilised fear. If I did I was as good as dead already.

Getting off the couch I went in search of whoever was in the house.

I didn't need to go far. Standing in the kitchen were my television buddies from last night, although this morning there was quite a different atmosphere brewing amongst them.

Jacob stood staring solemnly out the window and Logan paced frantically back and forth in the small confines of the kitchen.

"Morning" I croaked out.

"Bella!" they both exclaimed.

Logan rushed over to me and scrutinised my face, searching for something.

"Are you ok?" he finally asked when he could not find the answers he was looking for.

I nodded and replied "Are you?"

Logan shook his head. "I've been so worried about you! You hit your head really hard on the floor!"

As he said that I registered a dull ache on the side of my head. I had originally thought that it was due to stress and fatigue, but upon Logan's words I realised it was a throbbing headache due to face-planting the floor last night.

"Wasn't it supposed to be me we were watching for concussion" he followed with a sheepish smile.

"Yeah" I admitted laughing and rubbing my head "I'll live though".

As soon as I said that I shot a look at Jacob. I saw his jaw clench and his face take on the seriousness of someone three times his age.

"Yes you will Bella" he uttered quietly.

"Bella?" Logan said, drawing my attention back to him "I really hate to do this to you, but I need to go home"

I shook my head "No Logan, please stay"

I really didn't want him to leave. I felt much safer having him here and I didn't know whether that was due to fear for my own safety or for his.

Once he left my company he would join the ranks of the other mere mortals, unguarded and unprotected by my superhuman allies. Although fat lot of good it did for Mrs Crittle last night, I thought bitterly, so maybe he was no better off with me and my entourage after all.

However, false comfort was better than no comfort at all.

"I really can't Bella" he said and I noticed he was close to tears "I still can't get hold of Lisa on the phone and I'm going insane with worry. We live just out of town and we don't have any neighbours close by. I'm terrified that something's happened to her. Even though I know she's probably just ignoring the phone, I can't relax until I see her for myself! After what I saw last night..." he trailed off and I could see he was lost in the horrific memories of what he had seen in Mrs Crittle's house "Please Bella" he begged "I just need to make sure that she's ok"

I nodded with resignation "But ring me as soon as you get there, otherwise I'll go insane with worry too!"

Logan shot me a weary smile, kissed me on the forehead and bolted out the door.

"See you Jacob" he hurled as he limped hurriedly to his car.

Jacob turned to me once Logan had left and I noticed how aged he looked. His face was pale and drawn, his posture slumped, his eyes filled with much more sorrow and strife than a boy of his age should know.

"Jacob, what happened?" I asked.

"I honestly don't know" he answered with a huge sigh "There were three of us right outside in the forest. Not to mention the two bloodsuckers, the psychic and blondie"

"Alice and Rosalie" I corrected

"Whatever" Jacob continued, aggravated by my interruption "The fact of the matter is we didn't pick up a scent and we didn't see anything. Nothing at all! Even the leeches didn't notice anything. The first we knew of what had happened was when we heard Mrs Crittle scream. Once we got into the house we picked up the scent of Victoria and her friend, but they were gone before we got there. Then Logan came fumbling out of the house so we couldn't try and follow without being seen"

I stood there biting my lip for a while, processing what Jacob has just said to me.

"What is it Bella, what are you thinking about?" He asked finally, impatience getting the better of him.

"I was just thinking about a discussion I overheard when I was at the Cullen's house." At the mention of my sleepover the other night Jacob huffed, but my scowl immediately shut him up. "They were confused because a scent they were tracking in the forest simply vanished. And Alice's visions have been playing up. I wonder if somehow Victoria's friend is able to shield them from detection"

Jacob considered this for a while "Interesting... Perhaps" then he looked at me with a coy expression before continuing "This is going to sound all kinds of strange coming from me Bella, but do you think you could take me to the Cullen's?"

"They have _nothin_g to do with this" I immediately said in defence "they are good people Jacob and..."

"Firstly" Jacob interrupted "they are not people, nor would I call them good for that matter. And secondly, I don't think that they have anything to do with this. I just think that with the situation as serious as it is now that we might actually need to help each other"

My mouth dropped open and I stood there blinking furiously "You want to join forces with the vampires" I asked disbelievingly.

"No" Jacob barked gruffly "I just think that, while they are a blight on this planet, they might actually be of some use for a change"

I shook my head and smiled. I had forced a separation between myself and Edward only hours ago and now it was Jacob who wanted to forge a relationship with him.

Fate had a cruel sense of humour.

"I'll call them" I said, but before I could put my hand on the phone there was a knock at the door.

Jacob prickled and his nostrils flared.

"No need for the phone" Jacob spat out.

I turned to see Alice and Rosalie walk through the door.

Alice sprinted to my side and held me as if she would never see me again.

"Oh Bella, you have no idea how hard it has been hiding out there, wanting so badly to make sure your ok and talk to you!" She stood back and took my head between her hands "We're going to get to the bottom of this ok?"

I nodded "So you didn't have any visions?" I asked.

She just shook her head and looked scared "No, nothing" she muttered.

Jacob began to chuckle darkly and Rosalie shot him a look of immense hatred.

"You find this funny Fido?" She spat between her teeth.

Jacob pushed himself up from the bench he was leaning on to rise to his full towering height and looked smugly as he answered "I just think it's hilarious that your family sent two little girls to guard Bella. What were you going to do if you had confronted Victoria? Make a bitchy comment about her hair?"

Rosalie glared menacingly at Jacob and replied "I would invite you to see for yourself, but I don't want to risk my clothes stinking of dog blood"

Jacob simply chuckled some more at that "Why does it not surprise me that your major concern is your clothes?"

"Stop it Jacob" I warned "I thought you said you wanted to ask for the Cullen's help"

Jacob rolled his eyes "ok...truce?" and he started laughing even harder, pleased with his attempt at wit.

None of us were in the mood for laughing however and Jacob's mirth soon dried up when he realised he was the only one amused by it all.

"Geez, tough crowd" he muttered under his breath.

We were all surprised when Alice lurched forward quicker than the eye and pinned him to the ground with his arm twisted behind his back like a police officer would do to an arrestee.

"If you are quite finished behaving like a 5 year old" she hissed in his ear "Do you think it's possible we could get back to the business of trying to keep Bella alive?"

Jacob was stunned and shocked. As Alice leaped back in order to allow Jacob stand, his face betrayed an expression of impressed awe at her agility, strength and speed.

"Yes" he muttered with embarrassment "But you need to give me a minute. I will have to meet with Sam and discuss the idea of us working together with him and the others first"

"There's a good dog" Rosalie said condescendingly "Why don't you and your litter meet us at our home after you've finished your little chat"

Jacob just scowled and then turned to me "Are you ok with this Bella?"

"Sure" I said, not knowing what to think.

Jacob kissed me on the cheek and then ran out the door, shimmering and changing as he leaped into the forest beyond the road.

I was surprised when Rosalie, not Alice, turned to speak first "You should call Charlie and tell him what you're doing" She said with seriousness "and then we should leave as soon as possible. Since we obviously can't tell when Victoria and her friend are around we should waste no time getting you to a safer place"

"Ok" I replied, wary and confused.

Why did she sound so concerned? She had never shown me anything but hostility and it was disarming for her talk to me like I didn't repulse her.

Alice grabbed my arm as I walked towards the phone and, as if she'd read my mind, said "There's more to this than you know about Bella and we are all extremely worried about what is unfolding. We'll discuss it at home I promise"

I quickly rang Charlie, telling him that Jacob and Logan had gone to check on Logan's sister and that the Cullen's had offered to have me at their house until Jacob returned.

Charlie, expectedly, sounded confused but nonetheless made no comment and simply told me to stay safe.

We ran to the Cullen's, me on Alice's back, but the trip did not hold the thrill or giddiness that it once did when Edward and I travelled this way.

There was a solemn dread permeating this trip, saturated with the atmosphere of a difficult task ahead to face when we reached our destination.

I leaned into Alice's body, savouring the closeness and comfort of my best friend. Small tears escaped from my eyes that were clenched tightly shut. I couldn't help but think that this may be the last time I would ever be this close to her.

I may be dead soon.

Anger began to rise within me to think that Victoria would take me away from all that I loved. I had wanted to spend eternity with this family that I held so dear and now it seems I wouldn't even get to settle for a few lousy years.

I buried my face into Alice's back, screaming in pain and fury at how my fate was twisting. I was terrified of dying. I was furious that I would not get to grow old with the people I loved. I hated Victoria with every fibre of my being and I swore that in the moment of my death, I would show rage against her torment.

I would not die softly.

Alice stopped a distance from the house and set me on the ground.

"What are you doing?" Rosalie asked.

"Go ahead" Alice replied "I want to talk to Bella alone before we see the others"

Rosalie sighed with annoyance, but left anyway.

Alice grabbed me by my arms and shook me, quite forcefully too!

"Now you listen here Isabella Swan. I've been listening to you cry and scream for long enough now. I know your scared and I know you think that we can't fight this, but you need to get something through that stubborn head of yours" she scolded "You are NOT going to die. We ARE going to do this. Under normal circumstances our family is a force to be reckoned with, but when the life of one of our own is threatened.....we are completely unstoppable. Do you understand?"

"Yes" I choked, and it sounded more like a question than an answer.

"Humph" Alice returned "Now get back on and let's get this sorted!"

As we covered the short distance left to the house, I couldn't help but begin to hope again that maybe I would live through this. Even though it was only a small glimmer of promise, I decided to hold it close to my heart to give me the strength to try to fight.

Esme greeted me at the door and clutched me against herself as she led me towards the others.

Everyone sat around the dining room table again as they had only two nights before, but this time there was a seat reserved for me.

I took my place in between Alice and Emmett and sat looking down at my hands until Carlisle spoke.

"Bella, how are you holding up?"

I looked at him and crumbled into the warmth and comfort I saw in his face.

"Better now that I'm here" I admitted.

Carlisle smiled, making his face even more beautiful than I thought possible "I'm glad to hear that" He replied "Rosalie tells us that the Quileute pack will be joining us soon to discuss matters"

"It was Jacob's idea" I winced apologetically.

"And a smart one at that" Carlisle reassured "I believe that only good will come from us working together. Not that I had any doubt in my mind that we couldn't handle things on our own, mind you" He finished with a wink.

To my surprise I actually laughed a little, but then remembered something Alice had said to me before we had left my house "Alice said something about there being more to what happened last night. What was she talking about?"

As soon as I said this I heard Edward growl and I looked in his direction to see him glaring at Alice with reprimand. Alice shot him a defiant look and Carlisle quickly interjected.

"Yes Bella, but why don't we take this conversation outside. It seems our guests have arrived and by the sounds of them I don't think they are eager to pull up a chair"

As we made our way to the front door I was completely taken by surprise when Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me aside. His body was terribly close to mine and I could feel his cool breath against my cheek. I looked up into his eyes and began to drown in his heady, familiar scent. I was intoxicated by his close proximity and had to work hard not to reach out across the few small inches that separated us and place my hand against his cold, strong chest.

It was heaven and hell.

"I know you don't want to talk to me and I don't blame you" he said with a sense of urgency "but I need you to know this. There is not a damn thing in this world that I wouldn't do to protect you from harm. It's all I've ever tried to do and I'm sorry that I haven't done it very well in the past, but I plan to make up for it. I would gladly give my life if it meant that you got to see another day. I promise you I will not let you down this time"

And with that he quickly walked away.

I was left reeling from the intensity and emotion of Edward's words. I also felt a sudden warmness flood my senses, a heat that I had not let myself feel for five long months. It was the beauty and joy of my love for Edward that was invading my body right this instant and instead of fighting it I chose to embrace its light. I realised that for the last five months my love for Edward had manifested itself in my being as a harsh coldness, a painful wound. To think of him was to flood my heart with burning ice or to cruelly twist at the bleeding part of my soul. It felt good right now to experience my feelings for him in the wonderful joy and electricity that I once had been consumed by. Although in the back of my mind I knew it was foolish to entertain such emotions, at the same time I wanted to simply relinquish myself to them for just a moment.

Who knew how many more moments like this I would have.

As I stepped out of the house to join the others, I saw that Sam and Jacob stood just outside the front door. They appeared to be alone, but I caught glimpses of movement and sound beyond them in the forest so assumed there were more of them out there somewhere.

Carlisle was the first to speak and his words held no resentment or animosity, only respect and camaraderie

"Thank you for coming to see us. Have you had a chance to discuss the situation amongst yourselves?"

"Yes" Sam replied, returning Carlisle's tone with one that was equally respectful "And we agree that working together is in all of our interests at this point"

I heard a growl from the forest, indicating that Sam may have exaggerated when he said 'we all agree'.

"I know this may seem difficult" Carlisle reassured Sam "But our two families were once able to hold discussion and work together towards common goals. That was how our treaty was formed. I understand your feelings towards others of our kind, but we are different as you know. I hope that we can forge a strong working relationship and perhaps in time come to mutually respect one another"

Jacob let out a resounding "Ha!" and Sam silenced him with a reproachful look.

"Our only goal is to keep the people of this town safe Dr Cullen, and if you share that goal with us then I am most confident we will be able to work together respectfully" Sam replied cautiously.

"Excellent" Carlisle returned "You are most welcome to come inside where we can sit and discuss matters further if you wish"

Sam nodded and proceeded to walk towards us, Jacob in tow but glaring furiously at Edward and the others. Jacob was obviously less inclined to trust the Cullen's as Sam was, but was equally less inclined to argue against Sam's wishes.

Once inside Sam and Carlisle wasted no time in discussing strategy. Their main goal was to attempt to flush out Victoria and her partner. The werewolves along with Edward, Jasper and Emmett would act as scouts patrolling the woods and surrounding areas searching for any traces of disturbance or scent; Carlisle planned to contact all the vampires and covens he was acquainted with in the hopes that someone would have some knowledge or information that might shed light on either Victoria or her acquaintance; and Esme, Rosalie and Alice were to act as guards to protect both me and Charlie.

Carlisle had dug out an old map of the area and they were huddled around it, sketching out areas to cover.

I sat and watched them for a while. They were all so busy concentrating on the task at hand that I wondered with a smile if they would notice if Victoria strolled in right now and bit me right here on the couch.

Thinking of Victoria reminded me of the mystery Alice had mentioned earlier. What could have happened that had made the situation even more serious than it already was? My mind drew a complete blank when trying to think of any theories. Honestly, the situation was so serious I didn't actually think it was possible it could get much worse. But then again hadn't I thought things couldn't get much worse time and time again since the Cullen's first came back to town. And wasn't I proved wrong time and time again!

I started to get extremely impatient. Finally I couldn't take it anymore.

"Carlisle" I interrupted "You said earlier you were going to tell us what Alice meant by there being more to the story"

"Ah yes" Carlisle answered reluctantly and looked towards Sam and Jacob "It appears that the situation is a lot more complicated than we thought"

Sam and Jacob raised their eyebrows and for the first time the look of hatred left Jacob's face to be replaced by curiosity.

Alice suddenly appeared by my side and kissed my cheek.

"It's going to be ok Bella" she cooed in my ear. I knew she was trying to comfort me, but her show of support put me further into unease.

"Edward and Jasper investigated Mrs Crittle's house after the police officers had left and found something the police did not" Carlisle continued.

I looked at Edward and he simply stared at me with fear and pain in his eyes. My stomach began to heave and I didn't even know why yet.

"What did they find?" I ask in a faltering voice.

Carlisle looked at me with such regret in his eyes as he reached into his pocket and pulled out something. Holding it in front of me in the palm of his hand he asked "Do you recognise this Bella?"

I gasped and immediately heard the blood thunder and throb in my ears. My vision began to blacken and I thought that I was either going to throw up or enter into convulsions due to the intense panic that was gripping my body.

"What is it?" Jacob yelled loudly "What the hell have you shown her that has made her so terrified"

"It's m-m-m-my watch" I stuttered out.

"So that monster was in your house!!!" Jacob screamed, rising to his feet unable to contain his rage.

"Worse" I whispered. I was out of breathe and panting slightly, fighting as hard as I could not to faint "I took it off and put it beside my bed when I went to sleep last night..."

Jacob looked at me confused and I heard the others gasp.

"Don't you see" I yelled rising to my feet like Jacob had just done, not in agitation or anger but in consuming fear and panic "She was in my room! While I was asleep! She came into my room and took it from right beside where I lay sleeping!!! "

Everyone looked shocked and I assumed it was because of my reaction. Immediately I felt embarrassed and muttered an apology.

However, when Edward broke the silence I realised the shock was for a completely different reason.

"Your watch was beside your bed?" He raged and I could see that every inch of his body was tensed and strained.

"Yes" I answered confused "Where did you think it was from?"

Carlisle answered that "We assumed that she had been in your house while you and Charlie were out earlier in the day. We never once thought that she had gone into your room while you were..." Unable to finish the sentence, Carlisle sat back in his chair while covering his mouth with his hand. Despite his efforts to keep his voice low I heard him whisper "Oh dear lord".

The room was filled with a stunned silence. Jacob was the first to speak.

"I don't understand. Why didn't she just..." and even though he stopped short of saying it, everyone knew what the rest of that sentence would have been.

"Isn't it obvious" I said in a flat even tone, the false numbness of shock taking control of my body "She's playing with us, teasing us. She wants us to know that at any moment she could kill me, even right in front of your eyes, but that she has other plans in store before it reaches that point."

I drew further and further into myself as I tried to banish the thoughts of what those plans could be. My isolation was limitless as I realised that no one could stop her.

I once again was swallowed by the feeling of abandonment. This time it was the abandonment of all hope that I would get out of this alive. No one had left me, but no one could truly be there for me anymore either.

I was alone

And I was going to die.


	9. Chapter 9

"_Isn't it obvious" I said in a flat even tone, the false numbness of shock taking control of my body "She's playing with us, teasing us. She wants us to know that at any moment she could kill me, even right in front of your eyes, but that she has other plans in store before it reaches that point."_

_I drew further and further into myself as I tried to banish the thoughts of what those plans could be. My isolation was limitless as I realised that no one could stop her._

_I once again was swallowed by the feeling of abandonment. This time it was the abandonment of all hope that I would get out of this alive. No one had left me, but no one could truly be there for me anymore either._

_I was alone_

_And I was going to die._

Chapter Nine

Silence stretched out among us like a blanket, covering the room with a heavy atmosphere. No one moved an inch or a muscle and it seemed as if time was standing still.

I looked at Jacob, who was sitting directly across from me, and I wanted to reach out and touch him. He now looked like the 16 year old boy that he was. No longer the wise or strong man I had observed earlier in my kitchen, but a young and scared looking Jacob Black.

I wanted to say something, anything, to make this feeling of grief and fear disappear, but what could I say that would make a shred of difference. Nothing I could offer would change what was happening. Nothing I could do would take away the fate that was spinning ahead of us out of control.

Suddenly a booming snarl interrupted the stillness. Edward erupted in rage and desperation, punching the wall beside him and showering the room with plaster and paint.

"I don't believe I'm saying this" Jacob muttered quietly "But I'm with Edward on that one"

Edward spun to face Jacob with a murderous look.

"And where were you?" Edward bellowed at Jacob accusingly "How dare you say you're with me when you were right there and let that monster slip into to her room while she lay sleeping. It makes me sick to think..."

"How DARE YOU!" Jacob shot back, rising to his feet to meet Edwards stare with equal intensity "At least I was there. At least I've ALWAYS been there..."

"You sure have" Edward continued, his voice growing louder if that was indeed possible "you've been there for every stupid, dangerous stunt that Bella has pulled since I left. The only thing you've managed to do with consistency, dog, is put her in harm's way!"

"What I DID" Jacob hurled, now shaking with rage and dangerously close to losing control over himself "Is pull her back from the hell you sentenced her to when you discarded her like a piece of rubbish. If you're looking for a villain here bloodsucker I suggest you look no farther than yourself"

"STOP IT!" a shrieking voice pierced above Jacob's. Alice stood trembling in the middle of the room "It is unbelievable that you two can find the time to make this all about yourselves" she continued "I am just as terrified at what has been revealed here tonight, but my only thought is that we need to waste no more time with stupid selfish quarrels and instead have to concentrate on what's important...finding and killing Victoria"

At this I simply shook my head and muttered quietly "What's the use Alice. Why should you all put yourselves in harm's way to fight a losing battle?"

I looked up and locked eyes with Edward "Perhaps you should just let me go this time"

Edward looked at me as if I had stabbed him in the gut with a knife and was about to say something when Jacob forcefully spoke up.

"I don't know what planet your living on Bella, but if you think we are going to give up your completely insane. What would you do if it were me in this situation, or Charlie, or....Edward?" I opened my mouth to answer, but Jacob continued without waiting for reply "Don't say you would do nothing, because we all know what decision you made not long ago in Phoenix for your mother. I will not let you die, Bella, this world just isn't worth a damn without you in it!"

"This time" Edward croaked "I'm with you Jacob" He turned his back to us and walked to the far end of the room. There he leaned his forehead against the wall and stayed like that, motionless as a statue.

I looked around the room at all these amazing creatures who were willing to lay down their lives for me with no guarantees it would be of any use. I was overwhelmed by such love and devotion and began to cry with the beauty and torture of it all.

Burying my head in my hands, I felt a cool touch upon my shoulder and looked up into Emmett's sparkling eyes.

"I can't let you go Bella" he said quietly and seriously for once "Please don't give up on us kid. Where would be the fun of a world without you in it? We already tried that for five months and believe me it pretty much sucked"

Rosalie came to stand behind Emmett and for the second time today I was shocked to my core when she spoke "He was hell to be around without you Bella" she offered with a small smile, not quite warm but definitely defrosted "Please find the strength to help us fight this, because what happens to you will have consequences for us all"

I looked beside me to where Alice was now sitting. It was horrific to see the pain on her usually bright face.

"Please" she simply begged.

Experiencing such a united and forceful atmosphere of affection and commitment sparked something deep inside me. It wasn't hope that was blossoming now in the pit of my stomach, it was the determination to fight as hard as I could for every single solitary breath until I could no longer do so. I didn't have much faith that I would survive this, but I did have faith that I would fight to the bitter end to try and save my loved ones from the pain of loss.

I slowly nodded. "I suppose if anyone's had more practice of surviving almost certain death it's me" I finally said, attempting a smile "So why the hell not try"

When my cell phone rang I nearly leaped out of my skin and couldn't help but yelp in fright. Blushing from the embarrassment of my overreaction, I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and stared at the unknown number on the caller ID.

"Hello?" I asked hesitantly.

"Oh thank god you're ok!" Logan gushed from the earpiece "I've been trying to call you at home for ages. I finally got Charlie on his break and he gave me your cell number. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine...sorry I should have remembered you said you would call. I'm totally fine Logan, I'm at the Cullen's"

There was dead air for a while until Logan finally uttered "Oh...ok"

I was about to ask Logan why he sounded disappointed when I realised...it was only a few hours ago that Edward had put him in the hospital. Even though Logan seemed like the forgiving type I knew that it would be strange for him to have me spending time with Edward so soon after what had happened.

"Jacob had something urgent he needed to do and I'm still not too keen to be by myself at the moment" I offered in way of apology at my seeming lack of loyalty to Logan.

"Bella, you don't need to explain yourself to me" Logan replied quietly.

"I know, but I want to" I returned.

"Well, I'm glad that you've patched things up with Edward anyway" he continued.

"Don't get ahead of yourself" I chuckled, finding it easy to feel normal and weightless when talking to Logan "Is your sister ok?"

"Yeah, she was sleeping like a baby...a heavily medicated baby mind you" Logan chuckled back "When she woke up I managed to convince her to get away for a few days. I can't bear the thought of her being here so isolated and vulnerable while all this is going on, so I got hold of one of her old school buddies and she's heading out of state for a while"

"But you'll be all alone now" I said, my voice slightly rising. Although I knew that rationally his sister was pretty much useless for protection, knowing Logan was now completely alone panicked me. We were so alike that I couldn't help but think that our similarities might include that innate danger magnet I possessed.

"Ummmm" Logan stalled "Bella, it wasn't my idea honest and if you're not cool with it I'll understand, but when I talked to Charlie on the phone and explained my situation he offered me your couch while Lisa's away. He said it would make him feel better when he has to go to work to think that there was someone else in the house with you."

I inwardly groaned. Having to hide or subtly conduct conversations that involved vampires and werewolves for the next few days was going to be hard. It also meant that I wouldn't be free to come here or La Push when the need arose. But on the good side it meant I would have no opportunity to sink into deep self-pity or inertia. Furthermore, I knew in my heart I couldn't abandon Logan and was surprised at how much I felt compelled to protect him. I had only known him a few days and yet he was already deeply etched into my heart.

"Of course you can stay" I replied "give me a call before you leave and I'll make sure I'm home"

"No worries" Logan replied cheerfully "Charlie's home for the next few hours and I've promised him a spin in the old Cadillac. Take your time"

As I hung up I knew there was no need to recap the conversation for the others. One of the bonuses of hanging out with the other-worldly was their super hearing.

"Are you kidding me?" Rosalie said, obviously irritated "as if our situation isn't complicated enough, now we have another stupid human to look out for"

"We owe Logan" Alice said giving Edward a warning look "This could be our way of making up to him what happened yesterday"

Emmett, now seeming very much back to normal, let out a loud whoop and clapped his hands together "You mean the boy who is staying at Bella's is the same one Edward pummelled!"

"It was an accident" Edward spat between his teeth, turning to face the room again.

"I knew you were good Bella" Emmett continued, delighted by what had just unfolded "But I didn't know you were that good!"

I looked at him confused.

"At making things as amusing as possible! This is going to be so much fun" and he started clapping his hands together again.

"He's a liability" Edward said with disgust "Bella needs to get rid of him as soon as possible"

"You're just pissy because someone who's got the hots for Bella will be cosying up to her in his PJs each night" Emmett provoked, but before he could laugh or clap again Edward's fist hit him hard against the side of his head sending him flying.

Esme immediately rushed to Edward and held him by his shoulders "Enough son, you need to get a grip on yourself. I understand emotions are high, but we need to keep our heads"

"Let him have her" Rosalie snarled at Edward while she clung to Emmett, who was still lying on the floor in surprise "It's about time you both got over your pathetic romance"

"Excuse me" I interrupted, finding a renewed strength and confidence from anger "But for the second time this week I take exception to being discussed as if I was a piece of property to be sold or bought. And anyway, Logan does _not_ have 'the hots' for me, he is simply a good friend"

"Ha!" Emmett shouted, bracing himself for another blow as he continued "you forget someone's ability to be able to read minds. It's been driving him _mental_ all week and he won't shut up about it!"

Edward lunged for Emmett, but both Rosalie and Esme stood in the way. Edward hissed under his breath and without looking at anyone stormed out of the room and upstairs, slamming his bedroom door with a force that shook the entire house.

I heard chuckling from the other couch and focussed my attention towards Jacob. He simply said "told you so" amidst laughter and a cheeky wink.

I buried my head in my hands with embarrassment over what had just taken place. In the quiet of my thoughts I felt something else creep in though. Something fluttering and leaping deep within my stomach. This wasn't the itch of anxiety or the pangs of nausea. These were the wings of excitement and hope.

Edward was jealous, that was why he didn't like Logan. Jealousy doesn't rise from indifference or distaste. It arises from desire or love.

The heat within me I had felt earlier when Edward had pulled me aside intensified and I felt myself smiling despite the horrid situation I was in.

Perhaps he still loved me. Perhaps, before I die, I would once more get to see the look of passion and compassion on Edwards's face that I had dreamt of seeing for five long months.

As the others regrouped and began once again to discuss the matter of Victoria, I slowly uncovered my face to look at Alice. She had a sly smile etched across her features and raised her eyebrows teasingly.

Turning to look at Jacob, however, my joy immediately vanished. He was looking down at his hands, no longer showing the amusement he had only a few seconds ago. Instead he looked sad and defeated. I hoped that it was the return to the topic of Victoria that had Jacob looking so downtrodden and not my reaction to the revelation of Edward's jealousy.

I crept over to Jacob and sat at his feet, resting my head against his knees.

"I'm sorry for giving up on you before" I whispered.

He leaned down so that our faces were only inches away.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I lost faith in you and the others to be able to fight this and win, and I'm sorry. I should of never have doubted you"

Jacob messed up my hair and smiled "No you shouldn't have"

I closed my eyes and relaxed into Jacob's warmth.

All of a sudden he stiffened. At the same time the room burst into activity around me. Opening my eyes I could see everyone looking towards the front door with concern. Carlisle, Sam and Jacob rose to their feet and started to walk to the door, Edward flying down the stairs to join them.

"Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"Victoria" Edward answered gravely.

"No" I gasped and started trembling. I looked around me in desperation searching for something to grab to stop myself from losing control. Edward was quickly at my side, crouching down to where I sat on the floor and had taken hold of my hands.

I stared at our entwined hands through the crystal glitter of my half-formed tears incredulously. They fitted so perfectly together and it felt like coming home after a long journey.

How could something that felt this right have turned out so wrong?

"Bella" Edward's voiced pierced through my muddled brain "I'm so sorry, I should have made myself clear. You're in no danger. Victoria isn't here. What I meant was that two of the werewolves have turned up hurriedly to the house with news of Victoria"

I could do nothing but stare at our hands, still clutching at one another, in self-pity and regret.

"Bella?" Edward said, frightened by my lack of response "Please look at me"

And when I did what I saw made the tears that verged dangerously on the lids of my eyes spill over with force. He was looking at me with such pained tenderness, with such sincere concern, that it hurt to see. It hurt because soon he would be gone again or I would be dead. The look on his face right now was a reminder of how much I wanted him to love me, need me and be with me, and how much it hurt to not have those wishes fulfilled.

As our eyes locked, for the first time since he had returned I allowed my face to show him what resided in my heart and soul. The pain, the hope, the grief, the love and the terror...all was bared naked to him. The walls protecting my fractured heart had crumbled and here it now was exposed and vulnerable in his hands.

"Bella" Edward groaned. His voice was thick with pain mixed with some other guttural emotion. For a few seconds I let myself believe it was longing.

He leaned forward letting go of my hands and raised his arms as if he were about to pull me into an embrace.

My stomach lurched with disappointment when I saw the look on his face change from concern to regret. One hand returned to his side, the other he ran through his hair in aggravation.

He shook his head and whispered "I'm sorry".

I wasn't sure whether he was sorry for scaring me or for almost holding me. Before I could figure it out he had stood up and was heading towards the door once again.

My tears, cold and wet on my face, stung with the bitterness of Edward's rejection.

I felt cold arms encircle my body and looked up at Emmett's face. He smiled warmly down at me and said "Shall we go find out what all the excitement is about?"

"Why not" I replied wearily and we headed out towards the others.

Quil and Paul stood just outside the front door looking flushed with exertion and excitement.

"We almost had her!" Quil shouted to Sam while pacing back and forth, clearly energised by what had taken place "we picked up her scent a few miles from the city limits and followed it for about 10 minutes before we spotted her"

"We chased her for a good 30 miles and at one point I almost had her" Paul interjected, clearly frustrated by what had taken place "But then this idiot" he continued scowling at Quil "came crashing into me and she was able to get away from us"

'Where did she go?" Sam asked, ever calm and in control.

They both just shook their heads.

"No idea sorry Sam" Quil answered apologetically "she's a slippery wee thing. She definitely headed further away from town though so if we can keep the borders guarded then we have a good chance of keeping her at a distance from Forks for the time being"

Sam nodded his head "Good work" he said reassuringly "Even though you couldn't catch her at least you've given us some time and distance"

"Humph" Paul snorted, obviously displeased with how today's events had turned.

"Was she alone?" Carlisle asked.

"Yeah" Quil replied "There was no sign of anyone else, so that mystery second vampire is probably still somewhere around here"

"Why do you think you were able to pick up her scent now, when you couldn't even see her last night?" Edward asked concerned.

"Bella had an idea" Jacob answered in a thoughtful tone "She thought that maybe Victoria's buddy was like a shield, protecting them from detection. If she wasn't with her friend, she wouldn't have had their protection"

"You could be on to something there Bella, very smart!" Carlisle said approvingly.

"Perhaps we need to split into two teams" Sam said turning to face the Cullen's " One team can patrol the borders in search of Victoria, the other will continue to search in the city limits for her companion. I know that it seems pointless to look for her friend at the moment, given our suspicions, but we can at least try"

As they began to discuss strategy again, Jacob walked towards me and enveloped me in a hug.

"See I told you" he murmured in my ear "We're going to get her and you're going to be fine"

I hugged him back and breathed in his optimism and faith "Perhaps your right"

"Ha!" Jacob scoffed "No perhaps about it"

"Jacob" Carlisle called out as he walked towards us "It might be wise to take Bella home now. I can only imagine that we will need to ferry her around a bit when things get more eventful and so it would be good to take this welcome reprieve from danger to have Bella spend some time at home. I'm sure Charlie is going to get both suspicious and difficult if things don't appear to run in the area of normality for a little while"

Jacob nodded at Carlisle.

"I'll need to run home and get my car so that Charlie doesn't wonder how we got home. Will you be ok here for a little while?" He asked.

"Of course" I replied confused "Why wouldn't I be?"

I followed Jacob's eyes to Edward, who was engrossed in conversation with Sam and Emmett.

"I'll be fine" I said weakly.

"Bella" Jacob said sternly "You shouldn't allow yourself to be hurt by him like you do. It makes me crazy to see the happiness on your face when he merely looks in your direction. Especially since it's always followed by pain when he constantly lets you down" Jacob shrugged before continuing "He's not good enough for you Bella. _He_ knows it and hopefully it's only a matter of time before you realise it too"

Edward was now staring at us and I saw his lips move muttering something that I was too far away to hear.

"That's what you think leech" I heard Jacob mutter under his breath.

"I wish you wouldn't do that" I whispered annoyed "It's not polite to leave me out of conversations like that. What did he say?"

Jacob looked at me embarrassed and instead of replying leaned over to kiss my forehead "Nothing but rubbish" he winked and then ran off in the direction of La Push to fetch his car.

Alice bounded to my side, returned to her usual exuberant self by the turn of events. She smiled at me and brushed a few stray strands of hair from my face.

"It's going to be ok Bella" she said nodding her head emphatically "I may not be able to see it, but I can feel it in my bones"

I smiled in return and had to admit to myself I felt the same. Victoria was vulnerable without her companion and if we could keep her separated from whoever it was for long enough there was a chance of defeating her.

The companion was another story, however, but until we found out more regarding who it was there was no use in overdramatizing the danger they posed.

I looked over to the others and noticed they had already begun to head off into the forest, the werewolves one way and the Cullen's the other.

"Their leaving already?" I asked disappointed. Even though I knew it would probably be fruitless I had really wanted to talk to Edward again.

"No time to waste" Alice replied cheerfully "there's a lot to do"

"Yes" Carlisle answered "I will get started on digging for information as to who Victoria's friend is. Alice, Esme and Rosalie will be watching over you Bella, along with a few members of the Quileute pack. I promise we'll keep you in the loop of any discoveries we make"

"Thanks" I replied and walked to the steps outside the front door to sit and wait for Jacob.

Esme came to sit with me and absentmindedly rubbed the length of my arms in a motherly gesture.

"Esme?" I asked.

"Yes Bella?" she replied, fixing her warm and loving eyes on mine.

"Did you really miss me?" My voice was far more vulnerable and shaky than I would have liked it to have been.

"You have no idea" she said, cupping my face in her hands.

"Did....did _he_ miss me?" I continued, sounding like a little girl desperate for reassurance.

"You have no idea" she murmured and then pulled me close into her arms.

We sat like that in silence for the remainder of the wait.

I felt loved.

I felt protected.

I felt home.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Ok so here it is. I was a bit nervous about posting this one because it's basically a verbal chapter with not a lot of action. I am really interested in what you think of it, hopefully it wasn't too boring. I just wanted to explore the characters a bit more (something that is hard to do when writing solely from Bella's point of view). Anyway, here it is!

I don't own Twilight etc etc

**End of Last Chapter:**

_Esme came to sit with me and absentmindedly rubbed the length of my arms in a motherly gesture._

"_Esme?" I asked._

"_Yes Bella?" she replied, fixing her warm and loving eyes on mine._

"_Did you really miss me?" My voice was far more vulnerable and shaky than I would have liked it to have been. _

"_You have no idea" she said, cupping my face in her hands._

"_Did....did he miss me?" I continued, sounding like a little girl desperate for reassurance._

"_You have no idea" she murmured and then pulled me close into her arms._

_We sat like that in silence for the remainder of the wait._

_I felt loved._

_I felt protected._

_I felt home__._

Chapter Ten

I was disappointed as Jacob's rabbit eased up the driveway to take me home. It had seemed like only seconds ago that he had left and I was reluctant to leave the comfortable tenderness of Esme's company. I was even more reluctant to go play 'normal human' with Charlie and Logan with everything that was unfolding around me.

Jacob extended his massive frame out of the car and leaned across its roof looking a million times more confident than he had earlier in the house.

"You ready Bella?" he asked.

I gave a small and hesitant nod in return. The truth be told, I was terrified. Even though presently the Cullen's and the pack could offer me only limited protection, it was scary to think I would soon be solely in the company of completely helpless humans.

Carlisle was right though, Charlie wouldn't tolerate my scattered and erratic behaviour for much longer and if I didn't try to appease his concerns now he may end up confining me to the house indefinitely. If that happened I knew I would go into frenzy like a caged animal, terrified and trapped within the comfort of my own home.

"We're never leaving your side remember" Alice whispered in my ear as I got into the car.

"I love you Alice" I whispered back kissing her on the cheek.

She smiled in return and blew me a kiss as we drove away from the house.

"Can't wait to get out there and kick some vampire ass!" Jacob said excitedly as we were heading home.

I looked at him and immediately felt concerned.

Although he was the height and strength of someone much older, he was still only a 16 year old boy. His face may sometimes appear confident and wise, but underneath all the gifts being a werewolf gave to him he was still the sweet and innocent Jacob Black that I had grown to love with all my heart. It made me sick to think of him setting off eagerly to take on a woman who had been a sadistic and dangerous murderer for god knows how long. Although Jacob may come close to matching her in strength, he had decades to go before he would be able to match her in experience or lethality and I prayed he would never match her in the amount of evil that resided in her heart. That evilness, more than anything else, made her the most formidable enemy...if there was nothing that you wouldn't do, the territory of your cruelty would be limitless.

"Bella, would you stop looking so serious all the time! You're going to give yourself premature wrinkles!" Jacob joked.

"Just be careful Jake" I said quietly "You don't know what she's capable of. She's a complete monster and your...well, you're not"

Jacob shook his head "What would you do to protect the ones you love Bella? How strong and determined would you be if someone you loved was threatened? Don't underestimate me Bella. I may seem naive, but believe me when I say I am deadly serious about ripping Victoria to shreds"

I shuddered at the tone in Jacob's voice. It was dark and desolate. Looking at his tightly clenched square jaw and strong muscular hands gripping the steering wheel I was struck by the fear that to catch a monster one might need to become one.

"Please remember who you are Jacob. You are not a monster like her"

Jacob pondered my statement for a little while before offering a reply.

"I'm doing this to save a life Bella, not take one. There's a big difference there"

"I know. I'm just really afraid Jacob" I sighed clenching my eyes tightly shut.

"Don't be Bella, like I said, with Victoria's friend gone..."

"No Jake" I interrupted "I'm afraid that what I'm asking of you will change you. That, when all this is over, I won't see _my_ Jacob...that you will be different"

Jacob shot me a look out of the corner of his eye and smiled.

"Bella, you liked me as a dorky 15 year old. You liked me as a broody newly-made werewolf. You like me now as the glorious beast that I am" he said, laughing at his last statement "So why won't you like me after all this is over?"

He was right. He had changed so much since I had first returned to Forks. My soul recognised the essence of him even when everything else about him had changed. My soul would always find _my_ Jacob Black, of that I was almost certain.

"Besides" Jacob continued, reaching over to mess up my hair for the second time today "I'm so fantastic that you couldn't stop loving me if you tried!"

I was still smiling at his last comment when he muttered quietly "and if you stopped loving me, I'll travel the ends of the earth to find a way to make you love me again"

I was taken back by the seriousness and passion of his last statement and I realised I had been underestimating Jacob all this time. Although he may be young, he had an old soul and a wise head on his shoulders. He was an extraordinary individual and that was why we had forged such a strong and deep friendship to begin with.

"I was stupid to worry Jacob" I said reassuringly "Who you are is beautiful and limitless. How could I ever think something as revolting as Victoria could taint that?"

"You've made a few bad calls in the last year" Jacob retorted with a sly smile "So what's one more?"

I gave him a small playful punch on the shoulder and looked up just in time to see we were outside my house.

Charlie's cruiser wasn't in the driveway, but the lights were on.

Entering the house we struck by the most horrific smell. The best way to describe it was burnt flesh and plastic mixed with cleaning product.

My heart started to beat frantically with fear.

"What's that smell?" I whispered to Jacob grabbing his hand.

"That smell" Logan's voice yelled from the kitchen "is dinner"

Jacob and I exchanged an amused look and walked in to the kitchen to see Logan wearing an apron and gloves, prodding at something in the sink I _assumed_ would once have been a living creature, but was now a stinking black mound.

"What is _that_?" I asked laughing.

"A roast chicken?" Logan replied with a comical look on his face.

"I don't believe you" Jacob said shaking his head "That thing could never have originated from this planet!"

"Believe it my friend" Logan laughed back "Charlie has been fielding calls from frightened little old ladies hearing murderers in their house all day. He's down at some poor old ditties as we speak, checking her attic for bloodthirsty monsters, so I thought I'd do something nice for you guys and cook dinner"

"Do you hate us that much" I giggled, joining Logan at the sink to stare in wonderment at the creation lying there.

"Well...it was frozen so I decided to crank up the oven to cook it faster"

"How high did you crank it up?" I asked, wondering how on earth his attempt at cooking could have gone so horribly wrong.

"As far as it can go" Logan replied.

"Makes sense I suppose" I played along "But what's that smell?"

Logan looked sheepishly back down at the poor bird "I forgot to take the plastic off it first"

"Yeah, that one gets even the best of chefs so I'm told" I teased and the room was filled with the sweet and foreign sound of laughter.

"Let me see what's in the cupboards" I said with a smile.

"No need" Logan replied "Charlie's bringing home food from the diner. And he's given me strict instructions never to enter the kitchen again!"

"Wise man" Jacob chuckled.

"Did you boys have fun in the Cadillac today?" I asked, remembering my earlier discussion with Logan.

"Naw" he replied disappointed "Charlie was so busy with frightened old ladies that we didn't get time. Tomorrow first thing we've got a date with the open road though"

"Just remember to keep your hands to yourself! Last time I saw you, you were all over it!" Jacob teased and once again we fell into easy laughter.

Just like last night, we found ourselves slipping into light and enjoyable chatter despite the issues that were swirling around us. Every now and then I caught Jacob looking out the window with a serious look on his face, but he seemed for the most part to be having fun around Logan. It was hard not to. Once you got past the shy and nervous exterior, he was extremely funny and exceptionally warm.

Once Charlie got home with dinner, Jacob made a hasty exit. I wanted so badly to hug him and plead with him to be careful, but didn't want to draw suspicion. I settled for an exchange of knowing looks and a caring smile.

"Soooo" Charlie drawled between mouthfuls of dinner "What are you two up to this evening, any plans?"

He looked directly at me and I knew that this was his subtle way of asking whether I had any plans to run off mysteriously again to the Cullen's. Charlie may not like to pry into my life too much, but I knew I had been pushing his limits of tolerance. I could only imagine how curious and probably infuriating my behaviour had seemed to him lately.

"No plans" I muttered.

"Good" Charlie said abruptly, leaning back in his chair and wiping his mouth with a napkin "A nice quiet finish to the weekend is what we all need I think"

I caught Logan's eye and saw that this unspoken discussion between Charlie and I had not gone unnoticed.

"Charlie" He spoke up "Are you still keen to take a spin in the Cadillac tomorrow morning?"

I silently thanked him for shifting the topic and he smiled in return.

"You bet" Charlie said while stretching his arms and yawning violently "Wouldn't miss it for the world. But for now, I think I need to hit the hay. You kids ok to clean up?"

"If I'm allowed in the kitchen" Logan joked.

"Hmmm" Charlie said thoughtfully while heading to his room "Bella, don't take your eyes off him for a second! I thought I had my hands full with you, but this one...." he let his sentence trail off as he headed off for a well-deserved and extremely needed rest.

"So" Logan said hesitantly as we were doing the dishes "How are you?"

"I'm fine" I said weakly. There were so many different possible answers to his question and I didn't know which one he wanted to hear.

"Ok" he said quietly.

I had offended him with my reluctance to talk and I immediately felt bad. If I could, I would tell Logan everything right now. I so wanted to share with someone who didn't have any hidden agendas or deadly secrets, but it was impossible.

"Well" I began, not knowing where this conversation would lead me "Things are pretty weird, but I'm trying my hardest to cope"

"You don't have to tell me anything Bella, I'm not offended if you would rather not" Logan replied.

"Thank you Logan, it's just that it's really very complicated and to tell you the truth a lot of it is not my story to tell"

Logan stopped washing and turned to look at me. As our eyes locked I felt something unexpected. A spark, a flash of something. I didn't know what it was and I could of just been reading more into it because of what Emmett had revealed earlier, but nonetheless my heart started to beat a little faster than it had just before.

"I'm only interested in how you are Bella" Logan said seriously, staring intensely into my eyes "That may or may not involve an explanation of why you are feeling that way, but it makes no matter to me. All I see is a fantastic girl who seems to be so worried and stressed, and it really hurts to see that. You don't owe many explanations or stories, I'm just offering you my support and friendship. No questions asked" and then he flashed me a winning smile.

"What kind of friendship is that?" I asked sadly, aware of how little I could offer Logan in terms of mutual trust and sharing.

"The true kind" Logan answered "I think back to things between me and my mom before she died. I learnt that what you say is pretty insignificant in comparison to simply being there, being involved. I can't really remember any big conversations with mom, but I can definitely remember moments when we simply were there for each other. For instance, I remember sitting beside her on the hospital bed laughing at an old episode of Seinfeld one night. I remember it because she seemed so sad that day and she really needed something to make her smile. We didn't talk about what she was going through, it would of only made us both more upset and frightened. We simply sat there and laughed together. It was what she needed and it was what I could offer her"

"But you told me that you were angry your mother didn't tell you how sick she was" I said "So you _did_ want to know"

Logan gave me a small smile "I'm angry and upset _now_" he said quietly "but I didn't waste any time when she was alive being angry and upset with her and for that I'm thankful"

"How did you get so wise?" I asked Logan shaking my head.

"Don't be fooled" he said, a violent blush staining his face "I'm a complete idiot when it comes to some things"

"Do tell" I prompted, dying to know where the chink was in his impressive armour.

He gave a little laugh and then started washing the dishes again. "Girls" he muttered quietly.

"Elaborate?" I pried, internally scalding myself. Despite knowing what Emmett had told me and wanting to avoid any more complications in my relationship with Logan, I couldn't help but want to know what he was thinking. I wondered if it was vanity or stupidity, perhaps both.

He heaved a huge sigh and let the water out of the sink "I'm the 'always the friend, never the boyfriend' type" he said "Maybe that's why I get along so well with Jacob" and he looked directly at me with his intense green eyes before heading into the living room.

This time it was my face to stain scarlet. I stood at the bench searching for something to say when Logan spoke first.

"Mind numbing television m'lady?" he asked in an English accent, waving the television remote in the air from the living room.

"Why I thought you'd never ask sir" I mimicked back in a truly awful attempt of a southern drawl.

With the tension dispelled we proceeded to gorge ourselves on truly awful reality television. During one particularly awful show, I stole a glance at Logan who was transfixed by the programme on the screen. I noticed how handsome he was and could see why most of the girls at school were already planning their wedding to him. Not only was he handsome, but he was a truly beautiful soul as well. The feelings I had for him were beginning to run deep and it made me scared. Would he be just like Jacob? Would he want more from me than I could give him? Would he pull me in a direction that would end up hurting other people that I love just as much?

I shook my head as I wondered how on earth I could have managed to make the simplest relationship in my life complicated. It truly was an art.

"Bella?" Logan asked, preventing me from drowning in my thoughts.

"Yes Logan?"

"Why are you sitting there in the dark shaking your head like a crazy woman?"

I burst out laughing and he did the same. It was almost as if he sensed that I was falling into distressing thoughts and pulled me clear of them just in time.

"Because I _am_ crazy" I replied.

"Oh well that explains it then" Logan retorted "Good to know" and he returned to stare at the television with a smile stretched across his face.

"Actually Logan, I think I better head off to bed. It's been a long week and I want to have at least one productive day before school on Monday"

I was desperate to get away from Logan right now before my thoughts got any more dangerous and ridiculous.

"Good idea" Logan replied, starting to stretch himself out on the couch "I was getting pretty tired myself and didn't want to have to kick you out of your own living room!"

"Goodnight Logan" I said quietly, stopping to pat him on the leg before I left the room.

He grabbed my hand and it scared me to feel the electricity spark between us. It was if I was being drawn into his warmth and I gasped.

He immediately dropped my hand and looked down to the floor.

"Sorry if I frightened you" he muttered.

"You didn't frighten me Logan" I said quickly "I'm just a little jumpy lately"

His gaze returned to my face and once again I felt drawn in by him "I don't blame you with what happened last night" He said "I just wanted to thank you for letting me into your house and your life. Your friendship really means a lot to me right now"

I nodded "Yours means a lot to me too Logan. See you in the morning"

And I quickly raced off up to my room before Logan could see the blush that once again stained my face.

Once in my room I closed the door and lent my forehead against the cold wood. My mind and my heart were racing and I felt myself begin to cry yet again.

What the hell was I thinking?

How could I begin to entertain thoughts of someone else when I was still completely in love with Edward? How could I think of another boy like that when I had already denied Jacob the chance to take Edward's place? It made no sense that I would feel like this, and yet on the other hand it made complete sense. Here was someone that could possibly take me away from all the drama, fear and heartache that I had been wading through for the last year. Logan was just a boy and perhaps with him I could be just a girl.

I shook my head, still leaning against the door, to clear that thought. I would never be just a girl again. Edward had changed me in ways that I knew would never be able to be reversed. It made no difference if I could love Logan, or Jacob for that matter, in the way they wanted me to. I was forever damaged, broken and there was no way I would drag another beautiful soul down with me into my darkness. From a distance they could hold my hand and keep me from falling into the abyss, but the moment I started holding their hand back I was sure they would be dragged down under the weight of my pain with me.

Closing my eyes I turned my back to the door and slid down to the ground, covering my face with my hands and sobbing silently.

My heart was physically hurting from the ache and loss I felt and my body was literally burning from the rage I held towards Edward for causing me to feel this way. As much as I still loved him, I also despised him for letting me love him when he knew that he couldn't love me back. With all the restraint he had mastered through years of avoiding human friendship and blood, why had he not shown the same control when playing with my emotions? Why had he let me in when he knew all along he would just end up having to shut me out?

I curled into a ball on the ground and abandoned myself to despair, knowing that tomorrow morning I would have to wake up and play happy human again. I would give myself tonight, in the privacy of my own room, the right to let myself feel this way. The right to feel grief, rage, despair and self-pity. This night only, I promised myself, and then no more tears.

I would have barely noticed I was moving, the movement was so soft and fluid, if it hadn't been for the coldness I felt across my body. Opening my eyes I realised I was in Edwards arms and he was carrying me towards the bed. The coldness I had felt was his strong body pressed against mine, his gentle arms holding me to him.

He sat me down carefully on the bed and then gasped when he noticed I was looking right at him.

"Sorry Bella" he whispered, taking a few quick steps away from me "Forgive me, I thought you were asleep"

I shook my head but said nothing.

I could do nothing but stare at him. He looked so beautiful standing here in my room. It was every secret wish and dream of mine come true. Only, I knew that in reality he was actual my worst nightmare in every sense of the word.

"No....I don't think so....well maybe I did fall asleep. Ummm, I'm not too sure" I managed to croak out, my voice heavy with the tears I had cried and my brain muddled with confusion.

Edward looked extremely amused and his eyes sparkled "You were snoring Bella" he teased.

"Oh" I said embarrassed, blushing yet again "How long were you in my room?"

This time Edward looked embarrassed and he shuffled slightly on his feet "Not long, I came to speak to the girls and..."

He trailed off, not wanting to finish his sentence.

"And what?" I insisted.

"And they told me you had been crying and had fallen asleep on the floor" he looked straight up into my eyes with heavy emotion "I didn't want you to sleep on the floor" he said softly, but it seemed to me like he was actually saying something completely different.

"Thanks" I whispered back, unable to respond with anything else.

Edward sighed, rubbing his hands down the sides of his thighs in an absentminded fashion and then came to sit beside me on the bed.

He was so close and I entertained the thought of reaching out and touching him, but I was as stiff as a plank, unable to move or speak. I could only stare at him with confusion, fear and hope.

"I'm sorry Bella" he said finally "For everything. I know it sounds pretty insignificant, but I truly am" Our eyes locked again and my heart started racing off the charts. I had felt drawn in by Logan, but I was being sucked in at the speed of lightning by Edward.

"Do you think you could possibly try not to do that?" Edward said with a lopsided grin "it makes it very difficult for me to concentrate"

I looked at him startled and confused "Do what?" I asked.

"That" he said, lifting one finger and placing it on the skin above my heart and tapping to mimic my heartbeat.

At this my entire body went crazy. Not only did my heart accelerate even more, but my body gravitated towards him, leaning in closer with every shaky breath. My head began to tip back slightly so that my neck elongated and stretched out towards him. My eyes closed and my lips parted in surrender and desire. Everything physical about me was buzzing with electricity, excitement and yearning.

As my brain finally caught up with my body I began to feel extremely embarrassed at my reaction. However, before I could open my eyes I felt icy fingers trail a path along my neck, starting from just under the jaw line and coming to rest lightly on my collarbone. I could hear Edwards faltered breath and could feel his body shifting closer to mine. Another cold hand gently cupped the side of my face, the thumb rubbing soothingly across my cheekbone still damp from tears.

Tears.

At the reminder of that my eyes flicked open to take in Edwards face mere inches away from mine, his eyes brimming with emotion.

"Why?" I whispered.

"Why what" He whispered back.

"Why, when you live your life will an iron will of restraint, did you give in and let me love you only to break my heart?"

He reeled back as if I had slapped him, then looked away to stare straight ahead with the most pained look on his face. I could see he was attempting to steady his breath again and once he had he stood up from the bed and walked across to the corner of the room. Only when he was as far away from me as possible did he turn to face me again.

"Your right Bella" He said quietly "I had no right to do that to you. It wasn't fair. Thank you for reminding me of how weak and thoughtless I can be sometimes"

I looked down at my hands and bit my lip to stop from crying again with disappointment "Your welcome I guess" I said bitterly.

When I looked up at him, he once again had a confused look on his face.

Desperate to put an end to this uncomfortable moment I decided to turn the topic onto something less fraught with broken hearts and unrequited love.

"What did you need to tell the girls?" I asked.

Edward relaxed at the change of topic "Actually, Carlisle has uncovered something that may have some bearing on the situation. We're not too sure yet, but it may be important"

My eyes widened in anticipation and I leaned forward on the bed "What?" I gasped.

"He spoke this evening with the Denali coven in Alaska. They informed him that one of their acquaintances, a woman named Alicia, has gone missing in the last month."

"Do you know her?" I asked.

"No" he replied shaking his head and lowering himself to sit in the chair just beside him "I'd never even heard her mentioned before. She's even news to Carlisle. Apparently over a century ago she went into hiding. At that time she was being hunted by the Volturi"

I remembered the name Volturi from a conversation Edward and I had before he left. From the sounds of it they were definitely not someone you wanted hunting you.

"Why did they want to hurt her" I asked.

"Carlisle doesn't think they wanted to hurt her, he thinks they wanted her to join them. Nobody in the Denali coven could be sure because she is so secretive, but they believe she had a power that was quite impressive and that the Volturi wanted her gift at their disposal"

"What was her power?" I asked my mind racing with possibilities.

"Again, nobody knows for sure but they seem to think that it has something to do with blocking other's powers"

Could this missing Alicia be Victoria's new friend?

"So that could be who is stopping Alice's visions and hiding Victoria from you!"

I was confused when Edward frowned and shook his head.

"The Denali's don't seem to think that's possible. You see she was hiding from the Volturi because of her chosen lifestyle"

I looked at Edward confused and shook my head indicating I didn't know what he was implying.

"She's vegetarian like us" he continued "and from the sounds of it would never willingly hurt another person. To run from the Volturi is not a wise idea, so her convictions and moral compass must be extremely strong in order for her to do so. If someone is brave enough to say no to the Volturi, then why on earth would they say yes to Victoria?"

"So it's not her?" I asked disappointed.

"There's more though that makes the picture less clear" Edward continued "She visited the Denali's once when Laurent was staying with them and apparently invited him to stay with her for a while until he had greater control over his urges to drink blood. Because she lives so far away from anything and anyone, she thought it might help Laurent to enforce himself to isolation until he felt more confident about his control over his thirst. No one knows whether Laurent actually took her up on her offer, but she has failed to keep in touch like she usually does and all attempts to try and contact her have failed."

My mind was spinning with hypotheses and ideas "Is it possible Laurent became her mate and she has now joined with Victoria to seek revenge?"

"Maybe" Edward answered "We don't know. The Denali's describe her as some kind of saint, that she could willingly do no harm to a soul. They are not stupid Bella, they don't throw their trust at just anyone and so that has made Carlisle wonder if this _is_ just merely a coincidence"

"What do you think?" I asked, staring deep into Edward's eyes

"I think" Edward answered quietly "that love can make you do things, stupid things, which you never thought you could ever be capable of. It can make you become the monster that you never wanted to be. So yes, it is possible that this is more than a coincidence"

I nodded and then looked away. I didn't want Edward to see the pain in my eyes. He had already referred to me as a 'mess' he needed to clean up, now he was telling me that what had happened between us was stupid.

I didn't care that he felt remorse about what he had done. I didn't want to hear how disappointed he was in himself that he had done it. I didn't want to be his stupid mess. Not only was it painful, it was degrading and humiliating. Over the last week I had already embarrassed myself through my repeated quickness to show weakness and vulnerability and quite frankly I was done with that. I didn't want to see the Bella that was reflected in the gaze of vampires or werewolves, the weak, frightened and emotionally fragile Bella that needed protecting.

All of a sudden I realised why I might be drawn so strongly towards Logan at the moment. In his eyes my image was strong, powerful, and vitally vibrant. Was I gravitating towards him because I so desperately wanted to be what he saw me as instead of how they looked upon me?

I was neither image though. Not thoroughly fragile, but more fractured than whole. I was in limbo and could not picture a time in the future when I would be able to jump off the fence I was sitting on and occupy a solid standing on either side.

"Bella?" Edward asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes" I replied, returning my gaze to where he sat stoically.

"Why were you crying before?" he asked, his voice full of concern and hesitation.

"I wasn't" I replied quickly, raising my chin defiantly.

"Yes you were" Edward continued with a hint of smile on his face.

"And how would you know?" I snapped at him.

"Well, firstly Alice heard you crying. Secondly you're a bad actress and thirdly, your face is all puffy and swollen and your nose is slightly running"

I gasped in horror and flung my hands to touch my face. He was right and I wished the ground would open up and swallow me right now.

"Uggh, I must look a mess" I said despairingly to myself.

"Actually, you look quite lovely" Edward said sweetly and softly, warmed by the amusement he was getting from my embarrassed reaction.

"I wasn't talking to you" I shot at him.

"But I replied nonetheless" he smirked.

"Whatever" I retorted like a sulky child.

"But you do" he continued, cocking his head slightly to one side "you look..." and he stopped himself from completing the sentence but kept his eyes on me with a look of approval and amusement.

"What?" I bit at him, my anger bubbling up.

"Have I ever mentioned how cute you are when you're angry...like a grumpy kitten" he chuckled.

"Have I ever mentioned how arrogant and smug and completely inappropriate you can be?" I replied.

"No you haven't" He answered "But it's good to know. Now, are you going to tell me what has got you so upset?"

"No" I replied like a defiant five year old "my life, and my heart, are no longer any of your business"

"You're wrong" Edward replied huskily, leaning forward in his chair.

I shook my head "Not tonight I'm not Edward." I warned "I think you should go now"

He shook his head also, but stood to leave nonetheless.

"I'll come back tomorrow with an update on things" He said lightly.

"Can't you send someone else?" I begged "Like Alice or Jacob?"

He smiled his lopsided smile, which flared my anger again immediately.

"No Bella, I can't. I'll see you soon. Sweet dreams"

And before I had the chance to argue with him any further he disappeared out the window and into the night.

I raced to the window and leaned out searching the darkness for any signs of him. A flash of white caught my eye and I focussed in on it to see Alice standing just on the borders of the forest waving and grinning.

"Tell your brother not to come here again" I whispered, knowing she could hear every word.

She simply smiled even further and raised her hands and shoulders in a helpless shrug.

"Arggghhhhh" I growled in frustration and saw her begin to laugh then blow me a kiss.

I stomped away from the window and threw myself on top of the bed.

Burying my face in my pillow I let myself do something that I should not be doing, something that was stupid and dangerous and most definitely misguided. Something that went against everything that I should be feeling right now....

I began to smile.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** So here it finally is, sorry about the delay. This chapter was so hard for me to write and I am still very dissatisfied with it but I knew I could spend the next month rewriting it so decided to just post it and move on! Hopefully you aren't too disappointed in it, I really did try to make it as good as I could before it drove me insane!

I don't own twilight etc.

**End of Last Chapter:**

"_Tell your brother not to come here again" I whispered, knowing she could hear every word._

_She simply smiled even further and raised her hands and shoulders in a helpless shrug._

"_Arggghhhhh" I growled in frustration and saw her begin to laugh then blow me a kiss._

_I stomped away from the window and threw myself on top of the bed._

_Burying my face in my pillow I let myself do something that I should not be doing, something that was stupid and dangerous and most definitely misguided. Something that went against everything that I should be feeling right now...._

_I began to smile. _

Chapter Eleven

I awoke to an overcast and gloomy day. A perfect day for vampires, but an awful day for humans who needed to get a week's worth of washing done before Monday. I was heavily contemplating staying in bed all day when I realised that I was not alone in my room.

"Good morning sunshine!" a lilting voice sang beside me and I looked across at Alice perched on the side of my bed.

"Sunshine is not really an appropriate term for this morning" I grumbled, rolling away so that my back was facing her and dramatically heaving the covers over my head.

"Nor you it seems" Alice joked "If I'd known you were this charming first thing in the morning I would have sent Rosalie in to greet you. Birds of a feather and all"

"What are you doing in here?" I sighed, resigned to the fact that she was not going to go away. I pushed myself into a semi-upright position, blinking furiously in an attempt to advance my waking-up process.

"Charlie and Logan have set off on their car-worshipping mission so the house is safe for a vampire infestation" Alice chirped "Esme and Rosalie are downstairs gagging through cooking you a hot breakfast with all the human trappings and I wanted to instil some cheer and optimism in you first thing. Especially considering your 'grumpy kitten' impersonation last night"

"You vampires are shocking eavesdroppers" I scolded Alice, but unable to stop the small smile that crept into the corners of my lips.

"And yet it doesn't make you love us any less now does it?" Alice teased, raising one eyebrow.

"How can you be so bubbly first thing in the morning?" I grimaced.

Alice giggled and lay down beside me on the bed "Vampires don't sleep remember. Morning started at midnight for us so we're well used to the day before you open your pretty little human eyes"

"A little compassion for us mere mortals wouldn't go astray" I grumbled.

"On the contrary, I am deeply compassionate" Alice said sitting up and taking me in with a serious look on her face "I feel terribly sympathetic that you have to lie down for 8 hours every night and mess your hair up like that. Honestly" she continued, raking her fingers through my hair and getting them completely stuck "how do you cope?"

"I know" I replied sarcastically "Some days it takes all my strength to find the will to live because of the need to brush my hair in the morning"

"Go freshen up and I'll meet you downstairs with coffee and food" Alice said ignoring my last remark and kissing my forehead "perhaps in an hour or two you will be halfway pleasant to be around"

I got out of bed and as I headed into the bathroom I muttered something that even I couldn't make out.

After freshening myself up, I headed downstairs and was greeted by a feast that would have fed one small family for an entire day.

"Wow" I gasped, looking into Esme's expectant eyes "Thanks...is all this for me?"

"No" Rosalie retorted sarcastically "Some of it's for us. What do you think?"

"Rosalie" Esme warned.

"Sorry" Rosalie apologised reluctantly "I'm just a little irritated by hiding all night in the forest like a squirrel when I could have been doing much more important, pleasant things"

I saw Esme and Alice roll their eyes, but they let it go all the same.

"Thanks Rosalie" I said trying to dispel the tension "It's nice to have a sense of normalcy in the morning. Alice's overboard fantastic mood had me wondering if I'd woken up in the middle of a 1950's sitcom!"

At that Rosalie shot me a small smile and turned her attention back to the fashion magazine she had in front of her. She must have brought that with her to keep her occupied on her watch last night because it didn't belong to me and I was highly doubtful that it belonged to Charlie.

"Did you sleep well Bella?" Esme asked as I attempted to make a dent in the enormous pile of food in front of me.

"Unbelievably I did" I admitted "It doesn't make sense that with so much going on right now I had such a good sleep last night"

"Makes sense to me" Alice said with a smile.

I raised my eyebrows in question.

"I think that maybe the company you kept just before you went to sleep might have something to do with it" she continued cheekily.

"Who, Logan?" I replied teasingly and we both chuckled quietly.

Alice opened her mouth to reply when her phone suddenly rang.

"Carlisle, is there news?" Alice said. I watched as her expectant face changed suddenly into fear and panic "What's happened?....Oh my god!!!" Alice screamed, covering her mouth with her hand and looking more frightened than I had ever seen her look before.

Esme and Rosalie looked straight at me with deep concern, obviously troubled by what they could hear through the phone. An anxious knife in the pit of my stomach began to twist.

"Are they ok?....

What?!?...

But how?...

We're on our way"

As she hung up the phone she looked at Esme and Rosalie, clearly trying to figure out what to do and what to tell me in regards to the information Carlisle had just shared with her.

"What?" I yelled, the anxiety and fear in my stomach rushing through my body making even my breathing impatient "Please tell me what's going on!"

Alice grabbed my hand and looked me deep in the eye. It was as if she were attempting to hypnotise me into a state of calm.

"Bella, there's been an incident..."

"Charlie! Logan!" I screamed rising to my feet and feeling the small amount of breakfast I had managed to eat coming back up.

"They're ok Bella. Charlie is a bit battered and bruised, but Carlisle assured me he's going to be ok. Logan's got nothing more than a few scratches"

"What happened? Did they crash the car" I asked frantically. I noticed that Alice, Esme and Rosalie were looking at each other again in an attempt to find the right words to say to me.

It was Esme who finally spoke "No Bella, it appears Victoria attacked them"

I began to shudder with gasping sobs and felt my control slipping away from me. Clutching my arms around my waist, I tried to focus on a particular point on the table in order to keep myself from slipping into hysteria, but my eyes kept clouding over with tears making it impossible.

"They're ok" Alice reaffirmed, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me in an attempt to jerk me loose from my delirium "Charlie's a bit banged up from when their car crashed into Victoria, but she didn't get the chance to actually lay a finger on them"

I shook my head trying to understand what Alice was telling me "So she didn't actually physically hurt them?"

"No, after crashing the car she fled" Alice replied.

"Why?" I asked confused, but grateful nonetheless "Why did she go to the trouble of attacking them and then simply run away before doing anything?"

"Well" Alice said hesitantly, not sure of how she was going to phrase what she was about to say "Logan scared her off"

"What?" I asked stunned, snapping my head up to meet Alice's eyes.

"I know, the plot thickens huh" Alice replied with a strained smile "Carlisle doesn't know what's going on either. Hopefully we'll find out more when we get to the hospital, come on sweetheart" She put her arms around me and supported my weight while herding me towards the door, never letting go of me until we were in the car.

The drive to the hospital was ridiculously long and there were a ridiculous amount of thoughts running scattered around my head.

Logan scared Victoria off! What did that mean?

I searched for any clue in the recesses of my mind that could explain why Victoria would have been scared by Logan and came up with nothing. The only reason I could think of was that there was something about Logan that we didn't know. Something he had been keeping from all of us. Some kind of secret.

My heart was at war with this thought though because I felt such a strong connection with Logan and had never once suspected something more supernatural about him. The only thing I could think of was that it could possibly be something even he was unaware of, similar to Jacob's story. It just had to be something like that because the alternative, that Logan had been lying to me all this time we had been friends, would most certainly break my heart.

"Do you think he could be a werewolf too?" I whispered to Alice.

She shook her head solemnly while considering what I had said.

"No" she finally offered with a smile "he smells too good to be a dog"

"Well, who is he then?" I asked, irritated by the lack of explanation and answers.

"Beats the hell out of me" she replied genuinely confused "but he's at the hospital with Charlie so no doubt we'll find out soon."

Then, squeezing my hand, she added "If it's any consolation it appears he's one of the good guys"

"I just wanted him to be one of the normal guys" I muttered.

"I know honey" she said moving in to hug me close to her "I know"

I was overwhelmed as soon as I entered the hospital. Normally a place of activity, it seemed that the addition of the Chief of police to the ranks of the wounded had stirred the building into frenzy. I had never experienced it so busy or loud. A few familiar faces headed over to talk to me with concerned looks, but Alice whisked me away down the labyrinth of corridors before they got the chance to engage me in conversation.

We wove in and out of hallways and entrances until I could scarcely see in front of me due to the tears that were once again filling my eyes.

Suddenly I banged into what I thought was a cold, hard wall, but this wall quickly grabbed me with two steel arms and pulled me towards it before I could crash to the ground.

I didn't need to open my eyes to know what had happened. I knew his scent, his body. I relaxed into Edwards embrace and let myself weep out all the fear and distress that had been building up inside me since Alice had first received the phone call. I heard him whisper soothingly and felt a tender comforting kiss on my hair.

"It's ok Bella" he whispered "It's ok"

I clung to him afraid to let go of this moment. I had forgotten what it felt like to have my heart truly comforted. Although I had so many good people in my life, no one could calm my soul as completely as Edward could.

"Bella?" I heard Carlisle's voice say and I pulled back to see him standing behind Edward.

"Is he ok?" I asked.

"He's going to be fine Bella, please there is no need to worry" Carlisle reassured me "I would take you to him, but he has just fallen asleep. He is quite heavily medicated and I wouldn't expect him to wake up for a few hours yet. Why don't we go to my office for a little discussion while we wait?"

"What about Logan?" I asked, worried about what his absence could mean "Is he ok? Is he still here?"

"Logan seems to have gotten away with minor scrapes and scratches. He's waiting in my office for us" Carlisle replied.

I felt Edward tense at the mention of Logan and looked up at him to see he was seething in anger.

"What's the story?" I asked gently "How on earth did he scare off Victoria?"

"That" spat Edward "is what we were planning to get to the bottom of immediately"

I looked hesitantly from Edward to Carlisle, unsure of what to say next.

"What is it Bella?" Carlisle asked "What is on your mind?"

Edward looked at me with an irritated expression and I knew he was frustrated that my mind was a fortress to him.

"I'm just worried for Logan" I admitted "Won't it be a little frightening for him to be ambushed by all of us?"

Edward looked enraged again "Your _friend_ is keeping secrets from us, potentially deadly secrets, and you're worried about how politely we treat him?"

"We will refrain from judgement until we hear what he has to say" Carlisle interrupted, shooting Edward a warning look "After all, he did just save Charlie's life"

Edward shook his head in either disgust or disbelief as we followed Carlisle towards his office.

Logan was sitting in the corner of the room in an armchair. He had a few scrapes on his face and looked extremely pale and frightened. He was shaking slightly and looked at me with a pleading expression.

"Bella!" he exclaimed, rising to stand "How are you? Are you ok?..."

As he was talking he began to rush towards me in an attempt to embrace me. What followed seemed to happen in slow motion and I gasped as I watched Edward's arm stop Logan in his path, sending him flying backwards to crash with a thud against the floor on the far end of the room.

As Logan gathered himself I saw him grab his ribs in an attempt to thwart the pain he was feeling. I instantly remembered that he was also suffering cracked ribs, thanks to Edward's performance a few days ago, and was immediately enraged.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I screeched at Edward while running to help Logan up off the floor "He was in here only a few days ago due to the same sort of behaviour!"

As I helped Logan up, I saw Carlisle and Alice grab Edward and whisper furiously in his ear.

"Bella?" Logan gasped through the pain he was experiencing "What's going on?"

"We'd like to ask you the same thing" Edward said menacingly and I turned to throw Edward a chastising look.

"Logan, I'm so sorry about that" I soothed, helping him back into his chair "And I promise you will get some answers soon, but I need to hear from you what happened today with the car accident first, ok?"

"Bella, honestly I don't know" he said, shaking himself out of his daze and moving to sit on the edge of the seat "We were driving down the open road just out of town when out of nowhere this woman just appeared out of thin air and...this is going to sound crazy, but she jumped in front of the car and stopped it with her body" He was shaking his head wildly, lost in his thoughts "How could someone do that? Stop a car with their body and not end up hurt? She didn't even get thrown back by the impact and we were going fast. Instead the car moulded around her body" he looked directly at me with such confusion, fear and wonder that I began to believe Logan truly had no idea what had happened.

"Charlie was thrown against the windscreen and was pretty badly banged up. I saw this woman just standing in front of the car, smiling like she thought the whole thing was a joke. Adrenaline kicked in and I bolted out of the car to confront her... Looking back I really don't know what I thought I could do. I mean, if this woman was strong enough to stop a speeding car with her body and not get hurt I can only imagine what she could have done to me. But then the strangest thing happened. She noticed me and looked...well, she looked like she'd seen a ghost and then turned and ran off. Well, running isn't exactly the word for it. She was going so fast she looked like a blur. And that is it. That's all I know or remember...Bella?"

"Yes" I whispered, confused by Logan's story but at the same time feeling in my gut that Logan was telling the truth.

"You don't seem too surprised by what happened" He paused to look around the room at the others "This has something to do with why you've been so worried lately doesn't it?"

"Is there more to this story that you're not telling us Logan?" I asked quietly "It's really important to me that you are completely honest right now. I need to be able to trust you"

I looked deep into Logan's eyes and saw nothing but the open and honest heart of my new friend.

I wasn't an idiot. I knew why Edward was so wary and I also accepted that I should feel suspicious too, but the connection I felt with Logan was so strong and vital that I could find no distrust for him lurking in my heart.

"I'm sure there is more to this story" he replied throwing a look at Edward "but not from my side of it"

Suddenly Edward lunged into action, leaping across the room and grabbing Logan by the throat.

"What is it you're not telling us!" he seethed in Logan's ear and even I was terrified to the core by Edward's behaviour "What are you hiding"

"Let...go...." Logan choked and I could see that his lips were turning blue. I sprinted across the room and grabbed Edwards arm. Although I was not strong enough to drag his hand away, he let go of his grip and stood back from Logan giving him a murderous look.

"What the HELL is your problem?" Logan gasped trying to regain his breath and rubbing his neck furiously "What is wrong with you?!" he continued, rising to his feet to stare with equal ferocity back at Edward.

"Logan" I said in a warning tone, shaking my head.

He seemed to understand my warning and sat back down in his seat. He looked down at the floor and quietly said "What's going on Bella? What the hell is happening here?"

I crouched down in front of him, ignoring Edward's growl indicating he did not approve "Logan, you need to be patient ok?"

I placed my hand under his chin, lifting his head to look at me. He looked so lost and frightened and I felt so bad for him that he had to be caught up in all of this. Although I knew that there was more to him that we originally thought, I also had a hunch that whatever it could be was just as much news to Logan as it was to us "I need to go and talk with the Cullen's in private and then we'll come back and try to explain. Is that alright?"

Logan looked at Edward and then back at me. He nodded his head "Sure Bella, but please don't be too long"

"I won't" I replied and gave him a reassuring pat on the knee before standing up and herding the Cullen's out of the room.

We huddled just outside in the corridor. Thankfully nobody was around for the time being.

"What the hell was that?" Edward seethed at me as soon as the door was shut "He's keeping secrets from us and you're still acting like he's your bosom buddy?"

"You're the mind reader" I spat back at Edward "Why don't you tell us all what he's hiding"

Edward grew silent.

"Well Edward" Carlisle asked "Can you get any sort of sense of what he's hiding?"

Edward just shook his head "No" he admitted.

"What was he thinking?" I asked.

"Pretty much what he was saying" Edward replied "I can see the whole scene in his head and it happened the way he said it did. It appears he's more confused by this than we are"

"Is he human?" I asked hesitantly afraid of the answer.

"Yes" Alice responded without delay.

"How can you tell?" I insisted. I needed to be 100% sure that Logan was who he said he was.

"If it looks like a duck, smells like a duck and quacks like a duck..." Rosalie joked bitterly "then it's a duck"

"Logan's a duck?" I asked confused.

"No" Esme laughed "It's just a saying. What Rosalie means is that he is very much human in every sense of the word"

"Oh" I replied "Well, what about Victoria? Does anything in Logan's memory indicate why she was frightened by Logan?"

Again Edward shook his head "I just see her looking frightened, terrified even" then his eyes rose to meet mine "We need to find out everything about Logan's background. His friends, family history, everything. There is something about that kid that has power over Victoria and we need to find out what that is. I suggest he comes back to our place for further discussion and that you stay well away from him in the mean time"

"No way!" I yelled at Edward "He is terrified right now. I'm not sending him alone to be interrogated by you!"

"You know we wouldn't hurt him Bella" Alice soothed "but until we find out his story we need to keep you at a safe distance from him"

"But he saved Charlie's life by scaring off Victoria. Doesn't it make sense that he is the safest person for me to be around? Think back to the night Mrs Crittle was killed...who was staying in my house? Logan! Perhaps Victoria and her friend had come into my room intent on killing me and then fled as soon as they realised he was in the house. Perhaps they even fled Mrs Crittle's house because Logan was heading there to investigate the screams he heard. Even though we don't know how, he is potentially the one person who can protect me from Victoria and her friend" I looked deep into Edwards eyes "He is probably more protection than you" I said.

Edward just stared back at me with a grim look on his face.

"I know that you _think_ your right Bella" Edward said trying to hide the anger in his voice "but the truth is you know nothing at all right now, none of us do. Are you willing to risk your life by placing faith in someone that you obviously know nothing about?"

"It wouldn't be the first time" I said pointedly "and my intuition about people has tended to prove right before"

"That was different!" Edward said with emotion rising in his voice.

"Why, because it was you?" I quickly retorted.

"Yes" Edward spat back, never breaking his stare "and if memory serves correct, it didn't really work out in your favour in the long run now did it"

I was shocked by the cruelty of his last statement. I just stared back at him shaking my head. Tears were brimming in my eyes but I was damned if I would let them spill over and give Edward the satisfaction of seeing me cry again.

"Why are you doing this Bella? Why are you so hell-bent on Logan's innocence? Has he really sucked you in that hard?" Edward pleaded, his voice softening and filled with what actually sounded like pain.

I walked over to Edward and stood as close as I dared possible to him. It was hard to maintain focus having him so close to me, but I needed to make my point clear.

"Unlike some people" I began in a low, serious tone "I don't turn my back on those I care about"

"You care about him that much?" Edward asked, the shock and pain clearly visible on his face.

"Yes" I replied earnestly.

"Bella" Carlisle interrupted, obviously aware of how this conversation was going nowhere apart from circles and insults "I have to agree with Edward about this"

As I turned to launch an argument against what he had just said, he held his hand up to indicate he hadn't finished "and I can also appreciate that you make a good point. It does appear that Logan can offer some safety for the time being. I think what is needed here is a compromise. I can arrange for Charlie to be transferred to the care of Billy Black in La Push in a few days time. Until then we will have some of the werewolves along with Rosalie and Esme guard him here at the hospital. In the mean time why don't you agree to you and Logan coming to stay at our house? Alice and I can offer you both protection and we can try to get to the bottom of this situation. I'm sure Logan has just as many questions about what's happening as we do"

"You want to tell him about you?" I asked in disbelief.

"I think it's the only choice we have" Carlisle answered "If he truly knows nothing, he will need to be told the whole story in order to recall any relevant information regarding what happened today. And" he continued, addressing Edward "if he isn't as innocent as he seems, then he already knows about us and there is no harm done"

Edward scoffed, but nonetheless did not argue.

"That sounds fair" I agreed, and turned to re-enter the room.

Before my hand reached the door handle Edward grabbed me and pulled me to him. I could feel every inch of his magnificent body pressed against mine and my senses were immediately on fire.

"You can think I'm the biggest jerk right now if you so wish" he purred in my ear and I could swear I felt his lips brush against the skin of my cheek "but all I'm trying to do is protect you"

I was overwhelmed by the intimacy that had been established by this curious interlude. Just like last night I felt my body responding to Edward's proximity with yearning and surrender. I could hear my heart pounding and absentmindedly lifted my hand to touch the skin above my heart, as Edward had done the night before. At this he smiled and whispered "Yes, I hear it. But right now it is more comforting than distracting"

"Humph" I replied breaking the moment and quickly entered the room before anyone could see the tell-tale flush on my cheeks or the erratic intake of my breath.

I walked in to see Logan furiously biting his nails. He looked so fragile and harmless that I couldn't fathom what in the world it was about him that had frightened Victoria so much.

I shuffled nervously on my feet in front of him, unsure of what to say.

"Logan, we need to talk" I said finally. He simply looked at me and nodded.

"Not here though, we need to talk somewhere more private. Would it be ok if you came with me to the Cullen's house?"

He looked startled and hesitant. I could tell he was frightened at the thought of being around Edward, who was lurking sullenly behind me. Even though I couldn't see him, I could feel the animosity radiating from him and saturating the room.

"Don't worry Logan" Alice's voice purred and she walked forward to crouch non-menacing in front of him "We'll be on our best behaviour, I promise"

He looked at her with a relieved expression on his face, thankful that one of the Cullen's had extended the olive branch.

He smiled slowly and said "That sounds like a good deal. Will your brother make the same promise?" and he looked almost challengingly beyond my shoulder at Edward.

"He won't hurt you Logan" I reassured him "His behaviour before was his attempt to protect me"

"From what?" Logan asked exasperated, turning his attention back to me "from a teenage boy who is half his strength and size?"

"From someone we know nothing about who may be trying to torture Bella to death" Edward interrupted, silencing Logan and myself. He walked over to where Logan sat and Logan rose defensively from his seat to look Edward in the eye.

"And Bella is only half right" Edward continued "I won't hurt you if it turns out your telling the truth about who you are, but if I get one inkling that you are keeping something from us I will personally rip you limb from limb. And that is not a metaphor, my friend, I literally mean that I will tear your body apart piece by piece"

"Edward!" I yelled, completely dumbfounded by his continued attack on Logan "He's agreed to talk to us so why are you insisting on behaving like this?"

Edward spun to face me, a patronizing look across his features "As far as I'm concerned I'm the only one here who is not behaving like a complete idiot" he retorted.

"You know what" Logan interrupted. I could see that he was filled with a mixture of both fear and outrage and I understood now what Edward had been referring to when he described a 'grumpy kitten' "I don't care if you threaten or insult me. I don't know you and you don't owe me any respect or kindness. But basically calling Bella an idiot? I thought you two were close once. I can't fathom why on earth you would choose to treat her with such disrespect. Where in your mind and your heart did you come up with a rationalisation for insulting her like that after knowing her as long and as well as you do? Honestly man, what _is_ wrong with you?"

Edward took a couple steps back and looked truly shocked by what Logan had said. He then turned to look at me with such remorse and sorrow that I knew Logan's words had struck a chord deep within Edward.

"I'm sorry Bella" he whispered ashamed.

I shrugged my shoulders in an attempt to seem unfazed by the whole affair "No problem" I replied coldly.

Edward's shoulders seemed to slump even further and the pain on his face intensified. I immediately felt regret at downplaying his apology, but all the same I wanted to build up my strength and power in Edwards eyes.

I knew I faced a long and hard battle ahead trying to convince Edward that Logan could be trusted and I needed to convey a sense of confidence in order to do that. One whiff of fragile, frightened Bella and I knew Edward would instantly tighten up his guard against Logan.

I was quite surprised of how protective of Logan I was being, but it was beginning to make sense the more I thought about it. I could vividly remember the abandonment and aching pain of betrayal caused when someone I loved had given up on me. Edward may have been prepared to walk away from those who needed him five months ago, but I was not going to do the same to Logan. I would stand by Logan no matter what it cost me because, to tell the truth, there was nothing left in my life that I couldn't stand to lose that I hadn't already lost.

Despite the fact that I didn't know much about Logan, my heart had already responded to him and connected with his as it had with the Cullen's and with Jacob. As fiercely as Edward tried to deny it, Logan had an important part to play in this situation. In all my misfortune and the intricate twists and turns my life had taken, I had managed to be drawn and attracted to everything I could have possibly needed and wanted at the time...true friendship, true family, true support and true love. Edward and Logan were more similar in my eyes than I knew they would care to consider. I had been thrown into their paths and drawn towards them, or perhaps they had been drawn to me, and I began to feel a sense of acceptance that this had all been for a reason.

I had no idea what that reason was, but decided to surrender myself to the whirlwind of fate and destiny engulfing me. When all logic and reason has disappeared from the world, the only thing left to trust is the discomfort of uncertainty. I may not have all the answers, but I would follow the questions to where they would take me.

I fortified myself with this surrender to instinct and faith and stood up from my seat.

"Shall we go?" I asked my two would-be saviours "we have a lot to discuss"

And with that I walked confidently out of the room, trusting that they would both follow me wherever our road was leading.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Here we are people. Just so you know, I made up 'The Tutore', although some of the information regarding their circumstances is real. Anyway, hope you're not disappointed with this chapter...the past two have been really difficult for me to write for some unknown reason. But here it is anyway!

I don't own twilight etc

**End of Last Chapter: **_I had no idea what that reason was, but decided to surrender myself to the whirlwind of fate and destiny engulfing me. When all logic and reason has disappeared from the world, the only thing left to trust is the discomfort of uncertainty. I may not have all the answers, but I would follow the questions to where they would take me._

_I fortified myself with this surrender to instinct and faith and stood up from my seat._

"_Shall we go?" I asked my two would-be saviours "we have a lot to discuss"_

_And with that I walked confidently out of the room, trusting that they would both follow me wherever our road was leading._

Chapter Twelve

I decided to sneak in to Charlie's room to see how he was before leaving. Carlisle had already told me he would not be conscious for a while yet, but I needed to see him to make sure with my own eyes that he was alright.

The shock from seeing the state he was in literally felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I felt winded and gasped frantically to get air into my lungs. Here was my father, someone who had always been unfailingly strong and tough and bullet-proof, lying in a hospital bed looking almost unrecognisable. His face was pretty badly cut up and swollen. He had wires and tubes attached to his inactive body and he looked every inch as fragile and breakable as I felt every day.

"Oh Charlie" I whispered, tears running down my face and pattering against the floor beneath me "I am so _so_ sorry about all of this"

But Charlie didn't reply. He just kept on sleeping.

I touched his hand and was suddenly overwhelmed by an urge to go back to a year ago when my world wasn't full of monsters and terror. One where Charlie could keep me safe from every danger I could possibly conceive of. There once was a time when I believed that my father was tougher than anything else out there, but now I knew different.

Taking his hand in mine, I slid into a flood of guilt. Not only because I was the reason he was lying here, but also because of how I had taken him for granted over the last year. I yearned to return to a time when my greatest desire was not to leave Charlie and the rest of my family in order to pursue an endless night with a coven of vampires. I wished so badly that I could be happy enough simply growing old in this world with my father by my side. It wasn't fair that this great man lying in the hospital bed in front of me was not enough to stop the desire to spend eternity hiding from all the family that I once knew.

"I'm sorry" I repeated leaning to rest my head against his, my tears wetting his face in the process "I'm sorry for not being a good enough daughter to you. I'm sorry..."

I felt a hand gently place itself on the flat of my back and slowly turned around to see Alice staring at me with overwhelming compassion and sympathy.

"Bella, don't beat yourself up like this. You love Charlie and he knows it"

I sighed heavily "But no matter what I do from now on, it will never be what he deserves. If I stay here and grow old with him I will never be able to pretend that I am completely happy with my life. If, in a bizarre twist of fate, I become like you then I would have to leave him with no explanation and desert him knowing full well the pain it would cause. And if I die...."

"You're not going to die anytime soon Bella, so don't even finish that thought" Alice interrupted crossly.

"But one day Charlie will Alice. _This_ time he will wake up and get better, but there will come the day when he doesn't. One day there will be no more second chances. I will have to live with the guilt that I wanted so badly to choose a life that left him behind"

I looked down at my darling father and shook my head "How will I live with myself knowing that there was a time when I would have done anything to have walked away from my entire human life, that I would have given him up for someone else" I turned to look Alice straight in the eyes "What kind of person does that make me? What kind of person would have turned her back eagerly on her father for such selfish reasons? And what kind of fool does it make me that I wanted so badly to do it because of someone who, it turns out, never actually loved me in the first place?"

"Bella" Alice replied with such sorrow on her face "Things in this world are never black and white. We make choices and follow paths for all the right reasons at the time and regardless of what path we chose, those paths are never free of consequences. There are no clear cut right or wrong choices. Sometimes we have to do things that we know is causing others great pain, and that likewise cause ourselves immeasurable suffering, because it is what we believe is right for us, for all of us, at the time. Don't you understand now?"

"Understand what?" I choked through sobs.

"Understand why Edward did what he did. And why his behaviour has been like it has since our return"

I searched Alice's eyes for clues, but could not find the answers I was looking for.

"Alice, I have a thousand theories and stories and answers as to why Edward has done the things he has, and they change from moment to moment depending on how he acts. Understanding him is the most elusive part of my life right now. I need you to tell me"

"It's his story Bella, if you want to know everything that he is thinking and feeling then you are going to have to ask him yourself. I will tell you this though. He suffered like you wouldn't believe when we left. The thought of having to come back and make it all worse was almost unbearable for him. The struggle he went through to simply return to school was excruciating to watch. Once back, it has been a minute by minute struggle for him to try and figure out what is the right thing to do and how to reconcile that with what's in his heart. He is stressed and hurting and terrified and excited and so much more all at the same time throughout every single minute of the day. You have every right to feel the way you do about who he is and what he has done, but please just take it a bit easier on him. He truly is trying so very hard to make everything all right for you, and sometimes I believe he is destroying himself in the process" She came closer to me and took my face in her palms "He isn't the bad guy Bella, truly he isn't"

I raised my hand to place it over Alice's and nodded through my tears "I know Alice" I whispered.

"Well then cut him some slack huh" She said a little more brightly, trying to lighten the mood "because if things keep going the way they are I am quite sure Edward will literally explode!"

"I'll take it easier on him only if you can get Jasper to work his magic and calm him down a bit" I joked.

"Why do you think Jasper isn't around at the moment" Alice said exacerbated, rolling her eyes "He can't stand being near Edward's brooding. He said it's giving him a headache!"

I chuckled "I know what he means" I replied.

'Shall we go?" Alice asked gently and I returned to look down at Charlie lying in the hospital bed.

"I don't want to leave him Alice. He looks so vulnerable and I'm not used to seeing him like this" I whispered back.

"He's in good hands" Alice reassured me "Esme and Rosalie won't leave his side"

I gave a rough snort at that statement and Alice looked at me quizzically.

"I'm glad Esme will be staying with him, but it's hard for me to equate caring protection with Rosalie" I admitted.

"I know she can come across as a....well as a bitch" Alice replied "But think about it. Rosalie has chosen the same lifestyle and diet as the rest of us. Shouldn't that say something? She wouldn't chose to eat only animals if she didn't hold compassion and regard for human life in her heart"

I blinked furiously while staring at Alice. I was totally shocked and quite a bit embarrassed that I had never thought of Rosalie in that way. She had always seemed to treat us 'humans' with contempt, disregard and disinterest and I had never paused to consider the fact that she had chosen not to take a human life for a reason. Drinking only animal blood was a painful decision that caused vampires so much stress and complication and the fact that Rosalie had chosen that lifestyle must mean that her morals and her compassion took first place over all other desires she may have.

"I'm sorry Alice" I admitted "I'd never thought about it in that way"

"Well" Alice replied with a smile "She doesn't really do much to allow people to see the best in her. Even I struggle sometimes! Anyway, Charlie will need a change of clothes and some 'Bella' time when he wakes up, so we will be gone for the bare minimum time necessary, ok?"

"Ok" I said and bent down to kiss Charlie on his forehead "See you soon Dad" I whispered and headed out the door with Alice by my side.

It was quite hilarious to see the guys waiting for us out in the corridor. Carlisle was trying awkwardly to chat to Logan in a casual manner, but I could see that Logan's mind was elsewhere. His eyes were darting around the space and he kept fidgeting with his clothes. Edward stood leaning against the corridor wall with his arms crossed. He was staring into space with a blank look on his face, acknowledging no one and nothing. They looked the height of uncomfortableness even though it was obvious they were trying to portray a picture of ease and causality.

All three looked immeasurably relieved when they saw me and Alice heading their way.

We headed back to the Cullen's home in Carlisle's car. Edward sat in the front and Alice, Logan and I crammed into the back seat. Once in a while one of us would attempt to initiate conversation with limited success, but for the most part we sat in silence.

Pulling up to the house I noticed a figure pacing back and forth just outside the front entrance. Getting out of the car I could see it was Jacob and he looked frantic. On seeing me he rushed to my side, pulling me into an embrace that knocked the air out of my lungs.

"Sam told me what happened. Thank god Charlie is ok!" He murmured into my hair, but then suddenly pulled himself away and yelled "Logan! You have some explaining to do!"

_Oh no_, I thought, _here we go again_.

Jacob rushed off in Logan's direction looking awfully similar to how Edward had only an hour before when, to my immense shock, Edward bolted to break Jacob's stride holding his hands out in front of his body to halt Jacob in his tracks.

"Wait" Edward said sternly and seriously "We need to hear Logan out before jumping to conclusions. Believe me, I've already made that mistake"

I was speechless, and from the look on everybody else's face so were they. Even Carlisle looked at a loss for words, but then quickly shook himself out of his thoughts and gestured for us to go inside.

As I passed Edward I grabbed his hand. "Thank you" I whispered in his ear. He squeezed my hand back and walked beside me into the house.

"Consider that a start to my apology" he whispered back.

I stopped dead in my tracks so that Edward and I would have a brief moment alone together before joining the others.

"You don't need to apologise anymore Edward" I said in a hushed voice. I stared straight down at the ground, too afraid to look at his beautiful face, his hypnotising eyes "I understand that you have good intentions. You just need give Logan the benefit of the doubt for now ok?"

He put one finger under my chin and lifted my head so that I had no choice but to take in his glorious features.

"I'm not apologising for how I've treated Logan, Bella" he purred making my body quicken with attraction "And believe me, I've only just begun to make amends for how I have treated you"

My whole body trembled with the thrill his words and the tone of voice. He flashed me that infamous one sided grin before elegantly strolling into the room and taking a seat at the table.

Damn him! How he could melt my resolve and destroy my barriers so easy! It really was criminal how much power he had over me.

Blushing, I made my way to the table and sat in between Logan and Carlisle, which luckily was as far away from Edward as possible.

"Logan" Carlisle began "I'm sure by now you have figured out that something quite different is going on here"

"You could say that" Logan muttered and then turned to Jacob "You're involved in this too?" he asked.

Jacob nodded "Yeah, I'm part of this too".

Logan just shook his head "No offense, but do I really want to know what's going on? It seems pretty heavy and I'm thinking it has something to do with all the murders that have been taking place too" Logan looked directly into Carlisle's eyes "I don't want to be involved if anyone is going to get hurt"

I was the one to respond, grabbing Logan's hand "Do you trust me Logan?" I asked, to which he nodded "And do you trust that I wouldn't involve myself with bad people?" again he nodded "These are good people Logan, you need to trust them"

"Ok" Logan whispered, looking down at his hands. I could see he was still uncomfortable and scared, but at least he was willing to stay and talk.

"Logan" Carlisle continued "We need to ask you some questions, but I think that it is important that I explain a few things first, to let you know exactly what has been going on"

And with that Carlisle told Logan everything. Who and what they were, how they came to live in Forks, the treaty, meeting me and the current situation. Throughout everything that was being said Logan never once broke his expression. He held a look of intense concentration and focus, as if he were absorbing every little detail that Carlisle told him.

When Carlisle had finished explaining, an uncomfortable silence filled the room. Logan just sat there with the same expression on his face, staring down at the table and not moving a muscle. It was nerve racking to watch and wait for a response. I was unsure whether he would crack up laughing, run out screaming, or just continue to stare like that for another couple of hours. I could sense, however, that nobody was keen to make a move or say a word until Logan showed some kind of response.

After a while Logan let out a huge breath of air and looked up at me "Whoa" he said finally and then turned to look at Carlisle "For real? You guys are really vampires?"

"Yes" Carlisle responded.

"And you're really a werewolf?" Logan asked Jacob.

"Yes" Jacob replied.

Then Logan looked back at me with a smile on his face "And your really normal?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Yes. Well, compared to everyone else here I am" I laughed back.

"Thank god for that!" Logan exclaimed, and the relief that filled the room was immense.

"So you believe us?" I asked Logan. I was surprised by how he was taking this all in his stride.

"To tell you the truth, if you had told me all this a day ago the answer would have been no" He admitted "But after seeing how that car simply moulded around Victoria I really have no choice but to believe. With something that unbelievable I knew the explanation would have to be something equally unbelievable"

"And you're not afraid?" I pressed.

"Yes" Logan admitted sheepishly "But _you're_ still alive and that gives me hope! No one's about to eat me are they?" he added, to which Alice and Jacob gave a little chuckle.

"That depends on your story" Edward said menacing, and then flashed him a smile to indicate he was joking. Logan laughed, but I had a hard time sharing the joke. I knew Edward and that smile he had painted on his face was just that...painted on his face. His eyes showed no warmth, only warning.

"Well" Logan said "there's not much more I can tell you that I haven't already told you"  
"Actually, we're more interested in who _you_ are now Logan. Victoria was scared of you for a reason and we need to know what that reason is. Can you think of anything in your life that seems out of the ordinary, any things you can do that you can't explain, or maybe things you've seen members of your family do?"

Logan shook his head "No, I can't think of anything at all. I'm kind of the opposite of a superhero. I'm clumsy, awkward and shy...does that help?"

"What about your ancestry?" Jacob interrupted "Are there any stories from previous generations of your family that may have some relevance here. Perhaps stories that have seemed completely absurd up until now. As Carlisle mentioned, I had no idea I was a werewolf until recently but I did know of the legend that we descending from wolves, and of the treaty between my ancestors and the Cullen's"

Logan pondered this heavily for a while, before laughing out loud and shaking his head.

"No....way!" he said laughing.

"What?" I asked.

He was still shaking his head "There is one story that I have heard, but it's ridiculous"

"Sounds perfect then" Jacob said warmly to Logan.

"No way" Logan repeated "Even if it was true there is no way that it has anything to do with me!"

"What is it Logan?" I pried.

Logan blushed and I could tell whatever it was he found embarrassing "Well" he began, biting his lip "My mom told me that one of our ancestors was a member of a group of men in 14th Century Italy called 'The Tutore'"

I had no idea what Logan was talking about, but it appeared that Carlisle did because he leaned forward suddenly in his chair and slapped his hands against the table.

"Really!" He asked enthusiastically.

I looked at the others and they looked just as confused as I was. In fact, Logan looked more confused.

"Who are the Tutore?" Edward asked.

"I have heard stories about them" Carlisle answered "But that is all. Legend has it that they were a group of men formed during the time of the 'black death', a terrible plague that killed millions of people throughout Europe in the mid 14th century. Because no one at the time could find a cause for the horrific deaths, many blamed the wrath of God for the plague. The Tutore were formed in Italy to attempt to rid the country of evil-doers that may have brought the plague down upon them. They were considered to be mortal men who had been chosen by God to protect the innocent and destroy those guilty of wickedness and sin. It was said they could see into a person's soul and know who was good and who was evil. When they encountered those who held evil in their hearts, God would gift them with unmatchable strength in order to destroy them. They are believed to have been in action for only a short time before disappearing amongst controversy. It has been said that towards the end of their reign many groups of people were persecuted unfairly, such as immigrants and gypsies, leading to the mass slaughter of innocent people"

"They sound charming" Edward sniggered.

"The thing is" Carlisle continued, ignoring Edward's sarcasm "There is no proof or documentation that they even existed, but I have always been curious about them considering how many of the great plagues in history have actually been attributable to vampires. I often wondered if they could have been linked to our kind in some way"

"As in vampire hunters?" I gasped, immediately fearful of what that could mean.

"It's just a thought Bella. I don't think we need to be patting down Logan for stakes or silver crosses just yet" Carlisle replied in amusement.

Logan looked mortified by what Carlisle had just said and began to fidget again in his chair.

"So you think I may be...one of them, whoever they are" he asked hesitantly.

Carlisle shook his head "I don't know what to think about this Logan, like I said I don't really know anything for sure about the Tutore. What exactly did your mother tell you about them? Even the smallest piece of information may be of help at the moment"

"Her story was a little more cheerier than yours" Logan replied, a little overwhelmed it seemed from what Carlisle had just said "She described them as Guardians of the good and that they were initially formed to protect important people and future leaders from destruction at the hands of evil" Logan paused for a while and a scarlet blush flooded his cheeks "Do you really think that I may be....that I may have...oh man, that is completely ridiculous! I am definitely the last person in the world that could protect anyone from anything"

I thought back to the clumsy and comical accidents Logan seemed particularly adept at and admitted to myself that it seemed highly unlikely this boy was a crusader against monsters. But on the other hand I thought about how I was drawn to him, how I felt completely safe and secure in his presence and began to wonder if he indeed was endowed with some sort of legendary power of protection against evil.

"If I had to make a guess Logan" Carlisle responded "I think it means that you are able to protect Bella more than any of us are capable of. It explains why Victoria was so terrified of you. Perhaps she could sense your power and fled before she put herself in danger"

Jacob let out a low whistle between his teeth and flashed me a huge grin "Boy Bella, you certainly have a knack for attracting mythical creatures"

I smiled at Jacob and shook my head "What can I say Jake, it certainly appears that way"

I turned to look at Logan and he looked terrified. He was shaking slightly and had turned a rather ghostly shade of grey.

"Logan, are you ok?" I asked concerned.

"I don't think so Bella" he whispered and dropped his head into his hands.

I started to panic that something was seriously wrong with him when Edward spoke up "He's just a little overwhelmed and frightened by what this all means" Edward explained "He's scared that the legend isn't true and he will end up disappointing us. That when it comes time to test Carlisle's theory he may end up being responsible for your death"

Logan's head shot up in a flash "You can read minds too?" he asked mortified.

"Yes I can" Edward responded, to which Logan let out a low groan and returned his head to his hands.

"Yes I know that as well" Edward growled, obviously in response to something Logan had thought.

Logan gave another tortured groan "Does she know?" he muttered through his hands.

"My brother Emmett kind of let that cat out of the bag the other night" Edward replied and I suddenly, with horror and embarrassment, realised what this unspoken conversation was about.

The uncomfortable silence stretched on for what seemed like hours, but in fact would have been mere seconds. Just when the tension was becoming unbearable Carlisle spoke up.

"Well then, it appears that we have one more feather to our bow here with Logan. This should prove extremely useful in our current situation"

"That is presuming I'm actually of any use!" Logan returned, raising his head from his hands.

"I think you've already proven how useful you are" Alice reassured him, placing her hand over his on the table "You saved Charlie's life"

At the mention of Charlie I immediately stiffened.

"Carlisle" I asked "Do you think Charlie will wake up anytime soon?"

All of a sudden I was extremely anxious to return to my father's side. Despite the fact that I should be encouraged by being surrounded by so many strong and powerful protectors, I had an immense yearning to be in the company of completely normal and vulnerable humans. It was as if I could feel the spaces where I belonged shrinking around me now that Logan had joined the superhuman league and I wanted to be with someone with whom I could share in the fragility of life with.

"It shouldn't be too long now Bella" Carlisle answered "Alice, would you run back to Bella's house and get Charlie a change of clothes and some of his personal belongings to make him more comfortable while he stays in hospital"

"If you don't mind" I interjected "Could I go and get them? I desperately need some fresh air and a change of scenery"

"I'll need to go to the house as well" Logan said "I would love to change into a pair of clothes that isn't covered in shattered glass. Besides, I left my cell phone at the house and have a strong urge to call my sister and tell her to stay as far away as humanly possible from Forks at the moment!"

"I'll drive you both" Edward said "No offense Logan, but I'm not too enthusiastic to let Bella run off anywhere by herself with you at the moment, regardless of who we think you may be"

"No offense taken" Logan replied "I'm not in a hurry to prove, or disprove for that matter, what you think I am"

Alice grabbed my hand and looked at me with concern "I will come with you too if you like" she said "But if you don't think you'll need me I might go find Jasper and make sure he's ok"

I could see in her eyes how much she was missing Jasper and how worried she was that he was still out there searching for Victoria and her invisible friend. I knew myself how worried I had been over both Jacob and Edward in the past and as much as I desperately wanted Alice to join me I knew she needed to be with her soul mate right now.

"I'll be fine" I reassured her "Go to him"

"Thanks" she whispered and then was gone from my sight before I could even blink.

I had to smile as I watched Logan get as excited as a kid at Christmas when Edward mentioned taking the Volvo. Edward appeared to have warmed slightly to Logan and was actually participating in the conversation Logan was enthusiastically embarking on. It involved a lot of 'car speak' that sounded vaguely familiar but still completely non-understandable to me, like someone speaking pigeon English.

I turned to say goodbye to Jacob only to see him sitting at the table by himself with the saddest look on his face. I slowly walked back towards him.

"Jacob?" I called and as he looked up at me I could see the pain in his eyes.

"What's wrong Jake?" I asked.

"Aw, nothing" he shrugged and attempted to smile but I wasn't fooled.

"No really, what's wrong Jake? I know something is up"

"It's stupid" he muttered and stood up from the table. He was about to walk away when I grabbed his arm.

"Please" I begged "Tell me what's wrong"

"Well" He sighed "I just wonder where this all leaves me" he said, his voice full of loss.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Edward has your love and Logan can protect you better than anyone else can, so where do I fit in now?"

"In here" I said, placing his warm hand against my heart "You will always be so very important in here. You're my best friend Jacob" he rolled his eyes at that and I was quick to respond "What's the deal with rolling your eyes? Is being my best friend such a non-event? Because I have to say it is one of the most important parts of my life"

He smiled down at me and wrapped his huge, powerful arms around my small frame "I guess it will have to do" he chuckled. Then he suddenly pulled back to look me in the eyes "Do you ever get the feeling that we're in some kind of weird version of the wizard of oz?"

I laughed reflexively at that "What on earth do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, you're Dorothy. Victoria's the wicked witch of the west. Edward's the tin-man and Logan's the cowardly lion" He replied.

"So that makes you the scarecrow?" I teased.

"One would initially think so, because it seems pretty brainless for me to keep loving you like I do" I blushed and wriggled uncomfortably in his arms, but he didn't relax his embrace and continued to speak "But I actually think I'm Toto"

"Because you're a dog?" I asked, to which he boomed with laughter.

"No! I am not a dog!" he finally said with mock insult "I would be Toto because I would happily follow you anywhere without needing an explanation why. I will love you unconditionally and unfalteringly without you needing to love me back in the exact same way. And because me and you will always be there for each other, best friends through all adversity. That's why I would be Toto"

"Well" I said squeezing my arms around his massive frame "you're slightly bigger than my recollection of Toto, but you'll do I suppose"

"Oh and one last thing" Jacob called out to me as I headed to join the others in the car.

"Yes?" I asked, turning to look at Jacob.

"In the end, the only one left by Dorothy's side is Toto. He was the only one in her life who was real"

I gave him a small smile "Perhaps" I whispered as I walked away.

And I realised that for the first time in a few hours I actually felt normal again, instead of a character immersed in a fantasy world. Perhaps he was the only one that could make this whole world seem real. My very own Toto.

We began to drive away and I looked back at the house to see Jacob standing at the front door waving. As I watched his large frame grow smaller with the distance I was struck by the sad thought that Toto was the only character in the wizard of oz who didn't end up receiving the gift of his greatest desire. He was never asked or given what he wanted.

I shook my head to expel the ridiculous train of thought my mind was going on. I was thinking about a silly children's book as if it were real, and likening my best friend to its character of a dog no less. But then I Looked to the front seats of the Volvo to see my vampire ex-boyfriend and my ancient-guardian-against-evil new friend and began to giggle. How could anything be ridiculous to me at all anymore?

"What's so funny?" Edward asked, looking at me through the rear-view mirror.

"I was just thinking of how we're not in Kansas anymore" I replied with a smile on my face.

Edward just shook his head in confusion and Logan craned his head around to look at me like I was a freak.

"Private joke with Jacob" I explained, and then turned my attention to the scenery flying past the speeding passenger window.

Reaching up and placing my hand against the cold glass of the window, I wondered how much it would take to stop my world from blurring out of control. What sacrifices would be made and who would be asked to make those sacrifices?

Much like the forest appeared through the window as we drove past it at speed, my life and the lives of those around me seemed to be speeding too fast to an unknown destination. There was not enough time or information to bring into focus the blur that surrounded us. All we could do was watch the scenery fly past our windows and pray that we get to our unknown destination unharmed and unchanged.

"We're here" Edward said as we pulled up outside my house.

"No, but we're close" I muttered in return.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **Believe it or not, this was supposed to be a short chapter and I sort of got carried away. I hope it doesn't drag on too much when reading it!! I'm really nervous about the next chapter because it is going to break with the style of the rest of my story because it will be in Edward's point of view. I'm not too sure of how that will turn out because I'm not too confident with my ability to write from his pov but I need to do it to avoid having to explain what happens through conversation as opposed to telling it as it happens. For this reason my next update may be a little further away than I normally try to update. Please be patient with me and I hope that you enjoy this chapter.

I don't own twilight etc.

**End of Last Chapter: **_Much like the forest appeared through the window as we drove past it at speed, my life and the lives of those around me seemed to be speeding too fast to an unknown destination. There was not enough time or information to bring into focus the blur that surrounded us. All we could do was watch the scenery fly past our windows and pray that we get to our unknown destination unharmed and unchanged._

"_We're here" Edward said as we pulled up outside my house._

"_No, but we're close" I muttered in return._

Chapter Thirteen

I had no more than stepped one foot outside of the car when I heard it. A loud and gut-wrenching wailing coming from Logan's direction as if he was being tortured painfully.

My breath stuck mid-throat and I was paralysed with fear.

It wasn't until I had the courage to look in Logan's direction that I realised what had happened...his car had been towed to our driveway while we had been out.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no" Logan kept muttering as he ran towards it, looking like he was about to burst into tears.

It looked awful. In fact it looked worse than awful.

It was basically unrecognisable...from the front that is. Looking at it from the back the car looked fine, but once you reached the passenger doors it was a different story. The whole front of the vehicle had been folded like a fortune cookie around where Victoria must have standing. I didn't need to be an expert to know that this once beautiful car was now destined for the scrapheap. Not even Jacob could work his magic on this catastrophe.

I walked over to where Logan was standing and heard him mutter under his breath "She didn't have to do this"

He spun around to look at me with such fury in his eyes and I was actually scared. I had never seen Logan look angry before and it made me feel extremely uncomfortable. It didn't seem right for his face to be so menacing when his nature was normally the complete opposite. I wondered if this was the face Victoria had seen when he had confronted her.

"Honestly Bella" He continued "why didn't she simply stand in the middle of the road and wait for us to stop? Charlie doesn't look like the 'mow down strange women on the road' type of guy. Did she really have to kill my car like this?"

"I don't think she really cares about your car Logan, and I suspect politely waiting for you to stop wouldn't have the desired effect" I replied "The important thing is that both you and Charlie are ok"

Logan looked horrified and embarrassed "Oh my god, I'm so sorry Bella! I didn't mean to seem so selfish!" he returned to look at his car in pain "I just...."

"I know" I soothed, placing my hand on his shoulder "It was a beautiful car"

"Looking at this it's hard to believe no one was seriously hurt" Logan said in disbelief "Thank god it was only the car that was destroyed"

"How about when this is all over I get Jacob to take a look at it and see if he can fix it" I offered.

"Do you think he could?" Logan asked me with expectant eyes.

We both turned to look at the poor car and simultaneously said a very resigned "No"'.

"It had a good, long life Logan. Take some comfort in that" I teased.

"I thought we would grow old together" he lamented in mock grief.

I gave a little giggle and then noticed Edward was stooped down studying the front of the car furiously.

"What is it?" Logan asked worried. As if there could be any worse news about the car!

"I don't understand" Edward simply stated, looking up at Logan.

"What?" Logan asked confused.

Edward gave a huge sigh that heaved his shoulders dramatically up and down "How the hell did you get out? I mean, it's obvious that you got out here" he said pointing to a jagged mess of metal on the side of the car "but it looks like you _tore_ your way out... how did you do that?"

We approached where Edward was pointing to and both gasped. There was what looked like a massive rip vertically down the passenger door. It would have been impossible for Logan to have simply opened the door because of the damage the impact had created, and so it looked like he had basically torn his way out of the car.

"How did you do that?" I whispered to him, not believing what I was seeing.

He looked terrified and stunned.

"I don't know!" he whispered back shaking his head in disbelief "I did that?"

"It appears so" Edward said in a low tone, narrowing his eyes to examine Logan "So let me ask you again...how did you do that?"

"I _don't know_" Logan said forcefully "I can't remember. It all happened so fast! Do you think that this is what Carlisle meant when he said that The Turtore were given the gift of unbeatable strength when confronted by their enemies?"

"Perhaps" Edward answered absentmindedly, but I could tell he was searching Logan's mind trying to find answers. After a while he seemed to relax a little "I don't know Logan, but that would probably make the most amount of sense"

"Oh man, this sucks" Logan responded, his shoulders slumping like a person defeated "It's one thing that _she_ wrecked my car. It's almost unbearable that I destroyed it as well!"

"Do you want some time alone with the car Logan?" I teased.

Logan looked back at me with a goofy grin "Part of the healing process?" he joked "I might take a closer look though Bella, just to see if there is any hope left for the old girl"

I shook my head smiling and left him there looking fondly at his car.

I headed up to Charlie's room to begin to pack some of his belongings, but stood helplessly in the middle of the room.

I never came in here and it seemed wrong that I was in here now, as if I was snooping or intruding. It was funny that two people could live with each other for so long and yet not be familiar with the places in which they spend a great deal of their time. This was Charlie's cave and I had always respected the sanctity of his personal space, as he did mine.

My mind returned involuntary to how I felt when I first saw Charlie lying in the hospital. If Logan hadn't been there today I would be here in Charlie's room for a much different purpose...to find the outfit Charlie would spend the rest of eternity in. And if things had gone much differently between Edward and me, it would have been Charlie entering the foreign world of my room searching for clues or finding treasures to cling to.

I shook myself free from those thoughts, un-eager to embrace them again without the reassurance and support of Alice by my side.

Opening up the closet doors, I was hit by my father's musky scent. Closing my eyes, I breathed it in and silently thanked the powers that be that I was only picking out clothes to take to the hospital and not for a more serious occasion. I picked out a few casual clothes and grabbed a bag to pack them in.

Having done that I turned to stare at his dressing table as if it was my enemy. It was one thing to enter my father's room and closet, it was another thing to pick out underwear for him.

Edward strolled casually into the room carrying a toilet bag.

"I've gotten everything he will need from the bathroom and I thought I'd save you from having to sneak a peek in here" he said, heading to the dressing table and shooting me a cheeky wink.

"Thanks" I replied and took a seat on the edge of Charlie's bed.

As Edward located what he needed from Charlie's draws I took this opportunity to attempt a discussion with him.

"So...." I said hesitantly.

"Mmm hmm" Edward responded, not looking at me and busying himself with putting things in the bag I had prepared.

"How have you been since you left Forks" I blurted out, cringing at my lack of subtlety.

Edward stopped what he was doing and looked at me with an intensely serious stare. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed heavily, then took a seat next to me on the bed.

"I heard what Alice told you about me in the hospital" Edward stated, staring straight ahead.

"Don't be angry at her Edward. She was just trying to defend you" I said quietly.

"I'm not angry at her" He replied, but his jaw was clenched indicating that something was causing him great distress "In fact, I don't think I deserve the unfaltering support and understanding she gives me" He turned to look me in the eyes "I caused her so much pain forcing her to leave you like that. Actually the whole family suffered a great deal because of me. And seeing what it did to you...." He stopped there and put his face in his hands. He sat there quietly for a while before groaning and pushing himself off the bed. He walked to the far wall and placed his hands up against it to support himself, his shoulders hunched over.

"I've seen through other people's thoughts what I did to you by leaving and I don't think I will ever stop feeling the torture that comes from those images. " He turned to lean his back against the wall and look at me with an expression that was hard to decipher...anguish, guilt, anger and perhaps regret "I could apologise to you for the rest of your life and never make a dent on the debt I owe you"

So that was it. That was what his pain was all about. He felt bad for how destroyed I was.

I shook my head and stared down at my clenched hands, surprised that a few uninvited tears splashed down upon them. I was right all along - he was simply acting out of guilt and responsibility and while I couldn't hate him or blame him for that, I was deeply disappointed that he wasn't acting out of more.

I didn't even notice he had come to crouch right in front of me until I felt his cold palm press against the side of my face.

"Bella?" He whispered and I looked up into his pleading face "Tell me what you are thinking"

"It doesn't matter" I whispered back.

Every inch of me was yearning to tell him everything: how much I wished he still loved me - that he would say he was an idiot to leave me and beg for me to take him back - but I couldn't run the risk of unleashing the emotions such sentences would extract from me, and I wouldn't create for myself the embarrassment that would follow.

"It matters to me" he replied, moving closer so that our faces were almost touching. I could feel his cool breath against my lips and my whole body shuddered from the thrill it gave me. He had placed his hands to rest on either side of my body on the bed, which forced him to position his body in the space between my knees. It felt more intimate than anything we had dared to experience before and my control was slipping rapidly.

Shuddering with each intake of breath, I tried to find some words to offer Edward but found myself only crying more steadily. He moved one hand to trace the line of my tears down my face with an expression of pain and confusion, and then closed his eyes and sighed silently.

"Bella" he murmured, opening his lids just a fraction to fix me with a look of pure intensity "I don't know if I should say this, but...."

The piercing ring of Edward's phone interrupted his sentence. Both of us cursed under our breath and Edward grabbed the phone out his pocket and examined it.

"It's Alice" he said regretfully, moving to stand up "I better get this, it could be important"

"Sure" I sighed "I'll go see how Logan's doing" and then quickly exited the room before Edward could see the wrenching disappointment pouring from my body.

Logan was sitting very still at the kitchen table when I came down the stairs.

"How are you holding up?" I asked gently.

"I don't know" he murmured quietly in response "I thought I was ok with everything, but the more I think about it the more freaked out I'm getting"

"I can imagine" I sympathised, taking a seat beside him "Not only have you found out about vampires and werewolves, but you also find out that your part of this whole saga as well. I'm sorry for dragging you into all of this Logan"

"Don't be" Logan replied, grabbing my hand in his "I'm not freaked out about all of that...well actually I am, that was I lie" He admitted blushing "But mainly I'm freaked out that I might not be what we suspect I am and I may end up getting someone hurt or killed. I'm used to dealing with the scary unknown, I'm just not used to actually being able to do something about it. When mom was sick it was terrifying, but I knew all along that there was nothing at all I could do to save her. I had no sense of responsibility for her life on my shoulders. Don't get me wrong, I am ready to do all it takes to protect you Bella" He said grabbing my hand even harder "I'm just scared it won't be enough"

I squeezed his hand in return and simply looked into his eyes. This fragility, this vulnerability was something I could relate to. Even though he was possibly more powerful than any other person around me, it touched me that he was as frightened and unsure as I was. It was refreshing.

"It'll be ok Logan, I promise" I comforted him.

He just smiled sweetly at me.

"Always looking out for others Bella. Honestly, how did you get to be such a perfect soul?"

"I could say the same thing about you" I replied warmly.

I heard Edward's footsteps as he came down the stairs from Charlie's room. Turning to face him I noticed he looked extremely tense and serious. His brows were knitted together in intense concern.

"Edward?" I asked "What's wrong? What did Alice tell you?"

"She had a vision" Edward replied strained. Whatever it was, it was obviously pretty bad because Edward didn't seem pleased in the slightest that Alice's visions had returned.

"But I thought she couldn't see the future anymore" I said confused.

"She thought so too" he replied "but it appears that whoever Victoria's friend is is getting sloppy."

"What did she see?" Logan asked, his voice wavering with fear. He could obviously sense what I could – whatever Alice's vision was, it was not a pleasant one.

"She saw Carlisle getting attacked by Victoria and another vampire outside an old farmhouse. She saw him...killed"

"NO!" I gasped, putting my hands over my mouth to stop me from screaming.

Edward shot me a tense look, but kept his jaw firmly clenched. I could tell he was trying to stay calm in what must be an extremely terrifying situation for him.

"Alice rang Carlisle to tell him of her vision. He was on his way to a farmhouse not far out of town. Evidently he had been back to the hospital to check on Charlie and overheard two police officers discussing a number of wild beasts they had found drained of blood just out of town. He thought maybe Alicia, the missing vampire that the Denali coven told us about, was there and went to investigate. Thankfully, Alice caught him on the phone before he reached the house. He's staying where he is for now and will wait for the others to join him. It looks like we may have found where Victoria and her friend have been hiding all this time"

I could feel my face growing cold with shock and could see that Logan was visibly terrified.

"Are you going to join Carlisle too?" Logan asked, his voice merely a whisper.

Edward shook his head "No" and then he looked at me with fear in his eyes "I can't risk anything happening to you while I'm away. The others can take care of it"

Although Edward's voice gave none of it away, I could see the yearning in his eyes. He desperately wanted to go help his family, but was torn between helping them with this battle and protecting me from danger.

I knew that I couldn't let him do this. I couldn't let him sacrifice his family's safety because of his misguided notion of responsibility and guilt. I would rather face Victoria alone than have to look at Edward's pain and regret if anything should happen to one of the others.

I walked to Edward and placed my hand upon his arm.

"Edward, as much as I want to keep you safe here with me I think perhaps you should go" I said through my shaking voice "Logan and I can head to the hospital...."

Edward cut me off by shaking his head again "No, you can't Bella"

"But we're going there anyway" I tried to reason with him "You could just drop us off there and..."

"No" Edward interrupted, his voice firmer this time and his face still as worried "What I mean is you can't go to the hospital Bella. Carlisle picked up the scent of the other vampire there"

"What!" Logan and I exclaimed simultaneously.

"I thought you couldn't detect their scent at the moment?" Logan asked confused.

"Again, it appears someone's getting sloppy. Carlisle picked up the scent in the hallway and in his office. He thinks they might have been in there looking for information. They didn't go into Charlie's room however" Edward said reassuringly "So it looks like Esme and Rosalie are making fine guards. Needless to say though, we can't run the risk of you going there in case this other vampire is either still there or returns"

I turned away from Edward and looked out the window into the darkening night.

So here it was...the beginning of the end.

I knew on the car ride home from the Cullen's that things were beginning to speed towards the inevitable showdown, but I really had no idea that it would happen so soon. I was numb with shock and began to feel quite nauseated by the spinning of my thoughts.

Looking over to Logan, I could see that he was in just as much shock as I was. His eyes looked dark and clouded with worry. His body had gone unnaturally still and he, like Edward, stood clenching his jaw furiously with his brows furrowed in thought.

We stood like that for a while. All three of us standing silently frozen, unspeaking. It felt like the room was filled with a thousand screams though and I realised it was the atmosphere of our combined worry and racing thoughts.

Logan was the first to speak.

"I think you should go Edward" he said quietly and slowly, picking his words carefully "Your family needs you. I'll stay here and protect Bella"

I turned to look at him in shock. I expected to see _my_ Logan - the clumsy young man with the nervous smile - but instead I saw a new Logan...his shoulders were square, his jaw firmly set with confidence, his voice determined and brave.

Edward was as equally shocked, but I also detected great doubt on his face "No Logan, I can't do that. We have no idea if you are even able to protect Bella. So far we only have theories and assumptions"

"You're wrong" Logan said seriously, turning to look Edward straight in the eyes "Look at what I did to my car! That is more than just theory or assumption. That is proof that when needed I can do it."

"But you don't even know how you did it!" Edward replied, irritation creeping into his voice.

"Does it matter?" Logan shot back with equal irritation "The fact is that I did it. Do you know how you work? How you are given strength and the ability to read minds? No! So don't think for a second that just because I don't know how I scared Victoria away or ripped open the car door that I didn't do it and couldn't do it again!"

Edward stood up a little straighter and squared his shoulders, leaning a little closer towards Logan.

"Do you honestly believe that making Victoria run away and damaging a car indicates to me that you can protect Bella from torture and death at the hands of two sadistic vampires?" Edward seethed and I suddenly realised what was happening here...they were beginning to fight for the responsibility to protect me. I wanted to shout at them to stop it in outrage - once again I was being squabbled over like a possession, or more accurately a burden - but I didn't know what to say. The gravity of everything that was unfolding was too enormous to respond to this pathetic battle Edward and Logan were having.

"Suit yourself" Logan spat back "If you would rather let your family face this alone because your too proud to admit that someone else can protect Bella just as well, if not better, than you then you can just live with the consequences"

"What Logan is trying to say" I said gently to Edward in an effort to dispel the conflict that was threatening to break out "Is that it may not be the best idea to let Carlisle, Alice, Jasper and Emmett face this thing alone. We know of two vampires, but what if there are more? I don't think it's wise they confront this thing right now when everyone is so scattered. Why don't you go bring them back here so we can get Charlie moved from the hospital to a safer place and face this thing together?"

"I don't know...." Edward muttered, obviously turning over what I had said in his mind.

"Look, I'm really sorry for being so rude just then" Logan offered in apology "But I think Bella's right. Why don't you go bring your family back and we can face this thing together?"

As Edward returned my stare, I saw his features soften and his body begin to relax.

"Ok" he relinquished "that makes sense. But I'm warning you" Edward said turning his attention to Logan "If one hair on Bella's head is hurt on our return I will hold you completely responsible"

Logan nodded seriously "I don't plan on that happening Edward. I would do anything for Bella...you know that"

"Mmmm" Edward grumbled and then turned to face me "You stay put. Not so much as one toe out of the doorframe, do you understand?"

"Yes" I whispered.

"I will be back as fast as I can. If anything happens you call me immediately, ok?"

Both Logan and I nodded.

Edward drew closer to me and placed his hand against my cheek "I'll be back soon" he breathed huskily and then briefly, but sweetly, kissed the top of my forehead.

And then he was gone.

I stood staring at the front door that Edward had just rand out of and was struck by an uneasy feeling of hopelessness.

Suddenly I wanted to run out after him and beg him not to go. It was stupid of me, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something incredibly awful was about to happen and I yearned to have him here at my side again.

Sighing, I shook my head in an attempt to rid myself of this foreboding feeling and turned to face Logan.

He was simply standing there staring into space, lost in deep thought. He looked so concerned and confused, yet with the same confident determination he had shown earlier.

I decided to leave him to these thoughts, not sure if anything I had to say right now would help. I didn't want to bring him down with my unease and doubt, and so I headed to the kitchen to try and find something to cook. If we were confined to the house, we may as well do something productive and I thought that food in our stomachs would help give us strength to face whatever was coming our way.

I was clinking around in the kitchen cupboards when Logan's voice broke the unnatural silence that had fallen upon the house.

"We need to get out of here" he simply said.

I spun around and looked at him incredulously.

"What? Why?...no!" I stammered. We had promised Edward we would stay put until he returned and couldn't understand why Logan was suggesting we break that promise and put ourselves in more danger.

"Bella" Logan said in a low tone "I know we told Edward we would stay here, but right now we are sitting ducks. They know where you live and they could possibly know that you're alone now too. We _need_ to get out of here"

What Logan was saying made sense...it did feel like we were extremely vulnerable and easy prey staying here at the house, but it felt even more reckless and stupid to head out into the dark on our own with no one knowing where we were.

"I understand where you're coming from Logan, but I don't think getting out of here will make us any safer. On the contrary I think it will put us at greater risk. I'm scared and worried too, ok, but we just need to stay calm and wait for the others to return. I'm sure they won't be long."

"Then we'll text Edward to let him know where we're heading and he can meet us there" Logan continued "If they won't be long then they will be with us soon, and if anything happens to them then at least we'll be at a safer location."

_If anything happens to them?_ Those words brought instant tears to my eyes and sent my mind reeling towards panic.

"If anything happens to them" I whimpered "then I don't give a damn what happens to me. If anything happens to them it will be entirely my fault. If anything happens to them..."

I was beginning to slip into hysteria. I had to admit to myself that Edward and the others had gone into a potentially deadly situation and there were no guarantees that I would ever get the chance to see any of them again.

The thought of any of the Cullen's being hurt or killed because of me was so unbearable that it caused me actual physical pain and sickness. I looked at Logan and could no longer stop myself from crumpling under the burden of what had just happened. Sobs tore from my body with such violence that I had to bend over and rest my hands on my knees in order to prevent myself from collapsing.

Logan rushed towards me, scooping me into his arms. As we sat together on the kitchen floor he rocked me gently and stroked my hair, murmuring over and over again "I'm sorry Bella...I'm so sorry"

We sat like that for a while, my sobs growing less violent with the passing of time and the warmth of Logan's embrace.

Finally Logan spoke.

"Bella, please forgive me. I didn't mean to upset you like that. I'm sure that everything is going to be ok. I was just being stupid and scared and I wish to _god_ that I had kept my thoughts to myself"

"I hate this Logan" I said meekly, still nestled into the comfort of hiss arms "I hate all of this so much"

"I know" Logan muttered "it's not fair and it's not right, but we'll get through this, ok? I will not leave your side, I promise"

I opened my mouth to say something in reply when a loud noise from the living room made both of us jump sky high.

It was a phone ringing.

"My phone" Logan exclaimed "I totally forgot to call my sister!"

We both stood up and he rushed into the dining room searching for where the sound was coming from, desperate to find the phone before it stopped ringing. After what seemed like an eternity of watching Logan heave papers and cushions around the room, he triumphantly pulled the phone out from the back of the couch.

"It's my sister!" he exclaimed looking at the caller display.

"You better take that" I whispered huskily, my voice still thick from my emotional outpouring "I'll go find us something to eat"

My hands were shaking from what had just happened and I welcomed the distraction from my worries that searching for food provided.

Placing a pizza in the oven that I found in the bowels of the freezer I looked over at Logan who seemed much more relaxed now. Still on the phone, he was absentmindedly pacing around the living room, running his hands through his hair and smiling or laughing every now and then.

Placing two cans of coke I found in the fridge on the bench top I looked out the window, searching the now completely black evening for any signs of watchers or protectors. As far as I could see, the night outside was empty and motionless.

I shuddered, drawing my arms around myself and swaying gently in order to combat the wave of unease that kept creeping into me.

Logan was right, we were sitting ducks here. Furthermore, the dizzying sense that things were escalating at an alarming rate pressed heavily upon me... scents in the hospital, Carlisle's investigation, Alice's vision...I couldn't help but wonder if it was a trap.

I tried to comfort myself with the thought that the Cullen's were smart...if it was a trap they would know about it. But if the trap maker was clever they would have realised that threatening Carlisle would have everyone acting hastily, for he was the central figure of the family. Threaten him and you can be sure that the rest of the family would scramble to save him.

And who was the trap for? Was it to catch the Cullen's or was it to kill me?

Whatever the case, this just didn't feel right. I remembered back to the first night I had been reunited with the Cullen's and how Edward had said that the 'missing' scent seemed like it was right there in front of his face, but that he just couldn't pick it up. I had that feeling now, like the cause of my unease was right there to be discovered, to be deciphered, but that I couldn't quite figure it out.

It was a frustrating feeling, to have a sense that you actually have the answers but you can't find them. Similar to having words 'on the tip of your tongue' that you can't recall, or feeling a sense of déjà vue and trying to pinpoint what exactly about that moment you have experienced before.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice the figure behind me until I saw the face appear next to mine in the reflection of the window.

I screamed loudly and jumped into the air, before calming myself down enough to turn around and blush wildly at Logan.

"Sorry Logan" I gasped, my hand clutched over my chest in an effort to steady my breathing "I didn't see you until you were right behind me"

"Sorry" Logan said embarrassed, obviously just as shaken by my reaction as I was "I should have noticed you were away with the fairies! Are you ok?"

"I'm fine" I shook my head and laughed "How's your sister?"

Logan started beaming from ear to ear "She sounds better than she has for ages! I think getting out of her funk and actually doing something has made the world of difference! It makes me so happy to think that for now something really positive has come out of all of this mess!"

"That's really good to hear!" I smiled warmly at Logan "So she's staying away from here for a wee while?"

"Yeah" Logan replied "She's got a few things she wants to do before she comes home...Coke and pizza huh?" He said eying the food I had found with a raised eyebrow "Seems like something I would cook"

"Yeah well I'm not really up to cooking a three course meal right now" I muttered.

"Yeah" Logan said slowly "look, I'm really sorry about before. I was just letting my nerves and my 'flight' instinct get the better of me. I can't stand it that I made you so upset. Forgive me?"

He looked at me with the hugest puppy-dog eyes and I attempted to smile in return, but knew that it had hardly reached the corners of my lips, let alone my eyes.

"Hey!" Logan exclaimed moving closer towards me "Are you ok Bells? You don't look very well"

"This doesn't feel right" I whispered, raising my eyes to meet his "Do you get the feeling that something's not right?"

Logan chewed his lip, trying to think of what to say to me and then closed that gap between us to pull me into his arms in a comforting hug "Just the opposite in fact" he said quietly and I sank into the strength I was finding in his confidence and his embrace "I believe everything is going to be fine"

"You think so?" I asked, my voice small and lost.

He pulled back to look me in the eyes "I know so" he said "I promise you. Don't let my fears earlier give you any doubts ok! Everything's going to go according to plan, of that I am positive. Now I'm off to find us some mind numbing television to watch because I know how fond of it you are and I don't want you to worry anymore ok?"

"Ok" I said in a light manner, but as I stood in the middle of the kitchen watching Logan flick through the channels something he had just said played over and over again in my mind. As much as I tried to push it out, it kept forcing its way back into my thoughts with increasing intensity and foreboding - _'Everything's going to go according to plan' -_

Whose plan...ours or hers?


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** So here it is...the chapter that will send us hurtling towards the end of my story! At the moment there are only 3 or 4 more chapters to go, although everything is always amendable. Please please forgive me if I haven't written in Edward's POV very well...I tried so hard, but find it much more comfortable to write as Bella. Hopefully this chapter doesn't disappoint too much!

I don't own twilight etc.

**End of Last Chapter: **_He pulled back to look me in the eyes "I know so" he said "I promise you. Don't let my fears earlier give you any doubts ok! Everything's going to go according to plan, of that I am positive. Now I'm off to find us some mind numbing television to watch because I know how fond of it you are and I don't want you to worry anymore ok?"_

"_Ok" I said in a light manner, but as I stood in the middle of the kitchen watching Logan flick through the channels something he had just said played over and over again in my mind. As much as I tried to push it out, it kept forcing its way back into my thoughts with increasing intensity and foreboding - 'Everything's going to go according to plan' -_

_Whose plan...ours or hers?_

Chapter Fourteen

**EDWARDS POV**

Once I hit the boundaries of the forest, I hesitated and turned to look back at Bella's house. Through the window I could see Bella wandering around the kitchen while Logan was staring off into the distance.

I clenched my eyes tightly shut and swore under my breath. What was I thinking leaving her alone with only Logan to protect her? Was I crazy?

There was something about him that I didn't like. I had a gut feeling that something wasn't right with that kid...I just simply couldn't put my finger on exactly what that was.

Ever since the first day I had seen him, it made me extremely uncomfortable to hear his barrage of adoring thoughts about Bella. It took all of my control not to break his fragile bones every time I heard him pine away silently for her.

Even worse, I hated how much Bella had seemed to have accepted him into her life and affections with little to no hesitation. It had torn me apart to overhear their conversation that day in the forest. I was so bitterly jealous of their closeness and their bond. He knew _nothing_ of her heart, not like I did...he didn't deserve her time let alone her love.

It appeared that he had already fallen head over heels in love with her and, while I couldn't blame him, it made me sick to leave her alone in his company. I knew I had no right to her, but it didn't stop my rage and revulsion at him for loving her the way he did. Even though there was a part of me that believed she would never return his feelings in the consuming way he desired, it didn't erase the terror and pain that came from picturing her happy and loving someone else, someone like him.

Her beauty and uniqueness had not faded one inch since I had left her and the grief I felt at having thrown our future together away five months ago was ever present in my mind. Alice had been spot on when she had described how tormented and on the verge of self-destruction I had been, and still was, because of my actions.

What a complete idiot I was. In hindsight, it was hard to believe how I could ever think that leaving her unprotected and isolated here would keep her safe. I, more than most in this world, knew that true monsters lurked in the shadows of this earth. After all, I was one of them.

I began to run with fury through the forest, trying to escape the feelings of grief and injustice I was experiencing. I needed to find the others and return home to my Bella, my love, before any more damage could be done.

I knew the error of my ways now and while I still believed that staying with her was selfish on my part, I also had to accept that there was no other life for me. She was everything to me, without her I ceased to exist, and the connection and electricity I felt when we were close was undeniable.

I would not make the error of risking her love again...there was and would never be another Bella. To throw away such a beautiful and rare gift, the gift of such a perfect soul in my life, was not a mistake I would make twice. As much as I wanted her to have a normal life, I was beginning to realise that Bella was destined for an extraordinary existence.

I finally picked up the scent of Carlisle and the others. To my dismay that were already on the move, heading in the direction of the farmhouse I could see in the distance.

Slowing down as the house grew larger in my view I was immediately assaulted by a myriad of scents...those of my family, but also those of my enemies.

The scents keep violently chopping in and out of my awareness – one minute strong, then gone the next. Victoria's scent was easy to identify, as was the sickly familiar smell of the second vampire we had detected the day we encountered Jacob Black in the woods.

My heart dropped when I realised that there were more scents here...so Bella had been right, there were more vampires than we knew of.

Focussing attention to my sense of smell, I felt a small relief to note that there were only three other mystery vampire scents...three more was three too many, but I knew that our luck could have been much worse. Three was manageable.

I noticed Jasper and Emmett across the clearing at the back of the house and then immediately saw Carlisle and Alice only yards in front of where I had paused.

They were focussed on the grass yard in front of the house, where two unfamiliar vampires crouched in a defensive position ready to pounce...it looked like I wouldn't be able to return to Bella anytime soon and I cursed violently under my breath once again.

"Edward" Alice hissed as she saw me approach "What the hell are you doing here! Why aren't you with Bella?"

"I came to try and convince you to regroup back home before doing anything stupid...I guess I'm too late for that" I growled in return.

"Edward!" Carlisle whispered in shock, looking back at me with worry in his eyes "You shouldn't be here. You need to get back to Bella".

The panic in his voice was obvious and I searched their minds for clues as to why Carlisle, who normally was so centred and calm, would be so worried.

Alice was thinking about her earlier vision. In it, Carlisle had been standing not far from here wearing a pair of jeans, a light blue sweater with a white collared shirt underneath. But instead, here Carlisle crouched in a pair of black slacks and a dark green knitted sweater with a black shirt underneath.

"So" I muttered, not able to hide the irritation from my voice "So you got Carlisle's wardrobe wrong...hardly cause for panic don't you think?"

Alice scowled at me.

"Think about it Edward, if it had been a true vision I would have seen everything exactly as it would have occurred...down to the very last button"

I took a step back with the sickening realisation of the significance of what Alice was saying. Her vision had been planted...it wasn't a true vision she had experienced, but instead someone had created it and given it to her.

"It's a trap!" I gasped, feeling winded and nauseous.

"I'm sorry Edward" Alice cried grabbing my hand "If I'd have known you were coming here I would have called to tell you. I just assumed you would have stayed with Bella"

But instead I had allowed Bella and Logan to convince me into leaving them. They were at the house now, blissfully unaware that they might have been handed directly to Victoria by my stupidity.

I glanced across to the two vampires outside the house. They looked eager and hungry to fight and were just waiting for us to make the first move.

I had never felt so torn in my life. My family needed here, but Bella was possibly in grave danger right this very second.

I tried to convince myself that my family could easily take care of the situation here, that they didn't need me and I could race home to Bella's side. However, with Alice's vision having been planted and the scents still appearing and then disappearing I felt uneasy at trusting what my vision and smell told me. What if it was a trick and there were dozens more vampires waiting in the house to tear my family to shreds.

"Go Edward" Carlisle whispered "We can take care of this"

I knew in my heart that I couldn't take that risk. I had to stay and fight with my family. I reassured myself by reasoning that if it turns out my senses were correct and there was no immediate danger for my family, I could then rush back to Bella. I could only hope and pray that Logan was able to defend her like he thought he could until I returned.

"Let's get this over with" I hissed seriously and Carlisle nodded.

"It would appear that these vampires are guarding something. It's unusual for them to simply hover when they are aware of our presence out here. Because they have refused to move from what appears to be their posts at either side of the front of the house, I believe they are protecting whatever, or whoever, is inside" Carlisle explained.

Turning my attention to the farmhouse, I used my ability to search for any thoughts, any images, contained within its walls that would reveal to us its contents.

Nothing....I heard nothing.

Focussing on the guards was much the same. Every now and then I would get a brief glimpse of an image or thought, but nothing that indicated what it was they were doing here. Mostly I could see an extreme and aching thirst combined with a desire to hunt, which led me to suspect that these were newly born vampires. They were obviously not completely fresh as they managed to control their behaviour and stick to an assigned task, but new enough to be dominated by visions and desires of thirst and blood.

"Newborns" I whispered under my breath.

"Which makes me worry" Carlisle answered, chewing his lip in thought "that if there are two newborns that we can see, how many more are actually out there?"

I heard Alice whimper and turned to look at her. She was having a vision, but it kept cutting in and out. I couldn't make out anything other than it appeared to be at Bella's house and Bella looked frightened.

"Alice!" I shouted, panic and terror ripping through my body.

"I'm sorry Edward" she gasped, still staring into space hoping to capture some more of the vision "I can't see anything else...someone is stopping me from seeing it all"

Jasper and Emmett joined us where we were huddled in the long grass.

Jasper looked with tender concern at Alice and sat down close in front of her, his forehead resting against hers. His thoughts were thick with worry and compassion for what she was going through. He knew how much she wanted to help by using her power and how much it was tearing her apart to be so close to seeing something and yet not able to grasp the vision in her mind.

"Alice?" he whispered. She pulled back slightly and her eyes focussed on the real world again. She turned to soak in the comfort of Jaspers gaze.

"It's not fair Jasper" she sighed "The vision is so close, I just can't see what it means"

"It doesn't matter what the details are" I growled, changing my mind about our course of action after seeing the fleeting vision of Bella "The fact was that Bella is terrified and we need to get back to her immediately!"

"No" Emmett thundered and we all looked at him shocked "Bro, I can totally sympathise with you and trust me I want Bella to be safe, but turning back now when we're obviously so close is only going to put everyone in more danger. Lets do this and kick some ass and then we can all go home and relax"

I was furious! How could Emmett even suggest such a thing! "Have you lost your mind?" I spat at him "Bella's life could be in danger and you're more interested in flexing your muscles?"

Emmett turned to me with a stare that I had never seen on his face before. It was hauntingly serious, foreign to a face that normally was so easy and relaxed.

"I have left Rosalie in that hospital where we know a vampire has been, or even still is. Carlisle has left Esme there as well. Don't think for one second that you are the only one who has potentially sacrificed the safety of the one person they value most in this world. I have not lost my mind; I simply want to give myself peace of mind by not dragging this situation out and by dealing with it here and now. You of all people should know how much more damage can be caused by running away from a situation"

"Emmett is right" Carlisle stated "I'm guessing the reason why we are able to, if only briefly, pick up scents and for Alice's scattered vision is because we are very close to discovering whoever is behind all this. Perhaps the vampire responsible is panicked because of our presence here. To turn away now is to put all of us at greater risk and to draw out this battle for much longer than any of us want. Edward, can you tell us anything about what the guards, or what they are protecting, are thinking?"

I shook my head "Only glimpses of thirst. It appears my power is being blocked also"

"But you haven't mentioned before that your power had been interfered with!" Alice said confused.

She was right. The reason why I hadn't considered that my power had been tampered with before now was because I had not experienced any gaps or holes in my ability to hear others' thoughts.

My already cold blood ran even colder when I entertained what the significance of this could mean. Alice had been given a false vision earlier today...did that mean that I had been given false thoughts? My mind started swirling from the possibilities that this opened up...what had I missed? What was being hidden from us?

I knew then that Emmett and Carlisle were right...we needed to deal with this situation right now otherwise we would spend all of our time second guessing ourselves, looking over our shoulders afraid of what we weren't seeing.

"We need to see who's in that house _now_!" I growled.

"That's the spirit!" Emmett whooped quietly, slapping my back "So, what's the plan?"

"The guards are newborn" Jasper spoke "They'll be strong, but their actions will be uncoordinated, unskilled. They favour direct attacks so if we approach them through smart manoeuvring, being mindful of their weaknesses and strengths, we should easily be able to defeat them"

"What do you suggest? " Carlisle asked, aware that in this subject Jasper was the expert.

"To defeat them we will need skill, agility and strength" and he looked at Emmett and Alice with an excited smile on his face.

"The holy trinity, brother" Emmett exclaimed, becoming unable to sit still with excitement "Shall the three musketeers take care of this one while Carlisle and Edward head into the house to see what's inside?"

"Do you think you'll be able to handle them on your own?" I asked, not willing to put anybody at risk.

Alice shot me a dirty look and cursed silently at me in her head.

That settled it then. Emmett, Jasper and Alice would take care of the guards allowing Carlisle and myself to see exactly who was being protected inside.

I could see the guards becoming uneasy as they listened in to our conversation. It was clear through their body language that they were conducting an inner battle with themselves. They kept shifting their stance and shooting each other looks. Obviously they were under strict orders not to move from their posts, but overhearing our plans made them almost burst from their skins in order to protect themselves.

Unfortunately for them we gave them no time to work through their dilemma, bolting into action immediately. Rushing towards them I could see the reds of their irises shining brightly, enhanced by the thrill and terror of the battle they now were thrust into.

I almost laughed out loud as I saw the first guard taken down by Jasper within seconds and I knew that Jasper and the others would find no competition here. These guards were no match for the determined and powerful adversaries that were now ending their short and tragic lives.

Carlisle and I entered the house as wearily as we could, although both of us were mindful that we had to act fast in case whoever was in here decided to flee.

Inside, the house was thick and crowded with dust and cobwebs. Whoever was here had not disturbed their surroundings much.

"Do you smell that?" Carlisle whispered to me, halting my movement with his arm.

I concentrated and understood what Carlisle meant. The scent of a vampire, completely unfamiliar, was darting in and out of our consciousness with lightening speed.

_God help me!_ A frightened female voice screamed in my head and then quickly vanished.

Carlisle had been right; whoever was blinding our senses was panicked or scared. Their control over their powers was becoming fragmented with fear.

I looked at Carlisle and raised my eyes to the ceiling, indicating that whoever we were searching for was upstairs.

He nodded and then mouthed "Only one?"

I nodded in reply. Whoever was in the house appeared to be alone.

Quickly, but carefully, we ran up the stairs following only our instincts. They did not fail us and upon reaching the top of the stairs we entered what would have been the house owner's master bedroom.

And there she was.

She sat in an old rocking chair placed in the centre of the room, quiet and still yet visibly terrified. She was extraordinarily beautiful with a striking vulnerability and fragility about her. Her hair was the colour of gold, long and flowing over her body which was almost as painfully thin as Alice's. Her face was angelic but her eyes were swimming with terror.

_Her eyes Edward, look at her eyes_ Carlisle said silently to me and on closer inspection I was stunned to notice her eyes were a caramel coloured topaz...she was one of us!

She just sat their trembling and I could only wonder what on earth this woman's part to play in all of this was.

_Keep focussed Alicia, you have to block him_

I was shocked at the lilting melody of the sweet woman's voice that filled my head.

"Alicia?" I asked and she looked at me stunned.

_He can hear me!_

"Yes" I whispered and saw her body slump defeated. She was still able to block me out, but her control was slipping and she knew it.

"Alicia" Carlisle said gently "My name is Carlisle, and this is my son Edward. We are friends with the Denali's. They have been very worried about you...have you been hurt?"

Carlisle was so diplomatic it was frustrating. I was yearning to grab her and shake her until she told us what exactly was going on here, but I knew that course of action wouldn't get us the answers we desired. Furthermore, looking at her I had the feeling that she didn't deserve that sort of behaviour. I understood the Denali's reservations about her involvement in this situation...she exuded gentleness and compassion and it was almost impossible to reconcile this with Victoria's disgusting plans. Even though she was part of all of this, I couldn't shake the feeling that she was not a willing participant.

"No" she whispered in reply, but refused to elaborate or move a muscle. She simply sat in her chair and stared at us.

Emmett, Jasper and Alice bounded into the room and stopped dead in their tracks when they saw Alicia. They looked exactly how I had felt upon first seeing Alicia...surprised, wary, mesmerised and compassionate. I could hear Alice's internal struggle between wanting to attack and wanting to comfort this strange creature.

"The guards are taken care of" Emmett said to Carlisle although he never took his eyes or his expression of wonderment off Alicia "But there's no sign of Victoria"

"She has gone" Alicia whispered gently.

Everything about her seemed peaceful and non-threatening and it was difficult to fathom how she had ended up collaborating with Victoria. I had a feeling that this whole situation was not going to be as straightforward as 'good guys versus bad guys', but would be defined and complicated by the numerous shades of grey to be found between the black and the white.

"Tell us where she has gone" Jasper demanded.

It didn't surprise me to hear the hostility in his voice. Although he too was drawn in by her beauty and vulnerability, he knew all too well the perils of underestimating or turning your back on other vampires. He was no stranger to battle and in some ways he was better equipped to lead us through this landmine of confusion than any of us.

"I do not know" she replied and I could hear the fear still strongly present in her voice "She does not tell me such things"

"Well, what does she tell you then? " Jasper continued.

"Nothing" Alicia replied caustically, shaking her head in what seemed like disgust towards Victoria "She tells me nothing"

It was obvious that Alicia had a great distaste for Victoria and I had to assume she was here then not of her own free will. But looking around the room I saw no restraints, no bars and it appeared that Alicia was completely unharmed. She was obviously able to hunt in the bordering forest, as that was had alerted us to her presence.

None of this was adding up.

"How have you come to be here Alicia?" Carlisle inquired softly "How did she convince you to help her?"

Alicia brought her beautiful, large eyes to rest on Carlisle with a look of pure anger and defiance "I do _nothing_ for that foul beast. I would rather die than serve her!"

"Then why are you here?" Carlisle pushed "What is your role to play in all of this?"

Alicia returned her gaze towards the floor and became silent and unresponsive once more. It would have been frustrating and enraging beyond tolerance if it weren't for the play of remorse, fear and sorrow etched across her face. I got the sense that she was more victim than perpetrator in this whole affair.

"We can help you Alicia, protect you. I can see by the colour of your eyes that you share the same regard for human life as us, that you too desire to be something better than you are. You just need to tell us what we need to know and I swear we will protect you from her" Carlisle offered.

Instead of comforting Alicia, this made her even more distraught and she hunched herself over in her chair, holding her face in her hands and tearlessly sobbing

_Oh God, what have I done?_

"What _have_ you done Alicia?" I asked in response to her thought. She looked at me stunned and frightened.

"I'm losing control" she muttered weakly to herself "How long before all is lost?"

As Alicia spiralled into panic, a crash of thoughts came rushing upon me. They were disjointed and incomplete as she obviously fought to prevent me from accessing them, but they were full of regret, guilt, fear and hopelessness. I felt nauseated by them.

Suddenly Alice's thoughts came crashing through Alicia's jumble of words.

She was having a vision...Bella was standing in her kitchen, terrified and shaking...the mug in her hand crashing to the floor and shattering. She was staring into someone's eyes...someone's blood red eyes.

And then it was gone, snatched from us by Alicia. I was enraged and desperate, terror and urgency flooding my body.

I lunged towards Alicia in anger, but Carlisle and Alice anticipated my actions and grabbed hold of me, preventing me from unleashing my rage upon her. I struggled against their hold, but eventually surrendered.

"If you wanted to help Victoria settle her score, why not come for me? How could you help her hurt Bella? Bella is a beautiful and innocent soul. How could you aid Victoria to torture and kill her...why?" I screamed, a desperate and mad man struggling against the perverse injustice of what was happening.

"I'm sorry Edward" Alicia gasped, and looking into her eyes I was shocked to realise she truly meant it "I swear, everything I have done has been out of love. I never wanted to use my powers to harm another soul, I promise...I have had no choice in the matter"

"What have you done Alicia?" Carlisle asked gently "What are your powers?"

Alicia looked at Carlisle hesitantly and I could tell her resolve was faltering. He sensed this too and continued "Whatever you have done Alicia, you can make it right. You can save Bella and yourself if you just help us fight this thing. Please...it's not too late"

Alicia's body heaved in dry sobs and she collapsed from her chair onto the ground "Where would I start to undo all that I've done?" she whispered defeated.

"You can start by telling us how you came to be here" Alice prodded carefully.

Alicia just shook her head and sighed "I came here because I was trying to protect someone I love very much. Nothing I have done has been for her. I despise her."

"Then why help her?" Jasper accused.

"I haven't" Alicia replied "And I know that makes no sense to you, but nothing I have done has been to advance her despicable goals or sadistic urges. I thought if I could simply hide things...change things...then I could buy myself some time to put a stop to all this madness, but it's hopeless, it's impossible..."

"Hide things?" I asked.

"My power" Alicia elaborated "Is a combination of both blocking and creative abilities. Everything you can possibly experience...sight, smell, touch, sound and any specials gifts you may possess, I can block them all from entering your consciousness. At the same time I can create new sights, smells and such like to replace those I have blocked. All I have to do is create an image or story in my mind and push it out, like a wave, into the surrounding area"

"I can see now why the Volturi were so eager for you to join their ranks" Carlisle gasped "I have never encountered such an overwhelming gift as yours"

"In my human life I was always able to convince people to see things the way I viewed them. This tendency became quite dramatic and, as you put it, 'overwhelming' upon my transformation"

"So if you are able to block these senses" Carlisle continued "how is it we have been able to detect scents from time to time"

"My power is not completely without its weak points" Alicia admitted "Under normal circumstances my gift is both a subtle and powerful ability. It normally goes completely unnoticed. However, in times of stress or fear it is hard for me to maintain my concentration and focus. I have let slip a few times, which is why you have experienced fleeting glimpses of reality"

"What about my vision today of Carlisle?" Alice asked "Why did you conjure up for me a vision that revealed your location?"

Alicia began to tremble again and wrapped her arms tightly around her body. She closed her eyes and shook her head softly, as if in an attempt to wake herself up from this dream, or more likely nightmare, that she was experiencing.

"It's ok" Jasper soothed, sending out a flood of calm "You can trust us"

Alicia looked up at Jasper with both gratitude and horror. I could tell she was thankful for the relief from her painful anxiety, but also fearful of what this false calmness may make her say or reveal.

After what seemed like an eternity she finally began to nod her head and spoke.

"I did show you where I was today. I don't know whether it was the wisest or most idiotic thing I have done, but it's done now and I can't take it back"

"Why Alicia? Why show us where you were only to deny us answers now we're here?" I shot at her, unable to contain the restless energy that was writhing inside me, yearning to race home to my Bella.

"Because I haven't thought things through" She yelled out to me in a pleading tone "I didn't know what to do and I couldn't just let that poor girl get murdered" My jaw clenched violently in reaction to her words. Pain coursed through my body while I attempted to show no signs of my reaction...I was too afraid that if I interrupted she would close up again and we would still be searching for answers "I thought that maybe if you found me and stopped me... that maybe she would just leave us alone and we could go back to our lives as we knew them before"

_Us...We..._?

"Alicia?" Carlisle asked in a gentle voice "Who else are you referring to? What did you mean when you said 'maybe she would just leave _us_ alone'?"

At this Alicia began to wail, rocking violently back and forth on the floor. Her hands clutched so hard at her face that indentations were beginning to form where her fingers pressed against the skin. This woman was in great torment, far greater than anything that Victoria or we could do to her. It truly broke my heart to watch and made me even more determined to end Victoria's sadistic and disgusting reign of torture and fear.

"Please" Carlisle begged her, sitting beside her on the floor and laying a comforting hand on her shoulder. He looked up at Jasper and pleaded with his eyes for him to calm her down. It took a few minutes, but soon her rocking had reduced to a gently sway and she removed the vice-like grip on her face.

"Please Alicia, you need to tell us. You need to stop this before anything happens that we can't fix...before any lives are taken that can't be brought back"

"It's all my fault" she whispered, staring into space recollecting memories "I was the one that invited Laurent to stay with us. I was the one that brought this evil into our house. As you probably know I live a hermit's life, well hidden and protected from others and especially the Volturi. Less well-known is the fact that I live with another vampire, one which I have shared many centuries with and which, for all intents and purposes, is my brother. Laurent came to visit us and ended up staying for many months. In the end he had to follow his heart and return to the life he once knew. I was sad to see him go...he really did have a good and genuine heart; he just lacked the will and energy to fight the daily battle with his thirst. Nevertheless, when he left I couldn't help but hope that he would soon change his mind and return to us. I never once told him of my powers, but he either deduced them for himself or my brother, William, might have accidently revealed them to him. One day Victoria turned up on our doorstep. She was a stranger to me and William, but since she was a friend of Laurent's I invited her into our home. Laurent had obviously been in contact with her and she knew everything...from where we lived down to our individual powers. She came to our house with the sole purpose of exploiting our abilities to her own wicked ends. Of course I refused and tried to force her from my house, but William was mesmerised by her. He fell so deeply in love that he would not listen to a word I said and he ate very single lie that she fed him. He was willing to follow her to the ends of the earth and there was nothing I could possibly do to convince him otherwise. Victoria told me of her plans for you and I knew that if I didn't follow them here and help my brother that he would surely die"

She paused after divulging all this and looked at us with such desperation in her eyes.

"Please" she begged "he is a good man with a beautiful soul. He is so different to what she has made of him. I just wanted to protect him...but I know now that I can't, it has gone too far"

"Alicia if this is true do you think there is any way we can try to help him, to reach him?" Carlisle asked, but I could scarcely hear him. The blood was beginning to thunder in my ears as all the pieces of the puzzle began to slot horrifically into place. I started to tremble despite all efforts to remain calm.

She shook her head in reply to Carlisle's question "It doesn't appear so. After everything I've done to protect him, he still trusts and aligns himself with her no matter what. He has been completely drawn in and fooled by Victoria...and he of all people should know better"

"Should know better? Why?" I asked...my mouth dry and my voice strained.

"Because" she replied "that is his gift...he has always been able to do it with great power, even in human form. He draws people in. He can make them trust him, love him, follow him. He can reassure peoples' fears and comfort their pain. It's a beautiful gift, but if used for the wrong purposes...."

"Alicia?" I asked, my voice rasping with fire and fear "Who is your brother?"

She bolted to her feet and rushed towards me; grabbing my arms and willing me with her eyes to grant her this reprieve.

"Don't make me tell you, please. If I tell you, I am signing his death warrant!" she cried, her whole body shaking with emotion.

"WHO IS YOUR BROTHER" I repeated with icy venom.

She met my cold stare with one of defeat. I could swear, although impossible, I saw tears forming in the ocean of her eyes. Taking two steps back from us and bracing herself, she finally spoke.

"His name is William Harding...but you know him as Logan"


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** I am truly sorry for how long this has taken me to post this...So many things cropped up over the last few weeks and I haven't had time to even think about the story! I hope this chapter clarifies a few things people were asking about from the last chapter and most of all I hope it makes sense! Please review/pm me if it doesn't.

**End of Last Chapter: **_"Don't make me tell you, please. If I tell you, I am signing his death warrant!" she cried, her whole body shaking with emotion._

"_WHO IS YOUR BROTHER" I repeated with icy venom._

_She met my cold stare with one of defeat. I could swear, although impossible, I saw tears forming in the ocean of her eyes. Taking two steps back from us and bracing herself, she finally spoke._

"_His name is William Harding...but you know him as Logan"_

Chapter fifteen

**EDWARDS POV**

For a while I was aware of nothing but a faint humming in my ears. It was as if time had stood still and for a few seconds I felt blissfully numb.

But this didn't last long, and when the shock quickly wore off, it felt like someone had sucked all the air, all the blood and all the energy from my being. My usually strong legs shook violently from the weight of my trembling body and every inch of me felt like it was on fire.

The humming in my ears was replaced with a horrific noise somewhere in between a boom of thunder and a siren's wail. It took me a moment to recognise that the excruciating noise I was hearing was my own screaming.

Jasper rushed to my side and placed his hand on my shoulder. I knew he was trying to calm me down, but I was in too much pain for his powers to have any effect on me. I pushed his hand away from me in annoyance and rage.

"He's dead" I finally managed to force out, my voice the sound of wrath incarnate "I will rip him apart!"

I was almost out the door when I felt a hard slam against the side of my body and I went flying down upon the ground. Alicia had thrown herself against me catching me off guard, and was now attempting to pin me to the floor. She had been lucky to knock me down. I had been so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I didn't have time to react, but if she didn't get off me immediately she would not be so lucky for much longer.

"You better let go" I snarled at Alicia, baring my teeth in vicious frenzy "I will destroy anything that gets in my way"

"Wait please!" She wailed "Please listen to me, you MUST listen to me!"

But I could not care less about anything more she had to say. I didn't care that Logan used to be a good person, that he used to be a beautiful soul, that she loved him. I could not care less...all I was focussed on was watching the sadistic light fade from his eyes as I ended his disgusting and worthless life.

He was as good as dead...that's all I cared about.

"Edward" Carlisle growled, placing his hands upon my shoulders and holding me firmly to the ground.

"I mean it Carlisle, I will let NOTHING stand in my way" I yelled at him, shaking through my rage and terror.

"Does he know?" Alicia screeched frantically at me, clawing at my face in an attempt to force me to look at her.

"Does who know what?" I hurled at her, still struggling to release myself from Alicia and Carlisle's hold.

"Does William know where you went today? Does he know where you are now?" She was in a state of intense panic and I softened in my struggle as I tried to figure out why that should mean something to her.

"Yes" I growled "What does it matter? He is ALONE with Bella RIGHT NOW!"

"Because if he knows where you are he might realise that you have also found out his true identity" she cried, her eyes full of fear and desperation.

"I don't care!" I boomed back, resuming my struggle and no longer interested in anything more she had to say "You can try and protect him all you like, but it still won't stop me from tearing him apart limb by limb"

"I'm not trying to protect him!" She screamed back, scratching my arms with her bony fingers as we struggled on the ground "Listen to me Edward! I'm trying to protect her. I'm trying to help you save Bella's life!!!!"

The sincerity of her voice and the urgency of her statement stopped me dead in my tracks. All of a sudden I was eager to listen to what she had to say and it was in this quiet lull that I heard her sweet voice fill my mind..._All the king's horses and all the king's men._

"Humpty Dumpty?" I asked shaking my head, wondering if I'd heard that right "What the hell are you reciting Humpty Dumpty for?"

Alicia let her grasp on me go and sat back on the floor. She ran her hands over her face and then looked up at me "It's a joke between William and Victoria" she explained.

"Go on" I rasped.

"William has been given strict orders by Victoria that if he should ever suspect someone has uncovered his true identity that he is...to take care of Bella"

"Kill her?" Alice gasped from close beside me. I hadn't even noticed that she had come to sit on the floor beside us until she had spoken.

"Yes" Alicia replied.

"I'd like to see him try" Emmett growled from the background.

"He's to do it with no hesitation and as quickly as possible" Alicia said hurriedly to Emmett "He's fast, really fast, and more than that he's not stupid. If he knows Edward and all of you came here today then he will assume that you know about him. I believe that as soon as he smells you or hears you in the area again he will do it...he will kill her without a second thought. You won't be near enough to stop him"

I cursed under my breath and collapsed my head onto my knees, then raising it quickly again as I remembered her previous thought "So what's with Humpty Dumpty?" I asked confused, not seeing how a child's nursery rhyme fit into this disgusting plan.

Alicia sighed heavily and then looked directly into my eyes with a determined stare 'I'm sorry Edward, there's no easy or nice way to put this. He is under strict orders to kill her by...by disembowelling her"

I heard Alice and the others gasp in horror.

"All the king's horses and all the king's men..." I began, but Alicia finished for me

"Couldn't put Bella together again...they plan to kill her in a way that it is impossible for you to save her by any means"

Rage, nausea, terror and desperation rushed into my body in an overwhelming tidal wave of emotion. I couldn't contain myself any longer. I bolted out of Carlisle's now relaxed grip and ran to the nearest object I could find...an old double bed. Picking it up I heaved it at the window and it smashed through glass and surrounding wall with the force of a hurricane, sending glass, metal and wood dancing into the air.

I wanted to destroy more...everything...but I was stopped by Alice. She ran towards me and threw herself into my arms, clutching me tightly and sobbing.

"Oh Edward, what are we going to do? Oh my god!"

Feeling Alice's pain and fear in some sick way made me get a grip on myself. I couldn't lose control or focus now. This was going to be a tricky manoeuvre trying to rescue Bella, but I couldn't for one minute let myself feel the sinking feeling of hopelessness. I had to fortify myself from doubt and fear and believe that it was possible to save Bella from this nightmare.

"Well then" I turned, glaring at Alicia "What do _you_ suggest we do"

I hated her right now. Even though she had no intention of hurting Bella, and in fact was now helping us, she had still facilitated the plans of those who wished to kill Bella. I hated Alicia with every inch of my body.

"As long as he doesn't feel threatened Bella will be ok" Alicia reassured.

"I don't want to seem fatalistic" Jasper interrupted "and please Edward forgive me for what I'm about to say, but if he already knows where Edward and the rest of us were heading today, what's to say he hasn't killed her already?"

A tortured moan seethed from my body. Jasper had said out loud the thoughts I had not dared to allow to take form in my mind.

"No" Alicia replied with no hesitation "His orders are to keep her alive as long as possible. If he doesn't think he is in immediate danger she will be ok, I promise you!"

"Why?" Carlisle asked "Why only immediate danger?"

"They have planned for situations like this" Alicia replied "If this sort of thing ever came up, William was to stick to Bella's side like glue. That way they might still have a chance to fulfil their initial plans if possible, or if not possible he would be within striking distance of Bella. William has said that Victoria has planned too hard for this and it would be a shame if her plans had to be changed...hence they will keep Bella alive for as long as possible"

"So _we_ need a plan" Carlisle said, taking the lead "Perhaps we should head to Bella's house..."

"You need to be careful" Alicia interrupted "Don't forget he's not human...he'll be able to smell you, hear you....even if you call Bella he'll be able to hear the conversation through the phone. You're going to have to be really careful in order to keep her alive"

I noticed Carlisle fiddling with something in his hands out of the corner of my eye.

"Carlisle, what are you doing?" I asked.

"Paging the wolves" he replied.

"Pardon?" Emmett said, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"I gave Sam one of my pagers from work so if we needed to get in contact quickly we could. I paged him the code to find us, so they should find our scent and be here soon. I figured we needed backup to solve this puzzle"

"So what do we do now?" Emmett asked.

"We wait" Carlisle replied seriously.

The room was silent for a few moments until Alice broke it with her melodic voice.

"Alicia" she asked sheepishly "Logan...I mean William...seemed in every way...."

"Human?" Alicia finished her sentence "I know, that was me sorry. I coloured him, gave him a human smell, gave him normal thoughts...to everybody else in this world he was human"

"What about the Tutore?" Carlisle asked.

Alicia shook her head and seemed to laugh a little "The Tutore? They were a group of mad and stupid men who got a little too much power. There was nothing supernatural about them. William made all that stuff up to get you to leave Bella alone with him, to get you to think he could protect her."

"What about the incident in the school car park when I cracked Logan's ribs" I asked, suddenly full with a thousand questions "Did you create that?"

"No" Alicia answered"He did that himself. He flew back as if you'd struck him, but your hand never even made contact. He was trying to get Bella to mistrust and dislike you. I simply changed what his x-rays looked like and helped the attending doctor believe he was giving William stitches in order for his story to make sense and to avoid suspicion"

"So the scent in the hospital that I picked up earlier today...that was him?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, I must have let that slip. It would have been there from when you were all in the hospital after the car accident"

"Speaking of the car accident..." Jasper begun.

"It was part of the plan, along with the Tutore story, to get you to trust William alone with Bella. If you thought he could protect her then it was more likely that in moments such as these you would allow Bella to be left in his care alone"

"I'm so stupid!" I hissed under my breath.

"You weren't to know Edward" Alicia tried to comfort me "He's very good at making other people believe in him"

"And all the garbage about his dead mother?" I sneered.

"Lies to make Bella relate to him, to make her care for him"

"They had every base covered then" Alice whispered, talking more to herself than to anybody else.

"They surely did" Alicia replied "I can honestly say to you that I have not been told about their grand scheme, but I do know that nothing they have done has been of insignificance"

I was about to ask Alicia some more questions about her brother when I picked up the scent of wolves outside the house. I jumped up and grabbed Alicia with me.

"They're here. Let's go" I said roughly and dragged her out of the house, my family following close at our heels.

Once we were outside, I saw Alicia flinch in fear at the sight of the wolves. They, in return, bristled at the sight of a strange vampire. I did nothing to ease Alicia's terror...let her feel the same fear that we have been living under for the last week, it wouldn't do her any harm.

Sam was at the front of the pack and I could see three wolves behind him. I recognised them, but didn't know them by name since I had not bothered to waste any of my time getting to know a pack of dogs. All I knew was that Jacob was not present.

I immediately heard Sam's thoughts of outrage at the new company we were keeping and set about explaining the situation to him.

I gave him an abbreviated version of events and then asked where Jacob was. We were in luck; evidently he had stayed in the area of Bella's house to keep guard and continue to scout. For once I was grateful that the mutt was overwhelmingly in love and devoted to Bella, but I was also ashamed that I had left her side when he hadn't.

"Jacob's near to Bella's house" I told the others "What should we do?"

"Tell Jacob everything and get him to come up with a story in order to get Bella out of the house" Carlisle directed towards Sam "Tell him to be extremely cautious and careful...that Logan must not suspect a thing. We will try to get as close as possible and will meet him after Logan, I mean William, is a safe distance away"

Sam nodded and looked to the other wolves.

What happened next took place so fast that I had no time to stop it and I hated to admit that I wasn't too sure if I would have stopped it even if I had more warning.

I only heard Alicia's thoughts as she leaped into action. She lunged towards the wolves, teeth bared and a menacing growl vibrating from her throat. She managed to grab a smaller wolf just to the side of Sam and ripped at its leg with her teeth.

I had to turn my head at what happened next and although I couldn't see it, I could hear every sickening rip, crack and tear as the wolves made little time in destroying the threat to them.

I heard Carlisle yell "No, stop" but it was too late. There was nothing more left of the fragile, beautiful and abused Alicia.

"Why?" Alice cried "Why did she do that? I thought she was helping us! Was it her final attempt to save her brother?"

"No" I answered, her final thoughts ringing through her head "She couldn't live with herself knowing that she had betrayed her brother. She wanted to die instead of living with the guilt"

I could see that the small wolf's leg had already begun to heal and I realised she had purposefully attacked him where it would not be life threatening and would do the least amount of damage.

I looked to Carlisle and he just stood there shaking his head with a sad look on his face. Suddenly he turned to me with panic in his eyes.

"Edward!" he gasped.

"What?" I asked feeling fear rise within me in response to Carlisle's look, but not knowing what I was afraid of.

"With Alicia dead...."

And then I realised why Carlisle was so concerned.

"Bella will be able to see William for who he really is!" I yelled, my gut turning in horror at the thought "Quick!" I screeched at Sam "Tell Jacob there is no time to waste!!!"

**BELLA'S POV**

Logan and I had tried our best to pretend that it was just another normal evening in front of the television, but we weren't succeeding very well.

Both of us would peer out one of the windows every 10 minutes or so, desperately trying to catch a glimpse of Edward or one of the others.

It had been so long since he had left...at least it felt it anyway.

Logan and I had both attempted at certain points to start conversation to lighten our unease, but it never got past three or four sentences before we would grow quiet again and one of us would get up and search the outside darkness for a sign of life.

Neither of us mentioned the fact that Edward had been gone a long time. Probably because we were both scared of what it could mean and didn't want to dwell on what might have happened.

Where on earth could he be?! He said he would get the others and head straight back here, yet it had been almost an hour.

I was sitting on the couch, tensing and then relaxing every one of my fingers individually. Logan was currently pacing back and forth in front of the family room window, chewing his lip in deep concentration.

"Logan?" I croaked, my throat dry with disuse and fear.

"Hmm?" he replied, pausing momentarily in his pacing.

"Please stop that...you're making me even more nervous"

He smiled...a welcome sight. It lit up his whole face and immediately put me more at ease "Sorry Bella" he said warmly and plonked himself down on the couch beside me.

He looked at me and winked "Better?" he asked.

"Definitely" I smiled back and we both managed a little laugh at our obvious discomfort "Why don't I make us a hot chocolate?"

"Sounds perfect" He replied and reached over to mess up my hair "Get those itchy fingers busy doing something productive huh"

We both looked at my hands and I realised I was still tensing and relaxing each finger one by one "Ok" I admitted "So you're not the only one with an annoying nervous habit"

He simply chuckled some more and sunk further back into the couch.

As I was in the kitchen I noticed the most peculiar thing...it was impossible to describe but it felt like something was completely different. It reminded me of the time I went to a rock concert with some friends in Phoenix. When I had got home my ears were ringing constantly from the volume of the music at the concert. After being home a while I didn't notice the ringing, but when it finally stopped the world around me felt so strangely quiet and different...that was what I was feeling like right now.

I checked the refrigerator to make sure it was still on, thinking that maybe it had broken and it was the constant dull humming noise it usually made that was missing, but it was most definitely still working.

I checked all the lights to make sure it wasn't that one of them had blown, but they were all still going as well. I wasn't even sure if lights made a sound at all, in fact I wasn't sure if it indeed was the absence of sound that was giving me this feeling, but I didn't know what else it could be.

Shrugging it off as paranoia I continued to make our drinks, but in the back of my mind I was still searching for the reason why I felt so odd.

As I was bringing Logan's drink into him something else struck me...a strange smell. Again, I couldn't describe it, but it smelt earthy - like dirt and grass, but mixed with something metallic. It actually smelt quite unpleasant and I racked my brains as to what could be causing the smell.

I absentmindedly placed Logan's drink beside the couch on the coffee table and returned immediately back to the kitchen, determined to find whatever was causing the smell. I had assumed that it must have been some old food that was starting to perish in the cupboards, but couldn't find anything that smelt similar.

"Can you smell that?" I yelled to Logan, peering down the kitchen drain in search of the weird odour.

"Smell what?" Logan asked and I immediately froze.

His voice....it was so different. It sounded musical and deep and it reminded me of someone else...it reminded me of Edward!

My heart started pounding in my chest, but I didn't know why. It was as if my mind was registering something that I was not consciously aware of.

I peered around into the family room where Logan sat on the couch and he was looking over the back of the seat at me.

"Everything ok Bella? You look terrified"

Still that strange voice and something else....I couldn't see him properly because the light was off in the room. I could only see him through the distorted blue light given off by the television, but I could tell - something was definitely different about Logan.

I stared at him trying to see exactly what it was...his skin looked paler than normal, his features a little more pointy? He looked so stunningly beautiful in the dimmed reflection of light that I couldn't help but intake a little gasp.

What the hell was going on?

"Logan?" I asked tentatively and he suddenly bolted off the couch and headed to join me in the kitchen.

"Bella, you're scaring me! What's going on?" He asked, but by this stage I was no longer capable of answering.

I had stopped breathing altogether.

As Logan glided gracefully into the light of the kitchen, I was instantly aware of what had been causing my strange feelings.

Here was Logan, but it _wasn't _Logan. He moved with the agility of a cat, not the clumsiness he was famous for. He had the palest skin, almost translucent, instead of his usual healthy blush. His body, once normal looking, jutted out with the force of obvious brute strength and muscle. He had always been handsome, but now he was stunningly beautiful. And his eyes, once green, were most definitely a violent shade of crimson.

Fuck!

Logan was a vampire.

He moved towards me and it hardly seemed like he had taken a step, his movements were so fluid.

"Bella?" he asked with concern, peering into my eyes.

I felt violently sick. The earthy smell I had detected was pouring from him and filling my nostrils with its overwhelming stench. He was looking at me as if he was my friend, but his eyes were so darkly red that they did nothing but make me want to scream hysterically in fear.

What was going on? How could this be? We hadn't left each other's sight the whole night, so it's not like Victoria could have snuck in, changed him and then he had made the quickest transformation known in vampire history.

No...it appeared that Logan had always been like this, but that I hadn't noticed before.

My mind flicked to Edward and the others...they must have found what they were looking for and whatever they had done, this was the consequence.

My thoughts were forced back to Logan when he came within mere inches of my face, the coldness of his body able to be felt across the short distance between us.

In shock, I felt the mug I was holding that contained my hot chocolate slip from my fingers and, as if in slow motion, crash to the kitchen floor spilling its contents and smashing into a hundred tiny little pieces.

So had my heart, my control, my sanity. I had trusted and loved Logan and looking at him now I felt utterly and completely broken...what had I done? How could I have been so stupid?

"Bella, my god!" Logan exclaimed "You have to tell me what's going on, please! I'm freaking out here!"

I didn't understand what was happening and couldn't believe it...he was acting so natural, as if nothing had happened.

My mouth opened, but my brain was still not functioning. All I could manage was to simply shake my head in disbelief.

"Come here" Logan soothed, pulling me into an embrace "It's going to be ok Bella, I promise. Please don't worry about Edward!"

He held me against his cold body. I felt bile rising in my throat and wanted to push him away, but I was in so much shock that I just stood there motionless in his arms. Not hugging him back, not pushing him away, not moving.

He smelt revolting and felt so disgustingly cold. It was different to the Cullen's, for even though they were cold there was something about them that was warm and comforting. Logan was a stinging, wet kind of cold and was so unbearably hard that it hurt to be so close to him.

Suddenly, Logan stiffened and pulled back slightly. I looked up at his face and noticed that he was looking out the window furiously. He was indeed beautiful, but it was a cruel beauty. Although I felt drawn in by his features, at the same time my mind was screaming in fear to get away from him.

The knock at the door bolted me from my shock and crash-landed me firmly back into the kitchen where I stood.

"Bella!" Jacobs's voice boomed from behind the front door.

"I...I better see what he wants" I stammered to Logan, instantly relieved at this turn of events. I began to get the feeling that Logan was not aware that I could see him for what he was, and I was thankful that my mind had gone into shock and prevented me from blurting out something that might have put me in a world of danger.

I slowly made my way to the front door. All my instincts were yelling at me to run, but my body still hadn't completely shaken off the effects of the shock.

I opened the door and before I had the chance to say anything Jacob put his fingers to his lips to hush me. He then mouthed the words "play along" and casually strolled inside the house.

"Hey Bella, hey Logan" he said with no indication that he noticed anything out of the normal.

"Jake!" Logan boomed "Have you heard anything?"

"No" Jacob replied and then turned to really look at Logan. It would have seemed like a casual glance to most, but I knew Jacob better. I could see the faintest flicker of tension in his jaw and the slightest shifting of his shoulder muscles indicting discomfort or fear "We're all really worried because nobody can get hold of any of the Cullen's, apart from Rosalie and Esme in the hospital"

"What's happened to them?" I whispered, my brain foggy with a thousand thoughts and my heart aching in pain.

"We don't know" Jacob said seriously "But there is something else...Bella, Charlie has taken a turn for the worst. It appears there was internal bleeding that none of the doctors picked up. He's in a really bad way Bella and they don't think that he's going to make it"

I doubled over and gasped for air as if I had been punched in the stomach. How could this be happening? Charlie!

"I'm so sorry Bella" Jacob soothed, racing over to hold me in his warm arms. He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head "I'm so _so_ sorry. I'm here to take to you to the hospital. There's not much time to waste"

"Bella, I'm so sorry" Logan murmured from the kitchen, but glancing in his direction I saw no remorse on his face. In fact, it looked like he was smiling.

I opened my mouth to say something, but Jacob spoke over the top.

"Logan, do you think you could quickly grab some of Bella's things from her room and put them in a bag. She might need to be at the hospital for a while and I don't think she's up for packing at the moment"

"Sure" Logan smiled....a disgusting, revolting smile...and headed up stairs.

I immediately began to shake and turned to look at Jacob.

Opening my mouth to speak, I felt my entire body fly forward. The movement was so sudden that my head flew backwards, pain shooting through my neck, and my feet felt like they had been knocked out from underneath me.

I blinked furiously to understand what was going on...I was no longer in my house, but instead flying at a sickening speed through the forest. Trees were whizzing past my face and the cold breeze that assaulted me as we ran chilled me to the bone.

I realised I was in Jacob's arms. He must have grabbed me as soon as Logan had gone upstairs and fled from the house.

"Jacob?" I whispered.

"Charlie's ok Bells" He murmured into my ear "I made up that story in order to get you away from Logan"

I sank myself deep into Jacob's chest and cried with relief. Thank god for Jacob!

My relief didn't last long though as I began to fear that Logan would follow us. Although we were running much faster than any human could, I wasn't sure how our speed would compare with that of a vampire. I knew Jacob could run faster if he was able to use all four legs, so grabbing hold of Jacob as hard as I could I began to climb my way onto his back.

"What are you doing?" Jacob asked concerned.

"You should try and change Jake" I replied "You can run much faster as a wolf"

"I don't know" he returned, shaking his head "What if I hurt you?"

"I trust you" I whispered and kissed his cheek.

As I felt Jacob tremble and shudder beneath me, I closed my eyes and tried to dig myself even further into his body. Before I knew it my hands were clutching large piles of fur...he had managed to change with me on his back safely. Thank god for small miracles.

Soon we were flying even faster through the forest and I began to feel the intensely heavy feeling of terror soften somewhat.

But as the fear began to soften it was replaced by a thudding and nauseating flood of heartache. The further we travelled from my house and the threat of Logan, the larger the wound in my heart grew. Opening and bleeding into every inch of my being, the grief of what had happened began to consume me.

Logan....my Logan.

My Logan was a vampire. Not only that, my Logan was a vampire with blood red eyes. My Logan had lied and deceived his way into my trust and faith. I had believed him, defended and loved him against the better judgement of Edward.

He was someone that I had been grateful for in my life...someone I felt I could relate to and feel worthy around. He was someone who I thought I had been completely safe with, but instead he had made me place everybody I loved in extreme danger...potentially costing them their lives.

I should have been angry. I should have been seething with outrage at what Logan had done, but instead I was saddened and broken and desperate. All I wanted was for this not to be happenening and for Logan to still be who I used to think he was. I wanted my goofy, sweet, funny and loving Logan back. It was so unfair and so very tragic that he was in fact a monster.

I'm not sure for how much longer we were running, I was too lost in shock and grief to notice. Eventually we slowed down and I realised we had arrived at the Cullen's house.

To my instant relief Edward, Carlisle, Alice, Jasper and Emmett were all waiting for me in front of the house. I was extremely thankful that they were all ok, but also extremely embarrassed by what they must now also know.

I couldn't look any of them in the eyes. Not only because I was afraid of the pity and fear that I would see in them, but also because I was overwhelmingly ashamed at how I had time and time again chosen Logan over them. It had been Logan I had turned to, had argued for and had confided in. How could they ever forgive me for that?

I was still holding tightly onto Jacob, refusing to set foot on the ground. We waited in silence for a while and I buried my face into Jacob's warm coat, breathing in his comforting scent.

"Bella" Edward's voice huskily whispered "Jacob's waiting for you to hop down"

I pretended not to hear him and instead nuzzled further into Jacobs back.

"Bella please" I heard Alice's voice murmur "Please come down and into the house"

I began to quietly weep and shook my head. I heard Edward's soft footsteps on the ground as he approached us and I clung tightly and desperately to Jacob - my arms clenching around his neck and my legs digging strongly into his torso.

I heard Jacob whimper and I knew it wasn't because I was hurting him by holding him so tightly, but that he could feel my pain and heartache too.

"Bella" Edward's beautiful voice whispered in my ear "I'm going to pick you up and carry you inside now ok? Please don't struggle, I don't want to risk hurting you"

My body was now shuddering under the violence of my sobs.

As if I weighed nothing, Edward plucked me from Jacob and pulled me to him. Instead of walking inside however, he collapsed to the ground with me in his arms. I could hear him whisper "Oh god, thank you god" over and over again while he rocked me gently in his arms. One arm was gripping me fiercely to his body while the other one was frantically stroking my hair. In between his whisperings he would kiss me gently on the top of my head. This would have felt so wonderful if I was not flooded with feelings of guilt over not having trusted him before. I could tell myself until I was blue in my face that it was natural for me not to trust him after he had left me in the forest all those months ago, but it wouldn't make me feel any better. I knew in my heart that I should have never doubted Edward and it made me feel sick that I had repeatedly chosen Logan over him.

I heard other footsteps approach us, smaller and more graceful, and Alice crouched down to where we were entwined on the ground.

"Edward" she said, her voice faltering with emotion "Let's get Bella inside"

"Bella?" Edward sighed. He repositioned me in his embrace so that he could take my face into both his hands. He tilted my head so that he could look at me, but I just squeezed my tear-filled eyes shut tighter - trying desperately to block out the painful world "Please Bella look at me!" He said with urgency.

I wanted so much to look into his eyes and find solace, but I wasn't brave enough. I couldn't deal with this right now...I couldn't let reality into my heart any further. All I wanted was to be left as alone as I felt right now.

"No Edward" I whispered back, still closing my eyes to the world around me "I can't"

"Why?" he breathed across my face. Only a few hours ago this act would have sent my pulse racing and my senses throbbing, but instead it just felt cold and uncomfortable. I didn't want to be this close to the person that I had truly let down in the most horrific way. I didn't want to face what I had done and what had been done to me.

Instead of replying I pushed myself away from Edward and shakily rose to my feet. From the corner of my eye I could see Edward remain seated on the ground and from his posture I could tell he was confused.

I forbid myself to look at him, or anyone else for that matter. I simply started taking slow, deliberate and trembling steps towards the house.

As I walked past Alice she reached her arm out to me for support, but I ignored it and kept heading into the house. As I walked past the others they too attempted to console me, but like a zombie I kept my slow and purposeful path towards the house. Once inside I headed straight into the living room and climbed wearily onto the couch.

Here I lay down with my back facing the room and my head buried beneath my arms. Silently I willed everybody to ignore me, but knew that it wasn't likely.

Soon I heard the others trickle into the room. They were whispering amongst themselves, but I didn't even try to hear what they were saying. I didn't want or deserve their sympathy or concern right now...I just wanted everything to go back to the way I thought it was a few days ago.

"I can imagine you have a lot of questions Bella" Carlisle's gentle voice broke through the nervous hushed whispers.

"Actually" I muttered through my covered face "No I don't Carlisle. Right now I don't want to know anything. I just want to be left alone"

"But Bella..." I heard Jacob's voice interrupt.

"I mean it" I shouted, still hiding myself away from view "Go away, all of you!"

I felt ashamed at my outburst when I noted the stunned silence, but then felt the couch move slightly with the weight of someone. A cold body moulded itself like a perfect match along mine.

"You can be alone if you want" Edward purred in my ear, pulling my body to his and wrapping his arms around me "But you'll have to settle for being alone with me, because I'm not leaving your side. I will hold you for as long as it takes"

I clenched my fists into tiny balls and pushed them hard against my eyes, tears streaming out and creeping their way into my palms.

"I wish you wouldn't" I whispered.

"You don't have a choice anymore Bella" He hummed, rising slightly to kiss me on the cheek "You may want to be alone, but I won't let that happen. I will never ever let that happen again"

My heart heaved and I relaxed into him a little more with each sob that tore through my body.

Slowly...so slowly...I sunk into an exhausted sleep.

I dreamt of green eyes that bled into red, of warm blushes that drained into grey, of gentle smiles that contorted into sneers.

I dreamt of friends who ripped my heart out with their jagged teeth and laughed while I sank into death.

Throughout the dreams I was struck with immense sadness to know that upon my wake, none of this nightmare would go away, none of it would fade in consciousness.

As I died a thousand deaths over and over again in my sleep, I kept praying that this time would be the last time...that this time I would be taken away from all this heartache and fear, guilt and disappointment.

And as the dreams wove on and over each other, I never once stopped crying. I never once escaped the pain of my reality and the shame of where I was.

The last dream I remembered before slipping into complete unconsciousness featured Victoria hovering over me as I lay helpless on the ground. Laughing, she plunged her cold steel hands into my chest to retrieve my heart. Her face contorted in confusion when she found an empty cavity where my heart should have been.

At this I began to laugh through my final breaths.

"You're too late" I whispered smiling "They already destroyed it"

As I died I heard her laugh back "And you don't think that was my plan from the start?"


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:** Yoo hoo, remember me? I am so sorry that it has taken forever to update...a lot has been happening in my world and I have had neither the time or headspace to work on this story. I hope you haven't given up on me and that this chapter doesn't disappoint too much! If you're reading this, thanks for sticking with me xxx

**End of Last Chapter: **_The last dream I remembered before slipping into complete unconsciousness featured Victoria hovering over me as I lay helpless on the ground. Laughing, she plunged her cold steel hands into my chest to retrieve my heart. Her face contorted in confusion when she found an empty cavity where my heart should have been. _

_At this I began to laugh through my final breaths._

"_You're too late" I whispered smiling "They already destroyed it"_

_As I died I heard her laugh back "And you don't think that was my plan from the start?"_

Chapter Sixteen

Before I even opened my eyes I was aware of the immense heat that was enveloping my body. The back of my neck was matted with wet hair and I felt uncomfortably sticky with sweat.

Shifting my weight slightly, I felt strong arms strengthen their hold around my waist and the heat that surrounded me intensified with the movement. Then I heard a faint low and sleepy groan that reverberated against the back of my head.

My eyes flicked open to stare at the back of the couch that I was sandwiched against. Straining, I attempted to turn around to see who was holding on to me so tightly, but their grip was so strong I could only shift enough to see the arms that were wrapped around me– large, tanned arms...Jacob!

Pushing as close to a sitting position that the still-asleep Jacob's embrace would allow, I looked out into the room to see Edward sitting on the couch opposite us.

He was chewing his lips and furrowing his brow in great concentration or annoyance – I couldn't tell which.

"Jake?" I muttered groggily and Edward immediately sat forward in his seat.

"Bella, you're awake" He said, startling Jacob who immediately sat bolt upright with reflexes like a cat.

"Bella" Jake drawled sleepily, releasing his grip on me and running his hands through his hair "Good morning beautiful!" he said flashing me a cheeky smile.

I looked from Jacob's jovial expression to Edward's stern and serious face and immediately felt great annoyance well within my body.

When I had drifted off to sleep it had been Edward that was holding my sobbing soul, but somehow during the night they had deemed it appropriate to play swapsies. I felt humiliated and somewhat violated by this changing of the guard.

"Get off the couch Jake" I spat at him.

"Pardon?" he replied lazily, stretching and yawning.

"You heard" I retorted "get off!"

Jacob looked at me as if I was joking and then saw the expression on my face. He looked startled for a moment and then promptly rolled off the couch to take a seat on the floor.

"What's wrong Bella?" he asked.

I shot a look at Edward, who was still maintaining the stern and concentrated look on his face.

"What is wrong is that no one seems to respect my personal space or privacy. What on earth made you both think it was an appropriate thing to do to swap places during the night?" I said, my voice rising with each word.

"You were having nightmares Bells" Jacob answered softly, a mixture of apology and hurt "You wouldn't stop crying and we couldn't wake you. Then you started screaming and shivering non-stop. You were shivering so badly that the whole couch was shaking, and it just kept getting worse and worse. We just thought that perhaps having some warmth would help calm you down...which it did I would like to add" Jake said shooting a look at Edward that told me this turn of events was completely Jacob's idea and that Edward had not given up his post willingly or easily "But I'm sorry if it upset you"

"I told you she wouldn't like it" Edward said quietly but with a high degree of irritation in his voice.

"No she didn't" I snapped back, but felt my annoyance soften when I looked into Jacob's disappointed face "But thank you anyway"

Jacob beamed at that and gave Edward a smug look.

"Ahhh, she has awoken" Carlisle said as he strolled into the room "How are you feeling this morning Bella?"

"Fine" I mumbled, immediately thrust back into the memory of why I was here and what had happened last night.

"Breakfast?" Esme called out cheerily from the kitchen and I could smell another feast being prepared.

I looked at Edward with a helpless expression. I didn't have the heart to tell Esme I wasn't hungry, but also couldn't face the nausea that I knew would come from eating anything right now.

"Maybe later" Edward replied for me, knowing as only he could exactly what I was feeling right now "I don't think Bella is up for eating at the present moment"

"I'll leave it the warmer draw then for when you are ready" Esme sang in response, but I could hear the guarded worry and concern in her voice.

I immediately felt ashamed.

I didn't deserve her kindness. I didn't deserve anyone here's kindness or sympathy. For the past week these wonderful creatures around me had done everything in their power to keep me safe and protected. Even Rosalie had put her own and her family's safety on the line for me and how had I repaid them? By being ungrateful and begrudged almost every step of the way and by turning my attention and confidence to a lying, deceitful, and blood thirsty vampire.

Painful emotions began to bubble and tumble within my body, thoughts crashing hard against my mind. What I was feeling right in this moment wasn't self pity. These emotions welling in my breast were not fuelled by the grief of my own losses or tragedy. What I was feeling was disgust and shame at how I had treated the people I should have been the most kind to...and look at where it had got me.

I couldn't help even the most mundane aspects of the past week from entering my mind and turning my stomach with embarrassment. I thought of yesterday when Alice had tried to cheer up my morning and I had reacted with immature sullenness. Last night when everyone had laid their life on the line to save mine I had reacted with ungratefulness and withdrawal. As far back as my memory stretched it was filled with bad reactions to pure and loving gestures on the part of people who were acting with no regard for their personal safety and every regard for mine.

This wasn't how I wanted to think of myself and it definitely wasn't how I wish I had behaved. I was truly ashamed and regretful.

"I'm sorry" I whispered to no one and to everybody at the same time, lowering my gaze to pick at a loose thread on my shirt.

"What on earth are you sorry for?" Jacob exclaimed "None of this is your fault!"

He jumped up to comfort me but I held my hand up for him to stop.

"I know that" I answered solemnly "At least, I know that I didn't wish any of this to happen. I still can't help but feel like there is a lot of responsibility I have to take for this whole situation, but for now what I am really sorry about is how I've been behaving... I've been so ungrateful, so immature and so stupid and I'm really _really_ sorry for not taking the time to stand back and truly see everything that you all have been doing for me"

I paused and looked up to see everyone – the whole Cullen family - had gathered in the living room and were looking at me with overwhelming compassion. Some of it was obvious, such as Alice and Esme, and some of it was highly guarded, such as Rosalie, but I began to trust that all of it was from a very caring and supportive place.

"So thank you" I continued, slightly out of breath from the effort it took not to cry again "Thank you for not turning your back on me and please believe me when I tell you I'm truly sorry"

Unable to hold my self-despair in any longer, I collapsed my head into my hand and began to weep.

"Oh dear child" Esme gasped and crossed the short space between us in what seemed like less than an eye blink, clutching me to her "But that's what family is for! No one expects you to be perfect and no one cares if you're not. That's the true beauty of love Bella" she continued, leaning back so she could confirm the sincerity in her words by looking hard into my eyes "there is nothing that you could do that would make you seem any less than the stunningly beautiful person we always see in you. We know you in _here_" she said pointing to my heart "and that's all we pay attention to"

"Thank you" I whispered and managed a smile that lit up Esme's face.

"Besides" Edward spoke and looking at him I saw on his face a mirror of the regret and pain I was feeling "We have as much, if not more to apologise for. We left you here alone Bella. We abandoned you"

"Not all of us" Jacob muttered under his breath.

"It is true what they say!" Emmett exclaimed, springing to life and slapping Jacob on the back "Dog truly is man's best friend!"

Jacob scowled while the rest of us tried unsuccessfully to mask the smiles that were creeping onto our faces.

"Very funny chuckles" Jacob grumbled "laugh it up all of you"

"Sorry Jake" I said as a small peal of laughter escaped my lips.

"Don't be" he replied with a sheepish grin "it's good to see you smile again, even if it was at my expense"

"Hey!" Emmett teased "It was a compliment!"

"I'm so flattered...really, thank you" Jacob replied with dripping sarcasm.

As the battle of the wits continued between Emmett and Jacob, Carlisle took a seat next to Esme on the couch.

"Bella, do you want to hear what we found out about Logan?" he asked gently.

I drew in a deep breath and prepared myself "I suppose I need to know the whole story" I replied "so... yes."

As Carlisle told me Alicia's story, mixed emotions fumbled through my thoughts. I felt truly sorry for what Alicia had to go through and how it had ended for her. I knew in my heart that if it had been me in the same situation I probably would have done the same thing. If it had been Edward or Jacob I would have done everything in my power to protect them while holding out hope that they would do the right thing in the end.

As for Logan...William...my feelings ranged from disgust and anger to sympathy and compassion, even stretching to hope that it was still not too late for him to return to the man he once was. But through it all I knew in my heart that I could not relate to his story like I could to Alicia's. There was no way I would have let anyone convince me to take another person's life, to break someone's heart the way he had with mine. He had been given so many opportunities to change, to stop Victoria's plans, but he had not faltered one tiny bit in his role that he had acted out so masterfully. I remembered Edward saying that once vampires change it is for eternity. I couldn't help but think that the blackness Victoria had placed in his heart would stain his soul for the rest of time.

The more Carlisle told me, the more I was struck at the huge injustice of everything that William and Victoria had done. The impact of their vengeance stretched far beyond just me and Edward. Jacob, his pack, the whole Cullen family had put their lives in danger because of this. Charlie had ended up in hospital because of this...

"Charlie!" I yelled, looking frantically across at Esme then over at Rosalie who was standing at the far end of the room "Is he ok? He must be wondering where I am! Who's looking after him?"

"Don't worry hun" Esme soothed, stroking my hair "We didn't leave him alone. Sam and Paul are with him now. Normally we wouldn't have left his side, but we were so worried about you that we wanted to be here with you when you woke up. Sam and Paul were all too willing to help. They are very protective of your father as well"

"I have to see him!" I said "Will he be awake yet?"

"Probably" Carlisle answered, furrowing his brow "But I don't think it's a good idea Bella. Given our situation I think it's far too dangerous for you to go there..."

"Please" I begged, but Carlisle looked like he had his mind set on keeping me here.

"Please!" I pleaded again, this time looking to Edward for help. I needed to see Charlie desperately. He didn't know that there was a war developing, all he would know was that he had been in a car accident and his daughter was nowhere to be seen. I didn't want to continue to let my loved ones down any longer. I wanted to be a better person; I longed to feel proud of myself again.

Edward sighed while looking at me, digesting what I was asking. I knew that he would try to keep me safe at all costs which meant that he too would deny my request, but I had to try to convince him to help me see Charlie. It wasn't only about wanting to be there for Charlie, it was also about how much I needed him right now. I had to admit to myself that this little girl needed her father right now after all the terror and heartbreak she had endured, not only in the last day but in the last year. It was time to confess to myself that this world I had immersed myself in was difficult and scary and too much sometimes for someone who was ill equipped and unprepared for everything that it entailed.

I needed my dad.

As Edward stared into my eyes chewing his lip, he slowly began to nod. My own eyes widened in shock that Edward was actually agreeing to do something that he considered a threat to my safety!

"Edward" Carlisle warned in a fatherly tone "I don't recommend this"

"I know Carlisle" Edward answered, never taking his eyes from mine "But I believe Bella needs to her father"

"I'll take her" Jacob piped up.

"No you won't" Edward reproached him "I will. A guard dog couldn't keep Bella safe from a couple of century old vampires, let alone a puppy"

"Hey!" Jacob yelled, turning an icy glare towards Edward.

"It's ok Jacob" Carlisle interrupted, placing a hand on Jacob's shoulder "You've saved Bella's life enough for 24 hours" he gently joked "I'll go with Edward and Bella as well. It will give me an opportunity to have a good talk with Sam"

"Really?" I asked, a little shocked at how easy it had been to actually get what I want.

Carlisle nodded "I still think it's dangerous, but what in your world isn't?" he said smiling.

I looked at Edward and he had a conspirator's grin on his face, then he raised one eyebrow in a teasing manner and said "Well? Don't dilly dally Ms Swan, let's go"

I returned Edwards smile with one of my own and nodded my head "Jake" I said as I got up and stretched out my aching bones "Do you want to come too?"

"Naw" he replied and I could tell he was a little hurt at being shut out "I need to go out and stretch my legs. Think I might do some scouting for our little 'friends' while I'm at it"

I crouched down to where he still sat on the floor and bowed my head so that I could look into his downturned face.

"Thank you for saving my life" I whispered, kissing him on the cheek gently "I owe you"

Jacob raised his head and cocked it slightly to one side "A little to the left with that kiss and you can make good on that deal" he joked. The smile left his face however when Edward 'accidently' kicked him with his foot as he walked past him.

"Sorry" Edward said with a look of complete innocence on his face "Didn't see you there"

"Mature, Cullen" Jacob grumbled.

"Oh and blackmailing a girl who's off to visit her sick father in hospital after being almost disembowelled by her new best friend into kissing you is the height of mature behaviour, Mutt?" Emmett called out.

"Honestly, leech, I think you of all people are the last person that should be casting stones on anybody's maturity level" Jacob yelled in return.

I smiled even harder as I walked away to the sound of Jacob and Emmett having yet another argument that I knew would go on and on, yet get absolutely nowhere.

As we got near to the front door, Edward spun quickly around and grabbed on to my shoulders.

"Wait here" he ordered.

"What? Why?" I asked confused.

"Charlie's bag...it's still at your house. I'll run back and get it for you. I will be a few minutes at the most, promise"

Then what Edward did next took everyone in the house, including me, by complete surprise.

With no hesitation, and with absolutely no fear, Edward brazenly took my face in the palms of his hands, leaned down and gently brushed his lips against mine.

I couldn't tell how long he kissed me for, in fact I was having difficulty remembering my own name, all I knew was that I was in heaven. His familiar lips moulded perfectly onto mine and it was hard to believe that we hadn't kissed like this in such a long time. Thrill and excitement rushed through my blood and invaded every inch of my sensations. My lips naturally parted slightly to let him further into my rapture, but as quickly as he had made his move he was pulling away.

He stared into my eyes with a bewildered expression and shook his head slightly.

"I must have been completely insane to have left you" he whispered and, with the confused look still printed across his face, turned to leave.

As he headed out the door he called over his shoulder "Sorry about that Fido"

My mouth dropped open at Edward's taunt for Jacob and to my relief behind me I heard Emmett and Jacob at it _once again_. Emmett was saying something about 'that's how the real men do it' and Jacob was going on about how real men have hearts that still actually beat. I was thankful at the distraction Emmett was providing Jacob because I knew how been embarrassing and hurtful that must have been for Jacob to watch.

Touching a finger to my still tingling lips, my thoughts turned to how only a few hours ago I had stared at the closed door that Edward had just walked out of, only this time I knew he was coming back and I could still feel his kiss on my lips...this time I was smiling.

"Emmett did a good job at distracting the puppy, he must actually have a soft spot for him. Granted he's always been an animal lover" A soft voice spoke close to my ear.

I jumped a little in surprise. I hadn't noticed anyone standing next to me and I was truly shocked to realise the person who had just initiated conversation with me was Rosalie. She was leaning against the wall with her arms folded and a slight smile across her lips.

I looked back over to where Jacob and Emmett were in the living room, now treating everyone to an arm-wrestling match, and then back at Rosalie with a crooked smile. I couldn't help but feel nervous. Rosalie was intimidating through her beauty and presence alone, add her normally unfriendly demeanour and she was actually quite terrifying.

"You look scared out of your tree Bella" Rosalie laughed "I'm not going to bite" she teased.

"Oh" I replied, embarrassed by my reaction "I'm sorry...it's just..."

"I know" she interrupted "You and me aren't exactly close by any definition of the term"

"And yet you have put yourself out constantly over the past year for me" I replied seriously "I'm sorry Rosalie, you haven't deserved any of this"

"No I haven't" She said matter-of-factly and I felt myself deflate a little at her intimidating tone "But neither have you" she followed gently.

I looked up at her with confusion and disbelief...had she just said what I thought she had?

"Esme wasn't the only one who wanted to make sure you felt ok this morning" she continued looking off past me into the living room and then returning her eyes towards me with an urgent expression "You're not the only one who knows what it's like to have someone you care for and trust turn out to be a monster"

She paused for a little and absentmindedly rubbed the back of her neck with her hand, then took that hand and placed it on my shoulder, squeezing slightly "But that's a story for another time" she said with a smile "I just wanted you to know that I'm not one of them"

"One of them?" I asked shaking my head.

"A monster" she replied with a bitter-sweet smile "Although I'm pretty sure 99.9% of the human population would think otherwise" she said off-handedly, walking away to join the others in the living room.

"99.9% of the human population would think that anything as beautiful as you could never be defined as a monster" I whispered knowing she would be able to hear me and I saw her the ends of her mouth turn up ever so slightly into a smile as she took her place next to Emmett at the table.

"Edward's in the car waiting" Carlisle said as he whizzed past me from where he had been upstairs and holding the front door open for me.

"That was quick" I said a little stunned.

"Really Bella" Carlisle teased as we headed to the car "You'd think by now you would be used to it"

I didn't mind one bit about Edward's speed as we made our way to the hospital. Normally I would have been clutching the interior upholstery in terror at how fast the landscape was speeding past the windows, but today I actually felt like he was going too slowly. I was so anxious to see Charlie that I couldn't get there fast enough.

I had made sure that I took the back seat so that Carlisle was sitting up front with Edward. With so much on my mind, I didn't need the distraction of having Edward so close after he had just kissed me. I knew we would have plenty of time to talk later about what it had meant and for the moment I just needed to keep myself together long enough to put on a brave face for Charlie.

On the way, Carlisle made a call to the hospital and found out that Charlie had been awake for just under an hour. He apparently was doing really well considering how much pain he was probably in and to all of our relief he had said he couldn't remember much about the accident.

Arriving at the hospital I felt like a celebrity of some sort with my own beautiful bodyguards. Edward took me by my arm and literally dragged me through the corridors at lightening pace while Carlisle acted as a sort of protective shielding, deflecting curiosity and questions to keep us travelling uninterrupted and at a constant speed.

When we stopped outside of what I assumed was Charlie's room, I felt like the journey here had gone way too fast. Instead of feeling prepared and together I felt confused and disorientated.

"You'll be fine Bella" Edward whispered in my ear, taking a moment to briefly brush the side of my face with his lips "We're just outside if you need us"

Pushing the doors open I quickly scanned the room.

Paul was sitting in the corner by the door texting with a scowl on his face. Sam and Billy Black were flanking either side of Charlie and whatever they were saying was making Charlie laugh as heartily as he could given his condition.

And Charlie....well, I don't think I had ever seen Charlie look better. Despite his bruising, swelling and cuts, he was alive and best of all he was laughing.

"Hey Kiddo" He croaked "Come to join the party?"

I wanted to rush towards him and throw myself on the bed, hugging and squeezing him so tight that he nearly exploded. I wanted to weep unabashedly and tell him how much I loved and cherished him and how I would always need him in my life no matter what.

Instead, I said "Hey Dad, I brought you an overnight bag with some of your things" waving the bag in front of me and giggling internally at how my outward behaviour was in stark contrast to my inner yearnings.

"That's my Bella!" Charlie said warmly, glancing towards Billy "Honestly, what state would I be in now if it wasn't for her!"

Billy just shot both Charlie and I a smile that I knew had hidden depth to it and replied "The mind boggles Charlie, it really does" Then he patted Charlie on the leg and said "Best we clear the room to give these two some space huh"

Sam stopped in front of me as he headed out the door and placed a huge hand on my shoulder "We will never be far away ok? Charlie doesn't deserve any of this and we will make sure he doesn't get anything more he has to deal with...whatever it takes"

I looked in his eyes and saw the most peculiar mixture of warmth and aggression - as if he cared for me, but also hated me at the same moment.

I didn't blame him and if I were him I would probably be feeling the same way right now.

"Thanks" I muttered and he nodded his head solemnly in reply while heading out the door.

"So" Charlie said light-heartedly as I made my way to the seat where Sam had just been sitting "What's new?"

"What's new is that my dad is in hospital after a horrible car accident" I replied quietly, not quite knowing what to say.

"How's Logan?" Charlie asked "And more importantly how's that car?" he followed, attempting a laugh but spluttering in the process, obviously overdoing himself.

"What did the guys tell you?" I asked, unsure of what the cover story was and panicking slightly that I would say the wrong thing.

"Only that his car was a wreck and he had left to go be with his sister" He paused and then narrowed his eyes to regard me with curious concern "They also told me you were staying with the Cullens...again" He was trying to sound natural, but I detected a hint of suspicion behind his words.

"Yeah, that's about it" I replied, picking once again at that loose thread on my shirt. My mind briefly flicked to the kiss I shared with Edward at the mention of the Cullens and I blushed wildly. If Charlie knew that he had kissed me I wouldn't be allowed within 10 miles of the Cullen household. "How's the pain?" I asked, desperate to change the subject.

"Nothing I can't handle" Charlie said, but I knew by the tone of his voice that he was in a lot of pain "What bothers me more is you staying with the Cullens"

At that my head shot up and I cocked my head to one side "Why?" I asked "You've been fine with it until now"

"Up until now I haven't seen _that_ look on your face" Charlie said, pointing his finger gingerly at me.

"What look?"

"You know what look Bella" Charlie teased "Don't embarrass an old man would you!"

I blushed deeply again, which made Charlie frown.

"I knew it" he muttered and I wasn't sure if he was speaking to me or himself "Sam and Billy have tried tor reassure me that he's a decent guy, but to be frank I'd rather eat thumbtacks than have you hanging around him after everything that has happened"

"Well, it's good that you're not Frank then" I joked, but Charlie just deepened his glare.

Sighing, I continued "I honestly don't know what's happening Dad" I said, stretching my hand out to take his in mine "All I know is that I feel extremely lucky right now to have you sitting here frowning over the prospect of me spending time with a boy"

Charlie shot up his eyebrows in wonderment "Is that so?" he asked admonished.

"Yes Dad, that is so" I murmured softly, leaning in to kiss his forehead "Be as 'dad-like' as you desire, I'm just thankful I still have you to look out for me"

Charlie chuckled slightly and said "Well, in that case..."

But his sentence was cut off by the sound of my phone receiving a text message.

"Hey, I thought you weren't allowed those things in here!" Charlie said.

"Sorry, I forgot" I mumbled as I retrieved the phone from my pocket.

Opening up my inbox, my heart, stomach, body and soul heaved as I read the name of the person who sent me the text...

LOGAN

"You ok kid?" Charlie asked, attempting to sit up but prevented from doing so by all the tubes and cords attached to him.

"Fine Dad, I'm fine" I stuttered, hoping I was a better liar than Edward thought I was "It's from Mike. I'm just surprised to see him text me that's all"

"Mike Newton?" Charlie asked raising an eyebrow and confirming that Edward was indeed correct...I was a lousy liar.

"Yeah" I replied, my voice a little higher than I would have liked "I better see what he wants"

"Mmmm Hmmm" Charlie muttered. I knew he was unconvinced by my performance, but thankfully he wasn't the type of man who would pry any further.

I took in a deep breath and, with shaking hands, opened the message.

Nothing, and I mean _nothing,_ could have prepared me for what I was about to read:

WE HAVE JACOB. MEET ME AT THE AMBULANCE BAY IN 10 MINUTES OR WE WILL KILL HIM. ITS YOUR CHOICE.

"What is it Bella?" Charlie asked concerned.

I looked up at him with fear in my eyes, totally aware of how badly my entire body was trembling.

I had to pull myself together _fast!_

"Ummm" I stalled "It's Angela" I replied, attempting to change my expression from fear to friendly concern "Ben just broke up with her and she's really upset"

"Oh, that sucks" Charlie replied leaning back in his hospital bed, thankfully buying my lie this time.

"Yeah, it does" I replied honestly "It really does suck"

We sat in silence for a few seconds while I attempted to deal with what was happening. My heart was racing and I felt like screaming. It began to get hard to breath and it felt like the walls were leaning in towards me.

As much as I wished that this wasn't happening, it was and I had no time to hesitate. Perhaps that was best, perhaps if I had more time it would make what I was about to do harder...maybe even impossible.

"Dad, do you think I would be able to..."

"Of course" Charlie smiled, placing his hand on mine "Go call her. It's not like I'm going anywhere!"

"Thanks" I said, rising to stand and then lurching forward to grab onto my father as tightly as I had intended when I first saw him.

"You welcome" Charlie gasped, obviously in pain from my embrace.

"I'll be back soon" I said, trying with all my might to hold onto the tears that I felt prickling in the corner of my eyes "ok?"

"Take your time Bells" Charlie replied, patting me on the shoulder.

As I reached the door, I spun around and looked at my darling father lying there on the bed. I etched every single little detail onto the retinas of my eyes in case this was the last time I ever had the privilege of seeing him again.

"You know I love you Dad, don't you?" I asked.

He looked at me confused, but slightly amused "Of course kiddo"

I turned and placed my hand on the door.

"Bells?" He called out.

"Yes" I whispered, too afraid to turn around in case I lose my nerve.

"I love you too kid"

"See you Dad" I trembled and pushed my way out into the corridor.

I paused for the briefest of moments and rested against the closed door. If I let my fear and despair get the better of me I would lose my momentum...and Jacob could not afford for me to do that. Blanking my mind to the reality of what I was about to do, I pushed myself away from the door and went to find the others.

They were down the hallway slightly, talking in frantic whispers that appeared to be quite heated and serious.

"Bella" Edward said urgently, noticing my approach "We need to leave right away"

Looking at the worry on his face, I knew whatever they whatever they had been discussing was big.

"Why?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

"Alice had a vision" Carlisle responded "15 or more newborn vampires are heading this way. She couldn't tell how many exactly, but it's a lot and she thinks they will be here after dusk sometime. We need to take you to a safe location"

My head was spinning from everything and it felt like my mind was floating, no longer attached to my body, watching what was taking place in this hospital corridor. I couldn't quite fathom the gravity of what Carlisle had just told me and to be honest I was grateful for that.

"What about Charlie" I whispered. I knew that in all likelihood I wouldn't return to make sure he was ok.

"Billy will take him back to La Push tonight, Carlisle has given the ok to the hospital" Sam replied "He will be completely protected, I assure you"

"And Jacob?" I asked. I had to find out if he was ok or not. I had learnt from my last dance with deadly vampires to make sure where you are heading is indeed where you think you are going.

"What do you mean?" Edward said, narrowing his eyes like Charlie had done only a few seconds ago. He was suspicious of why I had asked about Jacob I could tell, but there was more to it. He also looked like he was trying to hide something and my heart sank.

"Where is Jacob?" I repeated.

The looks that past between everyone present was enough answer for me. Their eyes darted back and forth between each other and their brows furrowed in concern.

"We don't know where he is Bella" Sam finally answered, looking as every bit as scared as I felt "We tried to make contact with him but it appears that whatever he is doing..."

Sam trailed off not sure of what to say, but Paul continued in his place "He's probably just asleep somewhere Sam. You know Jacob, he doesn't take much too seriously"

But I could hear the worry in Paul's voice too and I noticed the connected concern he and Sam were sharing with a glance.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on pushing into the recesses of my mind the thoughts that would manifest as panic and terror in my outward appearance.

"Bella" Edward said "Honestly, now is no time to ask questions or worry about Jacob. We really need to go"

"No!" I exclaimed snapping my eyes open. Everyone looked shocked at my outburst and I immediately made an effort to cover my heightened emotions "I haven't had enough time with Charlie!" I continued in way of explanation "I haven't even had time yet to ask him what he remembers about the crash"

"He said he doesn't remember much" Carlisle stated.

"He _said_ he doesn't remember, but perhaps he does" I replied "He might remember everything but doesn't want to tell anyone in case they think he's crazy. If he knows something he might be in danger and we need to find out!"

"Ok, ok" Edward answered, knowing what I was implying "I'll go in and see if I can get any information from his thoughts, but I'm not promising anything Bella. Your father is almost as difficult to read as you are" He sounded annoyed, but thankfully he was going to humour me.

"Anything!" I admonished, desperation rising in me as I felt acutely aware of time ticking by...time I couldn't afford to lose track of.

"I'll go in on the pretence of giving him a check up" Carlisle said "That way I can ask about the accident without raising suspicion"

"Thanks" I answered, relieved and sickened that my plan was working out "I'll stay out here...I'm too scared and don't want to make Charlie worry"

"Ok" Edward replied, but his face contorted in confusion. He could tell that something was up but, like Charlie, he was not going to push the matter further.  
As Edward and Carlisle walked into Charlie's room I so desperately wanted to grab Edward and hold him, kiss him again, tell him I loved him more than anything in this world, but I knew that if I did that he would begin to suspect that something more sinister was going on.

So instead I just watched him and Carlisle enter Charlie's room and felt my heart break into a million pieces.

_Goodbye my love_ I thought and then braced myself for phase two of my plan.

When I heard muffled conversation in Charlie's room I knew I had only minutes to act.

Turning to Sam I said "I just need to use the bathroom. I won't be more than a couple of minutes"

Sam looked hesitant, obviously worried to let me out of his sight.

"It's just down there" I continued, gesturing down the corridor "I'll be quick I swear"

"Ok" Sam nodded.

Looking at Sam I almost changed my mind. I knew the trouble they would get in once everyone realised what had happened, but what choice did I have? I couldn't stay here and let Jacob die. I only prayed that Edward and the others would be able to understand why I did what I had to in order to save my best friend and put an end to all this madness.

"Umm" I said, wondering how much I could say without raising suspicion "Thanks again...for everything"

"Anytime Bella" Sam smiled "You and your father are like family to us"

I nodded and returned his smile, reaching in for a brief hug before heading slowly down the corridor.

Once past the swinging doors I began to pick up pace, my eyes darting around for signs of where the ambulance bay might be. I was out of luck, no signs around the halls gave any indication of where I was supposed to be heading.

I grabbed a passing nurse.

"Excuse me" I said in a sweet voice "I'm doing a favour for Dr Cullen and need to find the ambulance bay. Could you point me in the right direction?"

"Sure hun" the nurse replied "Keep on following this corridor to the end and then turn left. If you head straight down that hall you should be right there"

"Thanks" I replied and then began to run.

I ran as fast as my legs would take me, paranoia creeping in and I began imagining I heard someone on my heels. Someone who would try to save me but only end up killing Jacob.

There was no one, however, behind me. I was completely alone and as I burst out through the exit sign into the ambulance bay I was aware of how very much alone I was.

Outside, it was quite dark already and bitingly cold.

I took in a few gasps of fresh air, but that was all I could manage. Before I could gather my thoughts, or my breath, I was once again hurtling through the scenery, my head whipping back from the force of my flight.

Once I had gotten over the shock and gained control of my neck muscles, I brought my head up and my eyes open to see what was going on.

"Logan!" I gasped.

"The name's William Bella" He smiled down at me.

I was in his arms and we were racing at lightning speed to god knows where.

I began to weep instantly at the sight of his face. Although his appearance was so different: paler, different eyes and exceptionally more beautiful, he still looked like the Logan I knew.

To my confusion I actually felt happy to see him and I was drawn to him like I had been before. I found myself almost nestling into his embrace and was disgusted with myself at the level of comfort I felt momentarily.

"William...where are we going?"

"To save your friend Bella" he replied sweetly, his eyes now straight ahead on where we were travelling.

"Are you here to help me?" I asked with hope in my voice. Everything about him was so reassuring and so inviting that I thought his words could mean that he was here to help me save Jacob and fight Victoria.

His smug laughter and malicious smile told me otherwise however "In a way" He replied with a smirk "I suppose you could say that"

All the comfort and hope I had been feeling washed from my body, replaced with fear and defiance. I began to wriggle in his hold, attempting to free myself from his imposed closeness.

"Let me go" I screamed "Get your hands off me!"

"Settle down little girl" he said, not seeming to be ruffled in the slightest by my outburst and attempt at freedom "Not long to go now"

"Where are you taking me?" I yelled.

"I'll explain soon" he replied nonchalantly as if we were going on a little Sunday drive instead of heading towards my death.

Gradually I ceased trying to escape his hold, realising that nothing could be achieved from fighting him. My arms and torso were beginning to burn and ache from the damage I had caused myself from struggling against his iron grip and I felt a strange warmness flood my stomach and arms. Looking down I realised that in the struggle William must have either grabbed or held me too tightly and my arms were torn to shreds. The warmth I felt was blood from my arms spilling down across my stomach.

"Logan, I'm bleeding!" I screamed.

"It's William" he corrected again with annoyance "And don't worry, I can control myself"

"I don't give a shit about you!" I spat back "I'm worried about myself!!"

"Ha" he scoffed "If I was you I wouldn't be concerned about a few pathetic cuts to my arms! Savour this moment Bella" he smiled looking down into my face, suffocating me with evil "This is nothing compared to what's in store for you"

As I looked up at him, my grief returned tenfold.

"Why William" I cried "Didn't you care about me at all?"

I saw a flicker of something cross his face. I wasn't sure what exactly it was, but it was definitely a softer emotion...pity? Compassion? Regret? Whatever it was, it only lasted a few seconds to be replaced with a look of hostility and hatred.

"No Bella" He replied, returning his eyes to the path we were taking "I don't care about you at all."

"I don't believe that" I whispered.

"And that, my dear" Logan laughed "is what got you into this mess in the first place"

As we hurtled towards our destination, I closed my eyes and tried to conjure a place in my mind where William's laughter didn't bounce off the trees and echo through our surroundings, filling my head and my heart, ringing in my ears and screaming through my mind.

But I couldn't escape it, just like I could not escape what was about to happen. All I could do was pray...pray that I would be able to save Jacob...pray that Edward and the others would be safe...pray for a miracle.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: **_Hey guys, once again I'm really sorry for the delay in posting...with all the drama that has been going on in my actual life I've been hesitant to create more in my head! But here it finally is, one of the final chapters. Only one, maybe two more to go. Thanks for all those that have stuck with it (although many of you have probably given up on me by now) and I hope it doesn't disappoint!_

**End of Last Chapter: **_As we hurtled towards our destination, I closed my eyes and tried to conjure a place in my mind where William's laughter didn't bounce off the trees and echo through our surroundings, filling my head and my heart, ringing in my ears and screaming through my mind._

_But I couldn't escape it, just like I could not escape what was about to happen. All I could do was pray...pray that I would be able to save Jacob...pray that Edward and the others would be safe...pray for a miracle._

Chapter Seventeen

It took a while for me to realise that the wind rushing across my face and the spinning of the world around my senses had finally settled. Although my head was still dizzy from our flight, much like the aftermath of being on a rollercoaster, I knew we had stopped running.

For a moment I dared not open my eyes. I didn't know if it was because I wasn't completely sure if we had stopped moving or if I was too afraid to see exactly where we were, but regardless for a few silent seconds I clutched tight to my sightless denial of the fact that we had reached our destination.

When I finally opened my eyes the world around me was pitch black. I couldn't see much of anything and what I could see was unfamiliar. All I could make out was a small jetty and the sound of gentle lapping waves close in the distance.

William placed me on the ground and my legs only lasted a few seconds before they buckled under my weight and I crashed onto the ground. My hands reached out in front of my body to soften the fall and grabbed onto what I appeared to be sandy gravel.

William was to my right, fiddling with a rope attached to the jetty. Squinting in an effort to see what he was doing I followed the trail of the rope to a small boat bobbing up and down in a black pool of water.

"Where are we?" I asked, disorientated and chilled to the bone with cold and fear.

William didn't answer, instead he strolled elegantly back towards me with a small smile on his face. Bending down he scooped me up carefully into his arms and said "See you on the other side".

Before I had time to respond he had propelled me into the air like he was throwing a football and flung me from the shore onto the boat. His aim was perfect, but the force of his throw was careless and I crashed hard against the far end of the inside of the boat smacking my head and shoulder painfully against the metal frame.

I yelped in pain and thought I heard a snigger from the shore.

Scrambling to get control of myself and the situation I attempted to push myself up, but the pain from my torn arms combined with my now throbbing head and shoulder was too much. For a couple of seconds my vision cut out and was replaced with sparkling stars and a nauseating buzzing noise like a swarm of mosquitoes were gathering around my head. Crying tears of frustration at my pathetic battered body, I had no choice but to collapse back down into the boat.

Terror began to solidify itself firmly in my heart as I realised I was too damaged to attempt to physically fight what was happening to me. In perfect health I was no match for William, and now that my body was broken I was completely helpless.

Suddenly the boat lurched backward violently and I could see that William was now perched on the other end of the boat, obviously having jumped from the shore. He started the engine up and we began motoring away from land as fast as the old boat's engine would allow.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked, shaking my head in an attempt to clear the fog of pain and fear from my mind.

"A small island just off the coast" William answered as if we were merely taking a casual sightseeing boat ride "It's uninhabited, but has a concrete bunker constructed during the war that will be our new home for the next few hours...well actually" he continued with a little chuckle "it's more a matter of however long it takes us to finish this little dance we've been rehearsing for the last few months"

"They'll find you" I replied trying to sound confident "They'll find you and then they'll rip you to shreds William"

"Mmmm Hmmm" he replied offhandedly in much the same way one would reply to a person in an effort to humour them.

"It's not too late William" I continued "You don't have to do this you know!" and I cringed in disappointment over the amount of desperation that revealed itself in my voice.

"Good to know" he said with a slight chuckle.

"Seriously William!" I continued to plead "I know your story...I know who you truly are! If you stop this I could ask the others not to hurt you when they find us!"

"When they find us?" He laughed, his left eyebrow raised in amusement.

"Yes" I replied breathlessly, trying so hard to sound sure of my statement "They _will_ find us"

"Oh, I doubt that" he said with quiet confidence the way parents talk to their children when they assure them that there is no bogeyman, no monsters...no vampires "They won't be able to trace your scent across the water. Even if they trace your scent to the jetty, there must be more than a couple of dozen little islands like the one we're going to out there. Plus Victoria has arranged for a little 'distraction' heading their way as we speak that should keep them busy for a wee while. You, my dear, are all on your own out here"

"This isn't you" I shouted, my mind still battling to assimilate this person I saw before me with the gentle and wonderful Logan I had grown to love "Please" I begged "Please remember who you are!"

At this he sprung forward in the boat so that our faces were only an inch or two apart. The look on his face was pure menace.

"And who is that Bella?" He sneered "Is it the Logan you knew? Because he never existed! Is it the William that Alicia knew? Because he died the exact same moment when your loving and perfect friends slaughtered her"

Then he relaxed back into a sitting position, but maintained the menacing look on his face "You don't know me at all Bella. And my life as I knew it with Alicia is nothing more than a painful memory now that she is gone. Victoria is all I have now. How dare you ask me to go against the one person who has not betrayed me or let me down?"

"Victoria's only using you" I spat with venom "She doesn't care about you. She is only using you to get what she wants and will discard you in an instant once it's all over"

"So what should I do?" William asked, and although he maintained a look of hatred across his face his voice betrayed a hint of sadness "Should I go throw myself on the mercy of your beloved Cullen's and their canine friends? Look at what happened to Alicia when she did that!"

"Don't place the blame of Alicia's death on the Cullen's or the werewolves" I shouted "She died because she couldn't live with herself after all that had happened to her. She basically took her own life because of what you had done. Alicia's death was completely your and Victoria's fault!" I screamed "If you hadn't..."

But before I could finish my sentence a blurring pain filled my senses as William lashed out and struck me across the face with his hand. It felt as if the bones of my skull had been dented and the stars and mosquitoes returned once again.

"Shut it!" William growled, and through my watering eyes I could see a crazy and vengefilled thirst across his features "Shut your mouth or I will rip it off you!"

Trembling, I retreated from his wrath, curling my broken frame into a small ball as far away from his as I could manage on the tiny boat. I so desperately wanted to cry, but was determined not to give him the satisfaction of seeing me weep. I remembered the promise I made to myself earlier in the week that I would not go into the darkness of death willingly or gently and so to show William my tears would be to give him the satisfaction of seeing me break before I died. I would not give him or Victoria that prize.

We rode without speaking in the boat for what would have been around 15 minutes. I frantically tried to think of ways I could get myself and Jacob out of this mess, but I kept on drawing a blank. I just prayed that Jacob was still alive and that somehow I could trust these two deceitful and disgusting vampires to keep their word and let Jacob live through this. In my heart I suspected that whatever happened they would show Jacob no mercy, but I still held out hope that my beautiful and brilliant friend would be able to get through this and that my sacrifice would not be in vain.

The movement of the boat began to tilt gently and I realised William was manoeuvring it in a different direction to which we had previously been travelling.

Raising myself as much as my pained limbs would allow, I could see land in the foreground. My stomach heaved in a mixture of relief and fear knowing that we had reached our final destination.

"Honey, we're home" William sang. My teeth clenched in anger at the taunt, but when I heard a brittle snigger coming from the shore I realised he wasn't talking to me...he was talking to Victoria.

The boat idled and then the engine became silent. Nothing could be heard but the rustling of trees and the gentle splashing of water against the shore. I closed my eyes hard and hopelessly wished that I could stay here in the boat for a while longer - avoid the inevitable fate that was waiting for me on land.

"Catch!" William shouted enthusiastically and once again I was hurtling through the air.

I heard Victoria's laughter growing louder as I flew through the air and landed in her arms.

"Welcome Bella" she purred against my cheek "You smell good enough to eat!"

"Get your hands off me!" I screamed, twisting and writhing in her clutches, pain crashing through my body from the effort.

Her laughter sounded shrill and harsh and her grip was relentless. It only took her a split second to carry me into the concrete bunker William had spoken of and once inside she dropped me onto the hard ground like a sack of rubbish.

"Jesus William, what did you do to her? She's a mess...did you get a little impatient?" She said offhandedly, as if she was asking her husband how his day at the bank went.

I heard William respond, telling Victoria he didn't hurt me on purpose and that I had simply struggled too hard, but I was more focussed on examining my surroundings to pay too much attention to what they were saying.

It took a wee while for my eyes to adjust. After having been in the black of the night for so long the brightness inside the bunker was blinding. Looking around I was amazed at how large the structure was. We appeared to be in a large room, the size of the Forks High School hall, which was made completely of concrete apart from a few small holes near the roof of the structure obviously acting as windows, or more accurately lookouts from the time of the war.

The room was lit with candles and I could see two entrances to the room we were in. One was where we had come from and was located at the top of a stairway making me assume this bunker was situated just below ground level. The other doorway appeared to lead further down underground, but it was too dark to see what was beyond the door.

The room we were in was completely empty apart from what on first glance looked like a pile of blankets lying on the ground. Looking closer however I could make out a pair of animal paws peeking out from between the cloth at one end.

"Jacob!" I screamed, scrambling on to my hands and knees in an effort to get to him and wincing with pain...a reminder of how fragile and vulnerable this human body was.

"Shhhhhh" William whispered, crouching down to where I kneeled on the floor "He's just having a wee nap"

"Jacob!!!!" I screamed even louder, frantic at the sight of the bundle in the corner of the room. I was terrified I was too late and all that was left to save were the broken remains of a wonderful soul.

The faint moan that followed my scream and the slight shifting of the 'pile' brought sweet relief flooding over me. He was alive!

Victoria strolled over to where Jacob lay covered in blankets and peered down. She turned back towards us and smiled sweetly "Still fast asleep" she cooed "That gives us time to have a little chat before we need to start the messy business of tying up all the loose ends" she purred, wrinkling her nose up slightly as if this were a fun game.

She was so beautiful and mesmerising, it was hard to equate her appearance with the cruelty and barbarity she was so adept at. Looking at both Victoria and William was confusing, like driving past a serious car crash. It was disgusting and horrid, yet at the same time so enticing, so fascinating.

"At last" Victoria said, walking over to William's side and then gracefully sitting herself on the floor in front of me "We get some alone time" Her smile was startling...so warm and gregarious yet I knew the malice that lurked behind it.

"Let Jacob go" I said trying to sound confident "You have me, so let him go"

"What's your rush?" Victoria asked, cocking her head to one side with an amused expression "He's getting some well deserved sleep...it would be a crime to wake him"

"Is he hurt?" I whimpered in fear.

"Not one tiny hair on his head" William assured me, still crouching in front of me. Then he started laughing heartily before continuing "Your Edward would appreciate the humour here - we broke into a vetinary surgery and took some animal tranquilisers to sedate him. Doesn't Edward always refer to Jacob as a dog?"

"Go to hell!" I spat.

William feigned a hurt expression and I heard Victoria sigh heavily. Looking over in her direction, I saw her sitting tranquilly on the floor with a gentle smile on her face. Her smile became wider and more buoyant with each second that passed.

"What?" I snapped, annoyed by her amusement.

"Oh, I'm just so happy and relieved at the way things have worked out" She said dreamily "I honestly thought that we would have to come up with a new plan for a while, but apart from the dramatics that ensued after we were exposed, everything has pretty much worked out exactly as we planned it. In fact, I think the slight change in plans has actually improved the situation...more excitement and drama don't you think?" At the end of the sentence she gave a little giggle and clapped her hands together like a delighted child.

"You must be so proud of yourself" I replied, my words dripping with caustic sarcasm "You were able to catch a young and inexperienced werewolf and a teenage human girl. James would be so proud"

The smile instantly vanished from Victoria's face to be replaced with a hateful scowl. I instantly wondered how I could have thought she was beautiful - I had never seen anything uglier than her sharp and twisted features in all of my life. Slowly her face began to soften again and the smile crept back once more.

"I am quite disappointed in your ignorance Bella" she chastised "This here" she continued, gesturing with her hand out towards the room we were in "is just the icing on the cake. Do you honestly think the end goal was to kill you?"

I looked at her confused "You're not going to kill me?" I gasped, incredulous at what she was proposing.

"Oh, of course I am" she scoffed in amusement, as if I was the biggest idiot to think otherwise "But that is no more than an act of taking out the trash. What I was more interested in was the _process_ of getting here...what is that saying: it's the journey, not the destination that's important? You see, I knew that killing you would be a fair retribution to Edward for what he did to James, but it wasn't enough. I didn't want to merely even the score, I wanted to make him suffer more than anyone had suffered before...much more than I had suffered"

I couldn't stop myself before a scolding chuckle sprang from my throat.

"Oh, you think that my suffering is funny do you?" Victoria asked with a salty and bitter smile.

"You have to have feelings in order to suffer" I retorted.

She leaned in close to me and whispered in my ear "My heart shattered into a million pieces the day James died" and in that instance I believed her, the pain and loss dripped from her words "It will never be truly mended, but at least I haven't suffered the way Edward has..." and she trailed off, leaving that ambiguous statement hanging in the air.

I shook my head slightly, not understanding what she meant. And, as if reading my mind, William spoke up "That's where I came in" William continued "From what we knew of Edward, we realised that to be replaced, to be rejected by you would cause unbearable suffering. I created the character of Logan with you in mind and he didn't disappoint! And you..." William said laughing heartily "You were all too quick to replace him - initially Jacob and then later with me! I honestly could not believe how quick you were to reject him when it came time to choose between me and him" he said shaking his head and almost 'tutting' as if telling off a child, but then his eyes became dark pools of hatred "Honestly Bella, you don't deserve someone like Edward, he is far too good for you. Even now, even just being here is another rejection of Edward. You snuck out of that hospital like a weasel, not trusting him enough to help you, not telling him where you are going...can you imagine how frantic and worried sick he will be right his very second?" William leaned back and seemed to purr with satisfaction, his amused mood obviously returning "Well can you? Close your eyes and picture it sweetheart! He's probably running through the forest right this second bellowing your name..._Bella, Bella where are you?_" he mocked "He will be terrified and desperate in his search for you. He will be blaming himself and hating everything that he is for letting this happen to his precious human....its sheer poetry!!!" At that William stood up with excitement and began pacing around the room.

Victoria leaned forward and rested her hand on my knee, much like someone would do when discussing secrets with a friend "He will blame himself you know" she whispered with a smile "He will hold himself completely responsible. Furthermore your death will leave him completely without reason for living. Why, I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't find a way to kill himself to keep from the torture and suffering he will have to endure for the rest of eternity! And it's all thanks to you Bella; I couldn't have inflicted nearly as much pain on him myself! Thank you...from the bottom of my heart, thank you for destroying Edward like I couldn't"

As the meaning of what they were saying began to seep into my conscious, the emotions that I had tried to keep at bay flooded their way forcefully into my heart. As much as I wanted to stay strong it was impossible. I began dry-retching with nausea, my stomach heaving but coming up empty. With each retch my body became weaker and weaker, drawing closer and closer to the concrete floor, until my forehead rested on the ground - my body shuddering from my heaving stomach and wrenching sobs.

I couldn't believe what I had done. The severity of the pain I had caused Edward, which was only bound to be intensified with my death, was too much to fathom. Overwhelmed and destroyed, I screamed through my tears and pounded the ground with my fists.

I felt something on my back, and realised that William had sat on the floor beside me and was rubbing my back just like a loved one would do for comfort.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed, lashing out at him with my hands. He grabbed them in his own and clutched them tightly, lifting my body off the floor by my arms and pulling me close to his face "It doesn't end there" he said venomously and then pulled me onto this lap so that I was facing Victoria.

"No" she spat, the amusement leaving her completely now to be replaced with cold determination "It doesn't. You see, I can't lay the blame of this solely on Edward's head. To do so would obviously overlook one very important player....you"

I stared bitterly into her eyes with an expression that told her there was nothing more she could do that could hurt me any more than she already had...although I had a strong suspicion that it was extremely foolish of me to think so.

"You owe me" She said, pointing her bony finger in my face "You are the sole reason James is dead. And again I have to add that killing you has never been the ultimate goal. James got you to offer up your life in place of your mother's, so obviously it isn't such a punishment for you...in fact I imagine you actually get a sense of satisfaction and pride from thinking you are doing a noble and worthwhile act – offering your life in place of the life of someone you love. I would rather see you live than give you an excuse to feel good about yourself" she seethed, leaning in so close that I could feel her breath against my face "But don't get me wrong Bella" she continued "You _are_ going to die. More than that, you are going to die slowly and painfully so that you can feel physically the torture I have felt emotionally since James' murder. Before you die, however, you have a choice to make"

I simply stared at her, waiting for what was obviously the climax of her plans.

"You have to choose Bella...you have to choose who will die - Edward or Jacob?"

I was utterly confused and thought that perhaps I had misheard "But Edward isn't here" I muttered.

"Not yet anyway" Victoria purred.

I began to shake my head wildly "No" I screamed "No! You said you would let Jacob go! You said if I came here you would let him live!"

"I said no such thing!" William hissed in my ear "I said we would kill him if you didn't meet me in the ambulance bay, not that I would let him live if you did"

"Placing semantics aside" Victoria interrupted "There is still a way you can save his life Bella. I mean it...no tricks, no lying, no hidden meanings. There is still hope for him to live a long and happy life...are you interested?"

Although my entire body was shaking with rage and my jaw ached from how tightly I was clenching it, I managed to keep quiet and simply stare at her with a look of defiance.

"It's simple" Victoria said not waiting for an answer and folding her hands in her lap with the expression of a business woman about to make a pitch to potential investors "There are two paths you can take now Bella. Path number one, you save Edward. In that case we wake up sleeping beauty" she said, throwing her arms out in the direction of Jacob "And torture him for a while you look on, finally killing him. After that we will then kill you, pack up our things and be off on our merry way. Path number two, you save Jacob. In that case we give him some more doggy-dream medication, wrap him up nice and warm in his blankies and set him off to sea in the boat. Meanwhile, we text Edward informing him of our location and tell him to come alone or we will kill you. Then, we will proceed to pull you apart like a cooked chicken, all ready for his viewing pleasure on his arrival. I think once he sees what is left of you he probably won't put up much of a fight when William and I offer him the sweet release of death...what do you think?"

"I can't" I gasped, the breath stolen from my lungs as the sheer horror of what she was asking of me permeated my thought processes "I can't choose. Please" I begged, my eyes pleading with her to show some mercy "Please don't ask this of me"

"And yet here we are" Victoria snapped harshly "With me asking and you having no other option but to choose"

My mind was scrambling, racing, trying to find some way out of this horrific maze. I decided the only course of action I had was to try and convince them their plan would fail.

"You forgot one thing" I bluffed "Alice's visions...she knew about your 'distraction', the newborns, on their way to Forks and so she probably knows about where we are and what you have got planned. I should imagine you've only got a few seconds before they arrive, so if I were you I'd get my bathing suit on and get out of here as quick as you can"

"Don't be an idiot Bella" William snapped at me, stopping momentarily in his pacing "I discovered in my time with the Cullen's that Alice can't see anything when there are werewolves involved"

Almost as if Jacob had heard us talking, he whimpered quietly and shifted slightly in his drug-induced sleep.

William was right; as long as Jacob was here Alice wouldn't be able to see a thing. I felt the chill of disappointment wash over me...they had planned for everything.

"So my dear, who do you love more?" Victoria seethed, a vicious thirst now present in her voice as she drew closer to the conclusion of her plans.

"I won't choose" I said in quiet defiance.

"Then they both die!" William shouted with impatience, storming towards me in anger. "Dammit Bella" he continued "I'm sick of this game...I'm sick of you being pathetically perfect and self-sacrificing. It honestly makes me sick! You are going to die, of that you can be sure. For once in your life grow some balls and make a hard decision! There is no one here to make it for you, so you can't pass the buck this time...so just choose!"

"Like you did?" I yelled in return, rising to my feet and feeling dizzy from the sudden movement "Should I make a decision to let someone I love die because of my actions the way you did with Alicia? You can blame the Cullen's or the werewolves all you like, but YOU killed her William. You and your selfish and stupid obsession with someone who doesn't give a damn about you. Someone who is only using you to get what she wants. You call me pathetic, but how pathetic are you? Victoria doesn't give a shit about you...you are _nothing_ to her!"

William's blow landed directly across the left side of my face and sent me flying all the way to the back of the bunker. Slamming against the concrete wall, I was showered with debris and dirt. For a while the ringing in my ears made it impossible for me to fathom what had just happened, but as it abated I could feel the excruciating pain that begin to radiate not only from my face where he had struck me, but also from my back that had slammed so forcefully into the concrete wall.

Gasping for air and trying to stay conscious through the pain, I crumpled onto the ground. Despite the ringing in my ears I could hear Victoria and William arguing. Victoria was yelling at William to not lose control and kill me before the plan was enacted and he was yelling back in an attempt to justify his actions.

Forehead to the cold floor and in overwhelming pain, I began to feel all the strength and resolve dissolve within me. I began to accept my fate, and perhaps the fate of both Edward and Jacob. I couldn't continue to try and fight William and Victoria anymore. Furthermore there was no possible way I could choose between Edward and Jacob and so it appeared that all three of us were doomed.

In this, my darkest moment, I felt something run across my hand. At first I thought it was a bug of some sort, until on reflection I realised how hot the 'bug' had felt. Glancing up slightly I saw that it was not a bug, but instead an animal paw...Jacob was awake!

Looking into his eyes through the gaps of his coverings, I saw him wink at me and then dramatically loll his head to one side and drop his tongue out of his mouth...he was pretending to still be asleep! Victoria and William must have underestimated the amount of tranquilizer needed to keep a werewolf sedated for long, especially a werewolf as strong as Jake.

My mind started whirring with what this could mean. How long had he been awake? Had he managed to let the pack know where we were through his thoughts? What path of action should I take now knowing that Jacob was actually awake?

I was so frustrated that I couldn't communicate with him, but at the same time overjoyed that not only was he ok, but he could have possibly sent out an emergency beacon of sorts to the pack letting them know where we were. I could only pray that wherever we were it was close enough for him to communicate with the others.

As I saw Jacob's tail gently wag my spirits lifted. Through that gesture and the look in his eyes I could tell that he was trying to let me know things might actually not be as bad as they had seemed only seconds ago.

I tentatively reached out my hand to touch Jacob's paw and rubbed it gently "I'm so sorry" I whispered as quietly as I was able "Please forgive me for putting you in this danger"

Jacob gave a small whimper in return, but before I could say anything further I felt a sharp stinging and tearing sensation on my scalp. Reaching up to where the pain was emanating from, I felt two cold hands clutching at my hair and dragging me off the floor. William pulled me up so high that my toes barely scratched at the ground beneath them. He brought me to eye level with him and looked at me with murderous intent.

"You're coming with me" He snarled and led me towards the door that disappeared into the underground "Plans have changed Bella...by the way, Victoria, the dog is awake. Best you put him out of his misery"

Panic streaked through my body...I racked my mind for clues as to why the plans had changed and mentally abused myself for not paying attention to what had been going on.

"No!" I cried, raging at the disappearance of all the reassurance I had just felt. I had been so close to hope that the taste it left in my mouth was bitterly sweet.

As I was dragged away, I screamed and screamed until my voice was too hoarse to scream any more. I kept rasping out Jacob's name over and over again, but it was useless. The drugs were obviously still in his system and I watched as he shuddered and lurched on the floor in an effort to break his bindings, but not managing to free himself.

Just before William shut the door to the tunnels underground I watched Victoria lean in close with a menacing smile over my beloved best friend.

"Don't be too upset Bella" She laughed in my direction "You must have been crazy to think we would have actually let him live anyway! Take this as a small mercy in that you didn't end up having to make that decision after all"

"NO!!!!" I screeched, the last of my strength giving rise to the last of my voice.

As the world blackened around me with the closing of the door, the final image I was left with was Jacob's eyes piercing through mine as Victoria continued to lean in closer to him - they were filled with regret, terror and sadness, but also beauty and love.

As we disappeared down the tunnel I could hear screaming and struggle which began to fade the further we travelled.

I kept on repeating the words in my head...regret, terror, sadness, beauty and love. What perfect words to describe what Jacob meant to me and what I had meant to him.

It no longer mattered what William and Victoria had in store for me. My hope had been murdered, my heart destroyed, my soul forsaken.

From this exact moment forth, I was already completely and utterly dead.


End file.
